135: Parenting After Loss

01/30/20 • 49 min

Parenting after loss is a topic that comes up frequently in the Delivering Miracles community. People ask what they should do and how they should go on loving the child they have while still feeling the previous loss. This unique kind of grief presents a conundrum in how to handle the intricacies of parenting, and societal pressure certainly plays into how we THINK we should feel. There is most definitely not just ONE right way to navigate this grief into your role as a parent, but there are principles to follow to get through the basics of grief and loss. Let’s talk about it.

Show Highlights:

Talking about loss brings up many issues around grief, which is a topic that our society doesn’t know how to approach [1:23]
Are you STUCK in grief if you find it difficult to move on? [4:28]
Your grief doesn’t disappear with another pregnancy or another baby [8:16]
If you don’t release the grief, it sits in the body and freezes your nervous system [10:09]
When you are parenting through grief, it is the time to call on your support group for help [20:33]
Allow your body to do what it needs to do to feel the grief and then release it [25:50]
Know your grief triggers and avoid them until you know you can allow the waves of grief to complete [27:54]
Your grief experience is a great learning opportunity for your children to develop emotional intelligence and empathy (Don’t shield them from grief!) [30:13]
There is no ONE right way to honor your lost baby, but you must address the underlying fear and do what brings you a sense of peace [33:09]
Your grief can teach your children about the nuances of life; it’s YOUR choice how to let them experience grief [40:32]
You don’t have to figure it all out right now, but you have to lead with what brings you peace, so just start there [43:59]
When you’ve experienced a loss and have anxiety about losing your living children, this is trauma encoded in your body [45:33]
The key is to thaw your nervous system and let the waves of grief come--then you’ll find peace [47:14]
When we do the healing work, we heal the whole family, so make your healing a priority [50:21]
You WILL heal, which means remembering those babies without pain and with choice [51:54]

Resources:

Modern Approach to Grief & Trauma Release Free Webinar http://bit.ly/modappweb

Healing from Grief - http://bit.ly/dmep128

Coping with the loss of a child - http://bit.ly/013dm

Join us in Healing Hearts http://bit.ly/healheartblog

Show Highlights:

Talking about loss brings up many issues around grief, which is a topic that our society doesn’t know how to approach [1:23]
Are you STUCK in grief if you find it difficult to move on? [4:28]
Your grief doesn’t disappear with another pregnancy or another baby [8:16]
If you don’t release the grief, it sits in the body and freezes your nervous system [10:09]
When you are parenting through grief, it is the time to call on your support group for help [20:33]
Allow your body to do what it needs to do to feel the grief and then release it [25:50]
Know your grief triggers and avoid them until you know you can allow the waves of grief to complete [27:54]
Your grief experience is a great learning opportunity for your children to develop emotional intelligence and empathy (Don’t shield them from grief!) [30:13]
There is no ONE right way to honor your lost baby, but you must address the underlying fear and do what brings you a sense of peace [33:09]
Your grief can teach your children about the nuances of life; it’s YOUR choice how to let them experience grief [40:32]
You don’t have to figure it all out right now, but you have to lead with what brings you peace, so just start there [43:59]
When you’ve experienced a loss and have anxiety about losing your living children, this is trauma encoded in your body [45:33]
The key is to thaw your nervous system and let the waves of grief come--then you’ll find peace [47:14]
When we do the healing work, we heal the whole family, so make your healing a priority [50:21]
You WILL heal, which means remembering those babies without pain and with choice [51:54]

Resources:

Modern Approach to Grief & Trauma Release Free Webinar http://bit.ly/modappweb

Healing from Grief - http://bit.ly/dmep128

Coping with the loss of a child - http://bit.ly/013dm

Join us in Healing Hearts http://bit.ly/healheartblog

Previous Episode

134: Why Nervous System Regulation is Essential During Fertility Treatment, a High-Risk Pregnancy and Postpartum

I’m asked frequently why I like to focus on bodywork and nervous system regulation. The simple answer is that I want to know (and I want you to know) not just how to cope, but how to not be affected by the anxiety that comes with life. When you’re affected by trauma, the truth is that not everything gets better with time. Many people misunderstand nervous system regulation, so let’s talk about how this works and how this information can help you in the long run.

Show Highlights:

The truth is that time does NOT heal all wounds [3:57]
My goal is to counter the false beliefs that women are made to believe [6:24]
How the nervous system is the connection between all other systems in the body [6:55]
Why nervous system regulation is necessary in addition to all the other things you’re trying [16:40]
Body-based work is based on recent research and the understanding of neurobiology regarding stress [18:55]
How the things that are possible when you regulate your nervous system feel “like magic” [21:28[
Don’t stop at just coping, but learn to harness the power of your body to relieve the symptoms you have [23:59]
Nervous system regulation: what it is and what it isn’t [24:23]
Being able to regulate your nervous system is especially important in going through infertility, high-risk pregnancy, and preterm delivery [28:22]
Getting started with nervous system regulation means having an awareness of being in your body [33:10]
Biologically, when we have nervous system dysregulation, we cut off what we’re feeling inside [36:40]
We can teach our nervous system to handle stress by being aware of our sensations, being present with them, and allowing them to dissipate [38:35]

Resources:

Modern Approach to Grief & Trauma Release Free Webinar http://bit.ly/modappweb

How the Mind-Body Connection Can Help You Stay Pregnant (a client story) - http://bit.ly/rimahrp

Join us in Healing Hearts http://bit.ly/healheartblog

Work with Me: http://bit.ly/wwmbloghrp

Next Episode

136: What Women Need to Know About Pregnancy Anxiety

Statistics show that approximately 6% of women experience anxiety during pregnancy, but I suspect that the percentage is actually much higher than that. This episode covers pregnancy anxiety, which is something I see a lot in my practice. Many women have questions about this topic, especially since it’s something that is frequently waved off and disregarded by healthcare providers. It’s a topic that’s close to my heart because I see a lot of outdated tools and techniques touted as the solution. The truth is that your physical body holds the key. Let’s jump into pregnancy anxiety together!