073: Dismantle Your Playbooks

A playbook is a set of expectations we have for another person.
If you were the coach of a football team, you’d have a set of playbooks, and you’d expect your team members to play the game accordingly.
We do the same thing in life with ordinary people, except they rarely play according to our expectations.
And that’s why our kids’ can be friggen frustrating. Or our wife, employees, or parents...
The helpful thing to do is to take a look at your playbooks.
For example, if you’re holding a playbook for your wife, ask yourself:
- If I could wave a magic wand, how would I want my wife to act?
- If she behaved exactly the way I wanted, how would I feel? And what would I believe?
For for the final, big-kicker question:
- Can you believe that right now? Can you find evidence to support that belief without her changing?
The answer is almost always “yes.”
This is how we release tension from a relationship and stop trying to control the other person.
Listen to today’s episode so you can stop wishing the other person would change. You’ll both feel better, and it’ll be on your own terms.

Two upcoming workshops for you in Perrysburg:
You’ll set the right goals and know you’re doing the right thing with your time.
January 10 - Drive 2025
January 11 - ReNew Year