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Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha - Sexless Marriage? Why Intimacy Fades & How to Reignite It

Sexless Marriage? Why Intimacy Fades & How to Reignite It

05/15/25 • 34 min

Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha

Send us a text

Feeling the chill in your marriage bedroom? You're not alone. In this raw and honest episode, Ken and Tabatha break down the walls of silence surrounding sexless marriages, offering hope and practical wisdom from their 25-year journey together.
Marriage isn't always sexy – especially when life throws curveballs like career stress, parenting demands, health challenges, and aging bodies into the mix. After navigating breast cancer, menopause, and the everyday complexities of long-term commitment, Ken and Tabatha share how they've maintained a vibrant intimate connection despite the obstacles.
"When you're not in the mood" becomes more than just an occasional state – for many couples, it evolves into a persistent pattern that threatens the marriage foundation. The hosts challenge listeners to examine whether they've settled for less than God's design for marital intimacy, offering a biblical framework from 1 Corinthians 7 that reframes sex as both a privilege and responsibility within marriage.
Through candid conversation, they address common barriers to physical connection: exhaustion, body image issues, medical challenges, and the subtle ways couples begin prioritizing everything except their intimate life. Tabitha specifically speaks to women about recognizing and embracing their own sexual desires rather than viewing intimacy solely as meeting their husband's needs.
This conversation goes beyond bedroom techniques to address the heart issues that lead to sexual disconnection. Whether you're struggling with mismatched sex drives, physical limitations, or simply finding yourself in a pattern of rejection and resentment, this episode offers a pathway back to the intimate connection you once shared.
Ready to turn up the heat in your marriage? Listen now, and be sure to catch part two of this essential conversation about making Christian married sex great again.

GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:
Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)
Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)
DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888
Support Our Ministry:
https://myalivechurch.org/give
Connect with us:
- Website:
https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org
- Socials:
Instagram -
https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/
TikTok-
@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch
Facebook-
https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch
- Ask us questions:
[email protected]

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Send us a text

Feeling the chill in your marriage bedroom? You're not alone. In this raw and honest episode, Ken and Tabatha break down the walls of silence surrounding sexless marriages, offering hope and practical wisdom from their 25-year journey together.
Marriage isn't always sexy – especially when life throws curveballs like career stress, parenting demands, health challenges, and aging bodies into the mix. After navigating breast cancer, menopause, and the everyday complexities of long-term commitment, Ken and Tabatha share how they've maintained a vibrant intimate connection despite the obstacles.
"When you're not in the mood" becomes more than just an occasional state – for many couples, it evolves into a persistent pattern that threatens the marriage foundation. The hosts challenge listeners to examine whether they've settled for less than God's design for marital intimacy, offering a biblical framework from 1 Corinthians 7 that reframes sex as both a privilege and responsibility within marriage.
Through candid conversation, they address common barriers to physical connection: exhaustion, body image issues, medical challenges, and the subtle ways couples begin prioritizing everything except their intimate life. Tabitha specifically speaks to women about recognizing and embracing their own sexual desires rather than viewing intimacy solely as meeting their husband's needs.
This conversation goes beyond bedroom techniques to address the heart issues that lead to sexual disconnection. Whether you're struggling with mismatched sex drives, physical limitations, or simply finding yourself in a pattern of rejection and resentment, this episode offers a pathway back to the intimate connection you once shared.
Ready to turn up the heat in your marriage? Listen now, and be sure to catch part two of this essential conversation about making Christian married sex great again.

GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:
Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)
Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)
DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888
Support Our Ministry:
https://myalivechurch.org/give
Connect with us:
- Website:
https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org
- Socials:
Instagram -
https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/
TikTok-
@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch
Facebook-
https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch
- Ask us questions:
[email protected]

Previous Episode

undefined - How to help your depressed spouse? Practical tips for tough times

How to help your depressed spouse? Practical tips for tough times

Send us a text

The crushing weight of depression doesn't just affect the person diagnosed—it transforms marriages, reshaping how partners interact and survive together. Having walked this path ourselves, we're pulling back the curtain on what it truly takes to support a spouse battling the darkness of depression.
Tabatha shares her 12-year journey through severe depression that began in childhood following her father's death and experiences with abuse. The physical manifestations—debilitating migraines, panic attacks, insomnia—became as real as the emotional pain. Yet after finding spiritual healing at 24, she's experienced over two decades of complete freedom from these symptoms.
"Depression isn't occasional sadness—it's getting stuck, becoming debilitated by it," Tabatha explains. "It's not something you can simply snap out of." This misunderstanding often leads to shame and isolation for those suffering.
Ken reveals his own unexpected battle with depression following church leadership challenges and betrayal from those close to him. During this dark season, Tabatha became his bridge to healing—not by forcing him out of depression, but by supporting his vision when he couldn't see it himself, gathering resources to help him move forward, and giving him space when needed.
We explore the powerful connection between unforgiveness and depression, sharing how forgiveness became the key that unlocked Tabitha's healing. The spiritual dimensions of depression often go unaddressed in clinical settings, yet we've witnessed countless breakthroughs when both spiritual and natural interventions work together.
For those supporting a depressed spouse: speak life, not criticism. Understand their root struggles. Take spiritual authority over the situation while addressing practical needs. Build your own support system so you don't become depleted. And never stop believing that complete healing is possible—because we've lived it.
If depression has invaded your marriage, join us for this episode filled with hope, practical wisdom, and the promise that depression doesn't have to be a life sentence. Your breakthrough might be closer than you think.

GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:
Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)
Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)
DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888
Support Our Ministry:
https://myalivechurch.org/give
Connect with us:
- Website:
https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org
- Socials:
Instagram -
https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/
TikTok-
@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch
Facebook-
https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch
- Ask us questions:
[email protected]

Next Episode

undefined - Burnout: Letting go of the fear of burnout

Burnout: Letting go of the fear of burnout

Send us a text

The phrase "burnout" has become a buzzword, almost a badge of honor in some circles, but what if our fear of burnout is actually preventing us from discovering our true potential? In this eye-opening conversation, we challenge the prevailing narrative around burnout and offer a fresh perspective on stress, capacity, and growth.
Drawing from personal experiences, we distinguish between genuine burnout—characterized by emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion—and the increasingly common fear of pushing ourselves too hard. This distinction matters profoundly. When we're so afraid of burnout that we back away from our limits, we never discover our ceiling, which means we can never raise it.
Think about building muscle. Growth happens when you push slightly beyond your comfort zone. The same principle applies to life capacity. We share the powerful "one more principle"—doing just one more rep, making one more call, having one more difficult conversation—which creates the stress needed for expansion. Your ceiling must become your floor if you want meaningful growth.
For those genuinely experiencing burnout, we provide practical strategies: recognizing that rest is holy (not lazy), implementing delegation, making small adjustments to daily habits, prioritizing physical health, and helping others. We outline five key approaches to overcoming burnout fear: seeking mentorship, identifying your current capacity and committing to grow it, differentiating between actual burnout and fear of hard work, developing an "I can" mentality, and breaking up with fear.
The freedom comes not from avoiding stress but from building the capacity to handle more without being overwhelmed. This requires finding your limit, pressing against it, and allowing that threshold to expand. Rather than living in fear, choose to walk by faith—embracing the growth that comes through pressing your limits while maintaining wisdom about true self-care.
What's your ceiling? And are you ready to raise it?

GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:
Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)
Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)
DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888
Support Our Ministry:
https://myalivechurch.org/give
Connect with us:
- Website:
https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org
- Socials:
Instagram -
https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/
TikTok-
@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch
Facebook-
https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch
- Ask us questions:
[email protected]

Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha - Sexless Marriage? Why Intimacy Fades & How to Reignite It

Transcript

Speaker 1

But we're pumped for today . Today's episode is entitled Saving the Sexless Marriage . Wow ,

Speaker 1

what to do when you're not in the mood ? All right , and I'm gonna give you a few disclaimers today , if you don't mind . If you are not currently married , this might not be the episode for you Now . You can hold on if you want to , but we'

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