Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter Maestrey

Say hello to Matt Kostel, the kid from Queens that moved to Brooklyn shares his story of what happened and the harsh realities of getting a divorce, his process and how he created pure gold. He begins by sharing that his first six months were some of his most honest moments and ends with how he thought having kids would make it better.

He talks about how he sat on his hands and swallowed his pride, and then takes responsibility for how he got there. Sharing about the ripple effect of how things filtered through him onto others and how he was trying to be somebody for somebody else. Matt’s interview is a great representation of what it looks like when you stay with someone knowing you have not been happy, then something happens and you choose you again.

In this episode, I look back at when this started, what happened, and where am I today. Taking in the many conversations that have occurred and how things have grown and developed as a result of this podcast. In looking back, one begins to ask themself where is the finish line, did it serve its purpose, and is it time to pass on the torch.

The process of podcasting has been filled with lots of space to understand, forgive, and create new ways of being that allow a more fulfilled and self-expressed version of myself to come alive. Now, at almost 200 episodes and over 30 conversations with the most amazing people. A new adventure is on the horizon

In this episode we explore what it looks like to be hard on yourself, what it looks like and some examples from my own personal life. What happened to me and how I handled it successfully. Looking at it from the perspective of what to do, how to stop it, or at least understand it.

In this episode, Segev shares how uncomfortable it is to go against the grain, to risk self-expression. How within his life he has maneuvered to gain acceptance and love out of others expectations. He speaks about how much he cried during his first six months and how he grew to love the process.

In this last episode with Dawn Alyse, we talk about what she wants for herself, where she has set limits, and what she doesn’t want to be known for. From the time we began this conversation with Dawn till this very last episode, we learned so much about her, but nothing will prepare you for what she reveals at the end of episode 27.6.

As a listener, like you, I learned about Dawn. Her story, who she is, and most importantly who she wants to be. For the first time, like you, I heard about her ex, her business employees, and what it was like to acclimate into her very own skin after divorce. For the first time, I found myself listening to an episode more than once. Some of her episodes, I chose to listen to several times in order to better understand the severity of what I was privy to have heard. This episode is one of those. I couldn’t understand why someone would want to run away from family, a business, and the very thing she most desires.

Dawn discovers something for herself in this episode, and we are there as an audience to witness it. All of it. Her silence, her discovery, and the moment that the seed was planted. The seed of hope. As I watched it again and again, the moment became clearer and clearer. The moment when someone sees that something they thought was too far to reach becomes close enough to hold. The moment when we give up the story of “this is not possible” for the dream that “this is possible”.

We are there, front row, in the theater of what is Dawn's life. Watching the biggest breakthrough someone could have for themselves. Them choosing to face the fear. To move in a direction towards what they want, and not away from it.

But if you think you will understand what I am writing, or grasp all of it by just hearing this one episode. I want to invite you to consider, that, it is not possible. Like life, there are no shortcuts. So, go back and listen to the entire story, starting at 27.1. Know who this woman is, and what she went through, so you can understand why the very last minutes of this conversation are so profound.

We are all experiencing different versions of the same story in this life. Some choose to face them sooner than others, but those that face it, like Dawn, and share their victories, as well as, their defeats. They reveal doors. Those doors are the fears we could face. To move through them we must choose to open them, and most times that means we must endure things we much rather forget, or not stir up.

But, it is only when you have a choice, that you can choose. It is only when you become aware that something is missing, that you will search for it. So when you are ready, make your choice. Not a second sooner. I hope you enjoy Dawn's story, I did.

Wherever you are emotionally when you hear this episode, know that it is perfect. You are perfect. Know that you are not broken, and that nothing needs to be fixed. Take solace in knowing that other before you have managed, and that so will you.

BE Courageous.

BE Vulnerable.

It makes a difference.