Divorce, Healthy! - Female Divorce Attorneys Talk Collaborative Divorce and the Effective Modeling of Conflict Resolution Created for Children and Parents

Female Divorce Attorneys Talk Collaborative Divorce and the Effective Modeling of Conflict Resolution Created for Children and Parents

09/06/22 • 39 min

For decades, the family court system has done a poor job of showing children how to handle conflict and strife. In North Carolina, three women have set out to be generational chain breakers, modeling positive and effective communication through conflict resolution.

On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, host Ashley-Nicole Russell speaks with collaborative law attorneys Robin Mermans, owner of Road to Resolution, and Irene King, founder of King Collaborative Family Law. The trio delve into the significance of collaborative practices and the future of divorce law in general.

Each attorney discusses her own tumultuous path with divorce and court proceedings that led them to study, pursue, and practice collaborative law. They all agree that collaborative practices don’t just help the separating couple remain civil, but also demonstrates to children and family circles how divorce can be handled with mutual understanding.

“A divorce can be a way that you're able to move forward in a positive nature and in a healthy way for your family,” said Ashley-Nicole. “It can still be handled with respect. And I think that the respect aspect is such a large piece of this.”

Tune in to this episode of Divorce, Healthy! with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC.

💡 Featured Guest 💡

Name: Robin M. Mermans

What she does: Robin is an attorney, who runs Road to Resolution — Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Family Law in North Carolina. After going through her own relatively amicable divorce, Robin left her job at a Fortune 500 company to pursue law school and practice collaborative mediation.

Words of wisdom: “Once I learned about collaborative [law], I was hooked. It was exactly what I was looking for. Two parties still have attorneys, so you're not in that unlawful-practice-of-law landscape. You're problem-solving, and helping people, ideally, close the chapter and start a new one in a healthy manner.”

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Name: Irene King

What she does: Irene is the founder of King Collaborative Family Law. She found her way to collaborative law after decades of suiting up as a gladiator in family law each day and seeing families fall apart.

Words of wisdom: “We can do really amazing things for families by keeping them out of the courtroom. We can keep them talking. We can ensure that their next chapter will be a viable one for the family, even if they have to reframe the way that they look as they move forward with their lives. It's completely possible.”

Connect: Website | LinkedIn | Email

Connect with ANR Law

⭐ To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to www.anrlaw.com.

⭐ You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw.

⭐ Divorce Lawyer Ashley-Nicole Russell has law offices serving clients in Greenville, Raleigh, and Beaufort, North Carolina.

⭐ Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy! Subscribe in your preferred podcast app.

Tune in to this episode of Divorce, Healthy! with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC.

💡 Featured Guest 💡

Name: Robin M. Mermans

Connect: Website | LinkedIn | Facebook

Name: Irene King

Connect: Website | LinkedIn | Email

Connect with ANR Law

⭐ You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw.

⭐ Divorce Lawyer Ashley-Nicole Russell has law offices serving clients in Greenville, Raleigh, and Beaufort, North Carolina.

⭐ Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy! Subscribe in your preferred podcast app.

Previous Episode

Why Collaborative Is the Most Effective Method for a Healthy Divorce With IACP President Lori Gephart

In this season of the Divorce, Healthy! podcast, we’re diving deep into the collaborative process. From mediation, to co-parenting, to top-notch resources for demystifying collaborative practice, this season is going to cover all corners of collaboration to help navigate divorce.

Divorce can be a nightmare for all parties involved. That’s why Lori Gephart, President of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), is on a mission to share the benefits of collaborative practice.

There’s a great deal of fear and emotions that come with divorce. There are legal, financial, and emotional burdens that weigh down the people involved. Not only that, but many children face psychological issues after the process, often developing an ingrained fear of divorce. So what can people do to mitigate fear, find better co-parenting options, and foster a healthier, smoother process?

This is where Collaborative comes into play. Collaborative practice is a healthier alternative to litigation. It promotes communication, builds on empathy, and works toward a shared goal. It also lowers conflict and addresses common fears that occur in the process. Lori says that “when fear walks into the room, we talk about what’s important to you.”

So, how can you get involved in Collaborative practice? Through webinars, resources, conferences, and a global network of professionals, the IACP is educating people on the impact of Collaborative practice and why it’s so important.

If you’re going through a divorce, the IACP can help you find mediation professionals in your area (like those at ANR Law) who can coach you through the process. If you’re a professional in the Collaborative space, you can become a member of the IACP and gain access to a vast network that is always willing to learn, teach, and work together.

On this episode of Divorce, Healthy! host Ashley-Nicole sits down with Lori to talk about Collaborative practice and how it can foster a healthy divorce process.

Tune in to this episode of Divorce, Healthy! with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC.

💡 Featured Guest 💡

Name: Lori Gephart

What she does: Lori Gephart is a collaborative divorce coach, licensed psychologist, and the President of North Hills Psychological Associates, which is the first collaborative practice east of Raleigh. Lori was the first collaborative attorney to start directly out of law school in North Carolina, having studied under the first collaborative attorney in the state during law school. Now, she helps families separate and divorce without going to court for a healthier, more respectful divorce. Lori also started training with the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) in 2011, eventually moving up to her current role as President.

Words of Wisdom: “I do this work because I believe that it's healthier for children and families.”

Connect with ANR Law

⭐ You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw.

⭐ Divorce Lawyer Ashley-Nicole Russell has law offices serving clients in Greenville, Raleigh, and Beaufort, North Carolina.

⭐ Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy! Subscribe in your preferred podcast app.

Next Episode

Mindfulness in Divorce- Can You Heal After Divorce? Or Grow From It? With Expert Guest Eranda Jayawickreme on Post Traumatic Growth

Ashley-Nicole Russell, Esq believes that mindfulness during divorce can make all the difference in how and what process is chosen and thus will affect the result. Her guest Eranda Jayawickreme applies his research in post-traumatic growth to illustrate divorce as a result and not a one-time action. As a psychologist and researcher, Eranda uses his work to show that divorce is not an isolated incident but an outcome of a long process.

On this episode of Divorce! Healthy, Ashley-Nicole and Eranda walk through the cycle of divorce, how it impacts everyone differently, and what we can learn about our divorce process from our childhoods. Eranda dives deeper into collaborative versus litigation approaches and whether one event can define who you are today or will be tomorrow.

“One reason why people struggle with divorce is that they may have had a childhood or they may have had prior life experiences that don’t necessarily give them the tools to help navigate complex problems successfully,” Eranda says.

“The secondary control that you can put in place is of how you're dealing with the situation, finding a resource that won't amp up the animosity between you trying to protect your own mindset so you can protect your children”, Ashley-Nicole says.

As the cycle of divorce continues, it can be easy to give into building tensions but by being mindful of the end goal, that each party involved receives what is fair. This tension and giving into animosity can lead to heightened anxiety, depression, and can take a harsh toll on your overall mental health. It’s important that in situations where it’s possible, to choose a collaborative approach during the divorce process. Collaborative between the divorcing parties can ease future decisions such as child custody and settlement negotiation. Awareness of yourself, of children, family, and others that are affected in the divorce process will help this difficult time pass more easily.

💡 Featured Guest 💡

Name: Eranda Jayawickreme

What he does: Eranda received his Ph.D. in positive and social/personality psychology from the University of Pennsylvania in 2010. He is Harold W. Tribble Professor of Psychology at Wake Forest University, and he conducts ongoing research on integrating philosophy and psychology, with an acute focus on post-traumatic growth. Eranda is involved in several projects monitoring the possibilities to strengthen character following adversity, challenge, or failure and the integrative theories of personality.

Words of wisdom: “I do think, when you go to the experience of ending a marriage, it is an opportunity for you to step back and reflect on what you think you've done, how you think you're behaved well, ways in which you think you could do better.”

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