Avoiding Emotional Contagion: Protecting Yourself From Prickly People

01/24/24 • 23 min

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This week we had a great networking event where we discussed the popular TED Talk, "How to avoid catching prickly emotions from other people". Did you know there's a cactus nicknamed the "jumping cholla" for it's tendency to seemingly shoot cactus spines into unsuspecting passersby?
The same thing can happen when we get too close to people having big emotions. When a spouse or co-parent is angry, hostile or negative, we can get hurt if we catch those feelings from them. Today we’re going to give you and your clients some information and tools to avoid this “jumping cholla effect” or what we call emotional contagion.
First we dig into how emotional contagion happens, where emotion comes from and how to work with clients to raise awareness about how their beliefs, expectations and even physical symptoms can contribute to this process.
Then we offer some strategies we call "bubble wrap" to provide protection from any pricks that might be flying your way. These include understanding mirror neurons; cognitive reappraisal; "OK, So what, Now What"; and of course, boundaries.

Here’s to staying safe out there.
Watch the TED Talk: Catching Prickly Emotions
Find a DCA® Divorce Coach: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/coach-locator
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Previous Episode

Setting Effective Boundaries With a Narcissist or High Conflict Person

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No doubt we've have all seen some pretty shady characters pull some pretty shady tricks in divorce and co-parenting. There are people in this world that get off on hurting others - the more you hurt, the happier they are. It’s sad to think that people like this exist, but wishing and hoping they were different doesn’t solve the problem. There’s still a settlement agreement to negotiate or years of co-parenting ahead.
This week we're talking about helping clients take control wherever possible to protect their own safety and their own peace. And that means we’re going to be talking about boundaries - making decisions and taking actions that shield them from harm and keep them moving toward their goals.
We run through a little role play to demonstrate the difference between effective and ineffective boundaries. Then we discuss the two things that typically keep clients from acting to set good boundaries (fear and values conflicts) and provide a 4-step process for working through those with them.
Remember that boundaries are an action, not an ask. So when clients are struggling with the behavior of others, our job is to help them determine what options they have that do not rely on their spouse or co-parent’s agreement or compliance. That’s where their power, peace, and safety lie.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Next Episode

5 Moves To Try When Mediation Feels Hopeless

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No one likes feeling hopeless and most clients who choose mediation are desperate to avoid the cost and stress of a trial, but how can we help when they feel like it's not going well and they're running out of options? Today we’re going to give you and your client some proven strategies to try when they’re feeling hopeless in their mediation process.
We start with differentiating between making a wish and having hope. While we often say "I hope this or that happens", we mean we are wishing it will happen because hope involves taking action toward a goal, while a wish is out of your control. And that's the great news...high hope people understand that taking action and problem solving not only gets them closer to their desired outcome, but also increases hope.
We talk through 5 strategies you can use with clients when they feel frustrated, stalled or ready to give up in mediation and give you an example of a client who used these tools to make an informed, intentional decision in her mediation process.
If you'd like to learn more and specialize in supporting clients in mediation, please join our next session of Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach Training beginning Feb 5.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]