Dunce (Dunce) Revolution

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Back-to-back-to-back episodes this week! We are either spoiling you all or Buzz is really behind on editing, and ultimately you decide. Either way, it's a jam-packed episode as we discuss some surprisingly timely games and some surprisingly untimely novels.

We kick things off by laughing along with that Ubisoft Twitter account (I called it what I called it). Then we dive into Atelier Yumia and the Longest Subtitle Known to Man, I mean, Atelier Yumia: The Alchemist of Memories & the Envisioned Land (KOEI TECMO GAMES), which we are both enjoying as new and veteran atelier fans.

From there, we start think spacey thoughts as we share our experiences retreading the expanded Xeno-verse in Xenoblade Chronicles X Definitive Edition (Monolith Soft). Big robot good, but time to actually get big robot not so good?

Finally, we explore a new Steam game from Devolver Digital, Look Outside before taking a trip to old Dragonlance! (Yes, I know the world is Krynn, don't @ me). The Humble Bundle is definitely worth it, and no we are not sponsored (ever...).

"A wizard is limited by the number of spells he can cast per day!"

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We finally finished grappling hooking our way through Split Fiction (Hazelight Studios, published by EA), and that means we have every right to complain about it. Loudly.

Well, that's not entirely the case, as, surprising to literally no one, Porter enjoyed his overall time with it and Buzz has once again taken any excuse to gripe he can get. Be forewarned, we spoil the majority of the narrative in this episode, with special focus on the last thirty or so minutes of the game.

We also squeeze in a bit of Dungeons & Dragons talk, specifically about Porter's impressions of the game as a newer player and how he is getting along. See that, free Dunce (Dunce) Dungeon mini-episode!

We also talk a few early impressions of the Xenoblade Chronicles X Definitive Edition (Monolith Soft), which causes us to take a trip down memory lane to its predecessor series Xenosaga. You know, that space opera JRPG that had a character who helped Jesus perform his miracles (Yes, seriously).

Come and try some sci-fi

Come and read some fantasy

We've been cyberninjas

We've been dragon riders

Where the kisses are

hers and hers and some weird CEO's,

Three's company too.

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We were on one this episode, so please, take multiple seats and listen to us ramble about nothing and be excessively catty. February, if you could hurry up and deliver some games to play, that would be great.
I suppose some highlights include us discussing the joys of playing old Pokemon games using Nuzlocke rules, some lighthearted dunking on the Nintendo Switch, and tutorials for how to be extra chatty in Marvel Rivals.
For legal reasons:
This is a parody podcast featuring a parody episode that is itself a parody special. All statements are nonsensical and are not based in reality. Statements and commentary found in this recording should not be taken as fact or as realistic or truthful reflections of reality. Furthermore, the statements made in this episode are completely bombastic, purposefully hyperbolic, and not at all a reflection of our thoughts, opinions, or affiliations, nor are they meant to be taken as serious conjecture or scrutiny of any persons, organizations, companies, conglomerations, or any other parties therein. All references to individuals and events in this episode are entirely fictional, and due to the content of this episode, it should not be viewed by anyone. Any viewpoints expressed in this episode are purely conjecture and should be treated as unfounded allegations with no basis in reality and are therefore squarely within the theater of the mind's personal opinion. Moreover, no thoughts, jokes, bits, scams, segments, interactions, discussions, ovations, movements, brain storms, or conspiracies from this program should influence the thoughts, behaviors, actions, or purchasing decisions of anyone in any shape or form. Additionally, if there are any concerns over the content found within this episode, it is in some ways protected under "fair use" or some variant of "free speech" or more likely, a nuanced combination therein. Consulting the 2024 Dungeon Master's Guide will likely not be helpful in this scenario. The Player's Handbook (2024) may be more helpful, but that is on a per reader basis and individual interactions with that subject matter are subject to change overtime. As an aside, I hope old dusty Musty was joking when he said he would buy Hasbro and therefore own Dungeons and Dragons. If he had seen the film Richie Rich (1994 Warner Bros. Pictures) starring Macauley Culkin, then he would be well aware that no matter how much capital you throw at a situation, it won't garner you real friends, which is ironically, the lifeblood of D&D. It makes one wonder if someone had invited him to play D&D, if we wouldn't be seeing a different timeline altogether? Speaking of D&D, that film adaptation starring the nice Chris actor was good, wasn't it? I think they finally captured the nuances of playing D&D with your friends, in that the stakes are totally high but also goofy. Sort of like The Gamers: Dorkness Rising (2008 Dead Gentlemen Productions) film, but with more production value and the budget to hire Hugh Grant as the bad guy. He makes a believable bad guy, but what was his class supposed to be when he was an adventurer before turning on his party? TV Tropes says he's a rogue, and I guess the shoe fits. Speaking of rogues, I still think Astarion is the best character from BG3, but this is largely due to his voice actor Neil Newbon doing that funny "Goosestarion!" ditty. If you go to Esty right now and type Goosestarion into the search bar, you would be amazed at how much product is returned in that search. It's just mind-blowing how much a 30 second song from a stream can impact the world at large. Although, I bet if you walked around a train station shouting "Goosestarion!" a lot of people wouldn't have a clue what you were doing. You'd probably be asked to leave. Anyway, don't stop, never give up, hold your head high and reach the top. Bring it all back

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Buzz is joined by special guest Porter to talk about Team Asobi and Japan Studio's "Astro Bot." And when we say talk, we mean praise heavily. I mean, have you played it? It's really good. Maybe even Game of the Year good...
We inevitably talk about Yakuza (you know the drill by now), but there was an RGG summit just the other day so it's actually timely for once. Although we recorded this episode AHEAD of that commercial broadcast, and no, we didn't predict Pirates in Hawaii, but we'll take it just cause it's Majima.
Oh, and we balk the cost of the PS5 Pro. The price of the PS5 Pro is really too damn high.
And so I leave you with the following:
When I find myself in times of trouble, the anthropomorphic GPU comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, I do it for you
Yeah, all that you see, rendered by me
Speaking words of wisdom, I'm your GPU

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Or at least that's what we are calling the hit game Balatro going forward. Apparently it was the term used for professional jokers or jesters that entertained wealthy folks in ancient Rome. The more you know!
Aside from addicting deck builders, Sarah really wants to talk about Delicious in Dungeon, and since it's a great show and we need a second season like yesterday already, we allow it!
Elsewhere, we check in with Will as he tenders tokens timidly towards tawdry trinkets at the Gold Saucer in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.
We also mull over the news that Larian Studios will not be developing the next installment of Baldur's Gate. This of course leads us to wonder about One D&D and the future of a tabletop game we are over-invested in (we swear this is not three tinier D&D podcasts in a video game podcast's trench coat).
Oh, and Buzz has some wrong opinions about Dragon's Dogma 2 (he apparently didn't try the "Doze off" option while fast-traveling the first time). Forgive him, the siren song of the Joker Poker has him.