Choose to Be Happy

04/28/24 • 23 min

Choose to Be Happy
Happiness is a choice.
Happiness on the job, happiness in life
How long will you wait before you demand the best for yourself?
Not jumping up and down happiness but general contentment and satisfaction.
“People are about as happy as they make up their mind to b.”
this was said both by Will Rogers and Abraham Lincoln
Research shows that even if you force a smile, it can help you feel better off in the action that leads the mind.
Coach refers to the work by Amy Cuddy, an American social psychologist, author, and speaker.
In her talk, she often talks about body movement and refers to the Wonder Woman pose as a way to bring up your mood and feel more powerful in the moment.
You can't think your way into happiness but can physically act your way.
Victor Frankel said you worked at things or some project, and you feel happier.
This ties into our previous podcast, where we talked about self-efficacy.
Much of this goes to mindset, as the coach says: You can clean toilets and be happy and miserable, as well as a CEO.
Things that we think will make us happy, like a new car, ultimately just become another thing. A new purchase of anything often lasts as little as six weeks, like the purchase of a car. It is more in accomplishing things than the challenges we find happiness in doing.
The person cleaning or waxing the floors doing a good job feels happy, and the job feels better because they are so glad.
Coach always liked the saying, “Do what you love, or love what you do.”
We need to decide to demand more for ourselves. In other words, I want to do more. Coach clarifies by saying both demand for yourself and demand of yourself.
Realizing that we only have a limited amount of time on this earth—and we often forget that—can help us realize that we need to demand more of ourselves and from ourselves to fill and fulfill Our Lives.
An important concept to remember is that no matter what you do or what you buy, what's going on in your life, sometimes it's going to suck; they're going to be obstacles; it's just part of life; expect it, and accept it. Remember that most things pass, both good and bad.
One thing that can enhance happiness, learning new skills
Leo refers to the book Make Your Bed First by Admiral William H McRaven.
Paying attention to what you say to yourself.
Control what you can and let go of what you can't
Stop banging your head
Happiness is the pursuit of a worthwhile goal
~Earl Nightingale
Having a team to work with is motivating and can induce happiness!
We are social beings.
Dennis’ new books should be out in late June 2024:
Unleashing the Power of Connection
Discover the power of accountability partners and Mastermind groups: Stop procrastinating, build better habits, achieve your goals, and succeed.
“Live your life like it’s your last day,” Leo quips. “I did; now I am broke and in debt.”
Better live like you will die tomorrow, but live like you will live forever.
The best thing to do is pick one or two ideas and follow through.
You don’t necessarily need more money to make you happy, or once you reach a certain level, more money isn’t as important as other things you may want to do.
Tips & Tools
First, make your bed
Try new things
Do what you love or love what you do
Pay attention to your mindset, thoughts, and attitudes.
Change your internal talk-self talk
Eliminate toxic people
Get clear
Set boundaries
Learn to say no
Book What Do You Say When You Talk To Yourself, Shad Helmster Ph.D.

Email: dennis@drdecision&coach.com

#success #procrastination # confidence # Personal development #habit #consistency

Email: dennis@drdecision&coach.com

#success #procrastination # confidence # Personal development #habit #consistency

Previous Episode

Self Efficacy-Can & Can’t Optimizing Self-efficacy.

Self Efficacy-Can & Can’t
Optimizing self-efficacy.
What the heck is that?
The belief is that an individual can get the desired outcomes.
The concept originated in Stoics.
Components of Self-efficacy

Building on small successes
Seeing others succeed
Getting encouragement

The Serenity Prayer: an offshoot of the Stoics

Control what you can
Let go of what you can’t
Learning the difference

Control what you can, your activities, what you do each day, and your career. You can't control the government, the economy, or other people; you can only control yourself, which can be hard enough.
Mindset and what you believe or have been told what to believe are important.
Dr. Decison suggests that even if we can't change something now, it may be good to hope that we can change it later.
Hope; adopt the philosophy of “Not Yet,” a belief that you will get there.
Drawing from past successes, we can garner confidence and belief that we can achieve something new.
Leo saw a handkerchief in the store once containing a quote by Marilyn Monroe. When she was faced with making a decision, it said, “What the hell? “ This was supposedly her attitude when faced with a challenge or something new.
Even when something is out of our control, we still have power. We can still make choices and decisions. We always have the power to decide which way to go.
When a situation occurs, most people run off the principle of “Stimulus Respond.”
Barry Kaufman of the Option Institute suggests we consider “Simulus--Belief—Respond.” In other words, stop and ask yourself what you believe and think about that before responding.
Use ABC Method
Activity-what happen
Belief-examine the belief
Consequence-the belief controls the consequences
Always sticking with your values
No matter the situation, there's always a choice, a decision, and no one can take that away from you. You may not always like the possibilities or the potential outcomes, but it's still your choice, your decision.
The author of the Dilbert comic strip, Scott Adams, had tons of jobs and said, “I learned something from each job.”
We often can’t control a situation but can control how we react.
When we can no longer change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Tips

Start small
Get support
Remember “Not Yet”
Never miss two days in a row if you are starting something new; then you are at least at 50%

When we can no longer change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Email: dennis@drdecision&coach.com

#success #procrastination # confidence # Personal development

Email: dennis@drdecision&coach.com

#success #procrastination # confidence # Personal development #habit #consistency

Next Episode

ANXIETY CAN BE AN ASSET

ANXIETY CAN BE AN ASSET

Anxiety can be an asset in your life if appropriately managed..

“It was like starting to write a novel. When I face the desolate impossibility of writing five hundred pages, a sick sense of failure falls on me, and I know I can never do it. This happens every time. Then, gradually, I wrote one page and then another. I can only permit myself to contemplate one day's work and eliminate the possibility of ever finishing. So”

~John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley: In Search of America

We are not talking about crippling anxiety; we are talking about the small feelings that often stop us from taking action.

People may not realize it is anxiety, aka fear and doubt.

Life is hard to understand, and that makes it easier.

~M. Scott Peck

Anxiety creates a tendency to procrastinate if it does:

Stop paying attention to your thought
What’s the worst that can happen
Can I handle it

Accepting anxiety into one’s life instead of always taking a pill is a start to looking at anxiety differently. Taking a pill does work; however, it does not solve the problem.

This may appear contradictory to current messages that anxiety should be “cured.” In some extreme cases, eliminating symptoms may be needed.

You are projecting what’s going to happen. Leo gives the example that when he leaves here today, he won't have any anxiety about getting his car and driving home; he could think about bad things, but they're not likely to happen. The coach mentions, however, that the difference would be the first time you got in a car and drove. You have a lot of anxiety because you haven't had the confidence and the skill yet. And, of course, if you didn't overcome that anxiety, you never drive a car.

Increasing our understanding of anxiety and our discomfort with the unknown can show the function of anxiety as a signal that something important is occurring.

Two women who carried Ativan but never took them;

One had an elevator phobia, and she was taking Ativan to release her anxiety.

The second woman had Ativan, but she wasn’t taking the pills. She keeps the pills in her pocket in case she needs them, like a security, the “Placebo Effect.” “

By looking at anxiety meaningfully, it can reveal things about the state of our lives.

The goal is to use anxiety as information to improve our functioning.

The client had issues with trucks, especially when she saw a truck behind her; she would pull over and let the truck by. When Leo asked her about that, she said that six months earlier, she'd been hit in the rear by a truck. A form of low-level PTSD

Anxiety is an unavoidable dimension of the human experience. The key is to use your anxiety as information to improve functioning.

Sometimes, anxiety is so mild that we don't even notice it; we might say to ourselves, “Oh, I don't feel like doing this or that.” When you get those feelings, it's good to start questioning yourself: Why am I feeling this? What's going on with me?

Engaging in the anxiety and thinking about it can help.

It is how we respond to anxiety that matters most. Our response influences whether and how anxiety may be meaningfully used to learn about oneself and become more effective in your life and work.

Attempts to deny anxiety or push it aside can result in a great deal of problems that we experience today, such as violence and over-consumption, which are typical of current ideas.

We can become overwhelmed with anxiety because we refuse to face and deal with it. Engaging with anx

Email: dennis@drdecision&coach.com

#success #procrastination # confidence # Personal development #habit #consistency