116. Journal Your Way to Clarity: Part 2a - Relationships

Explicit content warning

01/30/23 • 27 min

We continue with a special series of exercises that will be our focus over the coming weeks. With each podcast, I’ll examine one of the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal: career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose.

Journaling is one of the most powerful tools we have for gaining clarity and understanding of ourselves, which in turn, helps us advocate for ourselves, create space when we need it, and engage in constructive conversations that otherwise might feel overwhelming.

This episode is the first of a two-part look at relationships. It’s where 90% of sessions start with my new clients. People want to talk about heartache, frustration, or anger with regard to their partner or someone else in their life—but ultimately, discussion of the relationship reveals work that needs to be done by the individual. And that’s okay; it’s a good place to start.

We want to be seen and heard and we want other people to be there for us, but we need clarity on what “being there” looks like. So, when journaling about relationships, start with the following prompts:

What do I really feel?
What do I really want?
How can I satisfy that for myself with some small action?

It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for this series of exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, if you do use the journal, you can lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems that, along with these podcasts, will help you move past the blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.

THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

BOOKS I’M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):

Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881
Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy - https://www.goodinside.com/book/
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron - https://juliacameronlive.com/books-by-julia/

CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

What do I really feel?
What do I really want?
How can I satisfy that for myself with some small action?

THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

BOOKS I’M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):

Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881
Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy - https://www.goodinside.com/book/
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron - https://juliacameronlive.com/books-by-julia/

CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

Previous Episode

115. Journal Your Way to Clarity: Part 1 - Career

I am excited to announce a very special series of exercises that will be our focus over the next seven to nine weeks. With each podcast, I’ll examine one of the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal: career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose. Whether you’re experienced at journaling or brand new to it, I encourage you to take advantage of these guided exercises to explore the seven themes in your life.

Journaling is one of the most powerful tools we have for gaining clarity and understanding. Understanding is empowering and freeing—it helps us advocate for ourselves, create space when we need it, and engage in constructive conversations that otherwise might be overwhelming.

It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for these exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, I recommend that you lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal. Along with this series of podcasts, they will help you move past that blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.

Get a copy of THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

In this episode, we begin our series with a discussion of “career” because people tend to have a lot of unconscious bias, complicated feelings, and self-identity wrapped up in their careers. So it’s worth examining how we perceive its value and its effect on us. Additionally, there is a unique emotional tension for women who choose to leave their careers to raise children. Within that context, we ask these questions about career to get your journaling juices flowing:

How do I know which internal voice to listen to when one is telling me to rest and another is pushing me to do that thing that seems so important?
When meeting someone and introducing myself, how quickly does my career come up? Or, conversely, do I avoid talking about my work?
When I receive criticism, how do I react? How long do I dwell on the feedback?
Do I start most weeks feeling some level of dread or enthusiasm about the week?

Thanks for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

BOOKS I’M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):

The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881

Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey - https://thenapministry.com/

Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804

CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Next Episode

117. Journal Your Way to Clarity: Part 2b - Relationships

Our special series focusing on the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal continues with the second in a two-part discussion of relationships. This is a big topic that can include communication, boundaries, trauma, pleasure, needs identification, and more. But, here, I want to zero in on two specific concepts that I’ve found to be invaluable for myself and my clients—and I’m confident they will help you make the most of your journaling:

Relationships are like mirrors
The relationship fear loop

Working through relationship “stuff” can take many forms and journaling can be one of our most effective tools. That’s why I recommend it to almost everyone! In the case of relationships, we’re able to learn a great deal about ourselves by examining how we feel about, how we treat, and how we respond to others.

If you’re new to the series, it’s not too late to catch up. I am devoting the first podcast episodes of this year to a guided discussion of career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose—the major themes from The Treasured Journal. The series is designed to expand your ability to understand the role and influence these themes occupy in your life.

It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for this series of exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, if you do use the journal, you can lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems that, along with these podcasts, will help you move past the blank page. You can get the journal and the companion meditation guide at this link:

THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

Thank you for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.