Why Uncertainty Fuels Conflict (And 4 Divorce Coaching Strategies)

11/15/23 • 22 min

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

In last week's episode, we talked about why people resist change and did a quick review of the 5 SCARF domains - status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. Today, we want to dive deep into the domain of certainty and discuss how uncertainty impacts both resistance to change and conflict.

We consistently see a perfect storm of someone’s tolerance for risk, their resilience and their emotional intelligence come together to either weather the uncertainty and changes that divorce brings or create more waves by feeling afraid and resisting them.
To the human mind, uncertainty equals danger. If your brain doesn't know what’s coming next, it can’t protect you. So it has a tendency to assume the worst, over-personalize threats, and jump to conclusions. Did you know that our brains find psychological uncertainty just as (if not more) painful than actual physical pain?
We crave certainty and safety. No wonder the uncertainty of divorce has the potential to create so much chaos.
We discuss the results of scientific studies as well as research with elite athletes and then share 4 coaching strategies and some powerful questions to use with clients struggling with uncertainty.
Our role is to support clients in their resilience, their decision making, and their emotional management so they are in the best possible position possible to deal with the almost guaranteed uncertainty that comes along with divorce and co-parenting.

Learn more about DCATM or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Nov TED Talk Discussion Group: Sign Up Here
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Previous Episode

When Divorce Changes Seem Too Hard: Working Through Client Resistance

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

In this episode, we’re talking about working with those clients whose resistance to change is creating obstacles to negotiation and could potentially be escalating conflict. And resistance to the inevitable changes that divorce brings can cause everything from avoidant behaviors to decision making that’s downright destructive.
As divorce coaches, helping clients examine and dismantle that resistance can go a long way toward creating a more collaborative divorce and co-parenting environment.
We talk about how people typically cope with and react to change, what resistance really is, common resistance patterns, and how it shows up in divorce and co-parenting. Then we review the #1 tool you can use to help clients bust through the resistance that's keeping them stuck.
When we help clients gain clarity about the reasons behind their own resistance to change, we open up possibilities for growth.
Learn more about DCATM or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Next Episode

Behind the Scenes at the DCA Podcast

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

It’s Thanksgiving and we’re so thankful for all of you who take the time to listen each week. We thought it might be a great opportunity for you to get to know us a little better and get a sneak peek behind the scenes at the DCA podcast.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk (and laugh) about:

how they record the podcast each week
why they started the podcast
what brought them to the profession of divorce coaching
their proudest achievements
their personal obsessions
the first time they met in person
who they'd love to collaborate with and why
their dream podcast guest

We had a ton of fun recording this and hope you enjoy this more personal view into the people behind the microphones.
Have an idea for a future topic or episode? We'd love to hear from you.
Learn more about DCATM or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]