84: An Insider's Guide to Surrogacy

08/09/18 • 44 min

When it comes to making decisions about your life, family, and children, the only sure thing is to follow your gut and trust your instincts. Many times the path you envision looks nothing like the journey that reality will bring. No one else--not even your doctor--can decide what’s right for you. Today’s show is my personal story of finding and holding to that very last ray of hope, even when I thought all hope was gone.

Previous Episode

83: What Pediatricians Want New Parents to Know

Are you considering which pediatrician you should choose for your child? From personal experience, I know the importance of finding the right pediatrician who will not listen to the outside noise, but who will listen to you and make the best decisions for your child.

Joining me on the show today is Dr. Jennifer Trachtenberg, favorably known as Dr. Jen by her patients. Dr. Jen is a nationally renowned parenting expert, board-certified pediatrician, and has maintained a successful, private practice in New York, New York, at Carnegie Hill Pediatrics for over 20 years. Perhaps Dr. Jen’s greatest accomplishment is being a mother of three children! Listen to today’s show for the information you need to know straight from Dr. Jen.

Show Highlights:

Dr. Jen discusses the importance of finding a pediatrician who will help educate and advise parents in addition to treating children.
Parenting is different for each child because each child is unique in his/her own way.
Dr. Jen advises parents to write down questions for their child’s pediatrician.
Dr. Jen discusses the importance of making safety paramount when it comes to taking care of children.
Dr. Jen shares pertinent information for new mothers regarding feeling overwhelmed after having a baby and caring for it.
Dr. Jen shares the top 2-3 misconceptions new parents have about parenting.
Dr. Jen says children see their parents as role models.
Advice to parents of premature babies is given by Dr. Jen.

Resources:

Pediatrician in Your Pocket, a one of a kind, comprehensive video guide for new parents created by Dr. Jen.

Dr. Jen’s website

Dr. Jen’s Facebook page

Parijat’s book, Pregnancy Brain

Next Episode

85: How to Know It's Time to Stop Trying

How does it feel to watch your dreams fade away? It’s never a good feeling, but what if those dreams involve how many children to have or when to walk away and end your journey to conceive a child? Somehow, this dream cuts deeper than other dreams that may go unfulfilled in your life.

Dr. Maria Rothenburger is a fertility therapist and coach who has been through infertility challenges. Her doctoral research focused on post-traumatic growth as opposed to PTSD. Though she still practices as a psychotherapist, her passion has become fertility coaching, as she uses a four-pronged approach for movement toward optimal fertility.

Episode Highlights:

How she and her husband tried for more than 6 years, going through deep depression, anxiety, and intense marriage struggles
Why they decided the process wasn’t worth the pain and decided to be child-free until changing their minds to pursue adoption
What post-traumatic growth is and how you can recognize it
Why Maria is passionate about growth and uses it in coaching
What is involved in the question: Can we have more children?
Questions to consider if you are wondering if “this journey needs to end”:
- Do the negatives of trying to conceive outweigh the positives?
- Do the positives of stopping outweigh the negatives?
- Are you “talking the talk” but not “walking the walk”?
- Do you spend time obsessing about trying to conceive instead of living life?
- Do you live in a way that isn’t in line with your personality, values, and beliefs?
- Do you feel resentful of the time and energy it takes to try to conceive?
- Do you have a loss of creativity and curiosity around family-building options?
- Do you have a feeling of dread around actually getting pregnant?
The judgment around your gratefulness, happiness, and positivity for every single moment
The acceptance piece and how it brings a healthy response
Recognizing the feelings and making the decision to stop
Realizing you can grow your life in other ways if you choose not to grow your family
How pain and grief can be the impetus for finding joy and gratefulness
Maria’s year-long plan for healing her marriage and finding peace
Maria’s advice to listenters: “Letting go does NOT mean giving up”
The fear and desperation that works against you in creating fertility
How and why we withhold joy and pleasure from ourselves
Re-train your brain to grow new neurotransmitters and synapses
Final words of hope: “Pay INTENTION about listening to yourself and trusting yourself. You already know what to do next, and you just have to tune into it.”