Michael Ellsberg on The Power of Eye Contact in Business, Love and Life

Michael Ellsberg shares his story of the shift to enlightenment about the power of eye contact at a networking party. He describes Eye Gazing parties and why they are so hot, intimate and connective.We cover ways to enhance your love life, your sales success and your public speaking using specific eye contact strategies including "relational presence," "Touch Turn Talk," and the value of starting with silent audience connection.We then segue to "eye intimidation," or what I like to laughingly call, "the mother death stare." You can experience the raw power of this dominating strategy by watching Mixed Martial Arts staredowns on YouTube.Then we get into LOVE - "eye contact and intimacy are involved in the dance of co-causality." Michael shares the value of doing eye gazing with your lover and how to ignite the "loop of awareness." And we discover how eye contact can help us dissolve into ecstatic states where you let of of ego and judgment and reconnect with your own humanity.The show ends with how you can create an eye gazing "experiment" with your lover tonight. Give it a try!More about Michael: Q: What is your plan for yourself 10 years from now? What is your life purpose? (I can answer these both the same way)A: I'm incredibly passionate about writing books. I don't know why I'm drawn to books in particular, over say, blog posts or YouTube videos or DVDs. I've been a passionate reader (of mostly non-fiction) since fifteen, and there's just something magical about non-fiction books for me. My plan/goal is to write a book a year for as long as I can keep chugging. I wrote this last book in 8 months so I know I can do it. I'm already on-track to keep going, as I just got a deal for my next book "Self-Educated Billionaires: Lessons From the World's Most Successful People", which is going to be published by Penguin/Portfolio--and I've started writing it!I feel I was put here on earth to do two things: love my fiancée Jena, and write books that change people's hearts and mindsQ: What is the most outrageous thing you've ever done?A: Tell a woman, on our second date, that I was falling in love with her, and commit to moving across the country to be with her. 2 blissful years later, we're engaged, and about to be married in July!Q: What dark or traumatic event has actually had a beneficial impact on your life?A: I know it's a cliche to say that "cancer is one of the best things that ever happened to me," but I can unequivocally say that my experience getting diagnosed and treated for testicular cancer (during the time I was writing the book) transformed me in a positive way. If it didn't come back (knock on major wood) I'd say without a doubt it was one of the best things that happened to me. It woke me up, made me see how much of my life I was sleepwalking through, made me focus on what I really want to accomplish and give to the world in the short time I'm here. Q: What are the 3 actions you've taken in the last three years that have had the most positive effect on your bank account?A: --Unequivocally, learning sales. Specifically, reading "SPIN Selling" by Neil Rackham. That book doubled my monthly income almost overnight after reading it!--Finding the right business mentor. If you want to accomplish something in life, find someone who's already done it and soak up all their knowledge. My relationship and study with my business mentor Bryan Franklin has transformed my financial/business life. --Connecting with great people. I like the word "connecting" more than "networking" as it feels/sounds less self-interested. Real networking is not about self-interest, it's about giving. But I've also found that what I give comes back hundreds of times over. Finding amazing people and giving all you can to them is the best "investment" you can make as it will come back so many times over. Q: What travel experience changed your life?A: Traveling to Cuba when I was 22, right after college. My 1 month in Cuba changed my life more than any other travel I've ever experienced. People have so many hardships and struggles on that island, yet they have developed this incredible ability to escape from their troubles and elevate themselves through dance and music. In my one month there, I met more people who seemed fundamentally happy than I normally meet in a year in NYC, even though they have it way harder than most people in NYC do. Music and dance is a huge part of that--the passion, the joy, the community, the creative flame they experience regularly through their music and dance keeps a spark going alive through the cultural soul, which I will never forget, and which I still can feel in my veins every day 10 years later.