Delight Your Marriage

It's hard to discern (or even admit) if we are obsessed.

So here's the definition:

"an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind."

Is your marriage an obsession?

Or is God's will an obsession? (And your marriage is an important part of God's will for you.)

I encourage you to consider what God's will is for you in this next season.

It's all about priorities.

If God is your first priority then everything else falls underneath.

He puts all of our lives into perspective.

Marriage shouldn't put all of our lives in perspective. It must be God first, then we can rightly serve our spouse well.

I want to invite you to rightly obsess over God's will and put marriage in its proper place so that it's healed and somewhat on "autopilot" so you can get on with God's will for your life.

Listen in to understand more about what this means for you.

(I have an exciting announcement included in our conversation today, I'd love for you to hear it!)

Love, Belah

PS - If you're in a really hard place or even a really great place, I encourage you to get on a Clarity Call.

Maybe (as a gent emailed me today) your marriage is a 10, but you feel you need to take this course because YOU need to become the man/woman your spouse needs, then we'd love to help.

delightyourmarriage.com/cc

A recent grad shared: (we try to never reuse testimonial quotes in multiple emails jfyi)

“I've grown a lot spiritually, I had thought that I had always been a pretty good Christian...but realized that I was very selective in when and how I followed God's word. I feel a lot closer to God, and now realize that I can't really do marriage well on my own and truly need Him.

The program was great! It so aligned with what I needed...

If people seem stuck, don't hesitate to push...I know we should take that initiative ourselves but sometimes a spark or catalyst can help.

I really believe in what you're doing...it's the best program out there... and think this program can really help a lot of people."

Learn more at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

This week is the last time to join us in the women’s masterclass!

Go to delightyourmarriage.com/wm to sign up for free!

Or if you’re a husband who wants to know how to invite your wife, go to delightyourmarriage.com/advice

Wondering how to transform your marriage, discover if we can help you and your specific situation by going to delightyourmarriage.com/cc

You may be one who is really good about getting yourself filled up in order to be your best for your spouse.

But for the rest of us, this episode is for you.

I think we know that we cannot give what we do not have.

But that doesn't stop us from trying (and failing often...Oh, how many times I have been there!)

Then my stressed feelings take over and I am not kind or loving to my highest priority human, ehemm, my spouse.

I want to encourage you that God is one who can fill your cup. But you have to discipline yourself and make room for him to renew and refresh you.

Ultimately, your spouse cannot satisfy. God does.

We want to get filled up with him and from that overflow, we bring our best to serving our spouse.

Love,

Belah

PS - How can we help you?

From some people who graduated recently (not married to each other).

Women's program:

Before: There wasn’t peace at home, kids constantly see us arguing, I didn’t want to be at home...My husband was extremely resentful of me. I’ve lost respect for him. Was close to divorce.

After: Impacted everything, it turned everything around. My husband is now loving, patient, caring, and a very present and patient father.

Husband's program:

Before: There were many big marital struggles. Coming in, I knew my wife felt that I was unsafe for her, and that she felt alone and unknown by me. On my end, I felt deeply regretful of marrying her, angry with her, and hopeless to ever have a joyful marriage. I felt totally unattracted to her and trapped.

After: I've seen progress in almost every area. I have grown in my own perspective on my wife. This has stunned me, and given me more hope than I've ever felt. I sincerely have a delight toward her that I've not felt in over a decade.

Wow, I can't begin to think of improving it. It's amazing.

PPS - If you're ready for these changes. Who knows, maybe this'll be you in 3 months?

delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more.

Before she began the Delighted Wife program, Kalee was in a place of deep discouragement. She and her husband, Chris, had been married for eight years, built a beautiful family together, and yet, they felt utterly lost. Their marriage was dissolving, and hopelessness had settled in.

She didn’t see a way out.

But God did.

In His divine intervention, Chris was introduced to the program through a friend who had experienced transformation in his own marriage. Chris took a step of faith, signed up for the program, and invited Kalee to do the same. What she didn’t realize was that the biggest transformation wouldn’t just be in her marriage—it would be in herself.

Kalee entered the program believing that her marriage was the only problem. But as she journeyed through the teachings, she came to see something deeper. She lacked confidence. She didn’t understand her worth. She had been seeking validation in others, rather than allowing God to restore her from the inside out.

Through the program, Kaylee began to see how deeply God loved her, how valuable she was, and how her identity wasn’t defined by the struggles of the past.

And as she changed, so did her marriage.

Kalee and Chris both went through the program separately, which turned out to be a gift. After years of couples’ therapy, they found that what this program allowed them to do was heal separately rather than working together.

Instead of coming at each other with blame, they were each able to focus on their own growth, healing, and the changes they personally needed to make.

The result? A marriage that was once on the brink of destruction was now filled with trust, forgiveness, and connection. The barriers of past hurts were broken down, and they began to see each other through fresh eyes.

Kalee describes it as the first time in years she didn’t feel fear lingering in her mind about the future of their marriage. She and Chris were finally on solid ground, and for the first time in a long time, they had peace.

But this transformation didn’t just stay between Kalee and Chris—it overflowed into their home. Their children, especially their oldest daughter, began to experience the difference.

Their daughter, who had been cautious and unsure about marriage because of what she had witnessed in their home, was now talking about her own future as a wife and mother. In her playtime, she began to play “Mom” and “Wife”, something that Kalee had never seen before.Where once there was tension and uncertainty, now there was joy. She saw her parents in a new light—loving, affectionate, and truly connected.

Maybe you find yourself where Kalee once was. Maybe you feel hopeless, uncertain, and afraid that your marriage won’t survive. But let me encourage you—God is still in the business of restoring marriages. He still brings beauty from ashes. He still makes all things new.

If Kalee’s story resonates with you, I invite you to take a step toward healing. Don’t let fear or hopelessness hold you back. Your marriage can be transformed. Your home can be filled with peace and joy. It starts with taking that first step.

God bless you on your journey.

He is able, and He is faithful.

Love,

Belah & Team

PS - If you're ready to take the step that Kalee made, schedule a free Clarity Call here. Not quite ready for that yet? Take our free online Marital Health Assessment to learn more about the current health of your marriage and next steps to take.

PPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate: "I feel so much more joyful. I have learned how to be playful and silly again...I am growing in my understanding of my value based on Christ's righteousness, not my own accomplishments. My eyes have been opened to many areas where I am Martha instead of Mary...I have so much more hope for the future...We are a more joy-filled family...there is HOPE and we are healing!”

This was originally published a while back--but we highly recommend you listen again as you're praying through and discerning what God has for you in the new season of 2023.

...

I love New Years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though, practically speaking, it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates.

But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will.

So, that's what today's podcast is about--becoming stronger in your vision. It's about realizing that you're going to stand before Jesus and He'll be curious what you did with your days...which lead to weeks...which lead to years, and then decades.

We must be cautious about how we spend our time and spend it in priority to God's will.

I will show you the specific document I have used since 2013 and review at least quarterly to align my life with how I perceive God wants me to live.

I will also discuss the process I use to discern God's will for my life every quarter. I think we need to be considering God's will consistently in our lives and move toward it more and more everyday.

I think you'll love the conversation and I look forward to hearing from you!

Blessings,

Belah

PS If you'd like the free resource I mentioned to help you understand how to love your spouse the way they are craving, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework

PPS If you’d like help in your marriage, you are invited to schedule a free Clarity Call here. This call is invaluable in helping you to examine and evaluate where you currently are in your marriage and whether or not our courses could be helpful to you.

From a Clarity Call participant who decided not to take the course(s)::

“Thank you and thanks for your guys' help. I honestly couldn't have done it without the help of the podcast and just our talk opens my eyes up to what God wants for me and what direction and guidance he is showing me so thank you so so much!”