“Heart Condition” Podcast Movie Review

02/12/19 • 44 min

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Heart Condition (1990; James D. Parriott) – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 32

“We’re about 15 to 20 minutes into the movie. We have seen Denzel and Bob Hoskins at various times hit women, abuse animals and commit hate crimes. These are the heroes of the film.”

In a Dare Daniel Podcast episode that will haunt your ass forever, hosts Daniel Barnes and Corky McDonnell review James D. Parriott’s 1990 supernatural race relations dramedy Heart Condition, starring Bob Hoskins and Denzel Washington.

A casually racist murder-mystery (minus the mystery) that was rejected by both audiences and critics due to its chaotic tone, insipid comedy beats and clunky action scenes set to slap-bass and scat-singing, the incompetence of Heart Condition is made worse by the extreme competence of the slumming lead actors.

Hoskins plays Moony, a maniac cop and Kurt Rambis superfan who unwittingly receives a heart transplant from his recently murdered rival, the bitch-slapping black lawyer Stone (Washington). After the transplant, Moony starts seeing and interacting with Stone’s ghost, who is eager to solve his own murder.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Daniel and Corky “Have a Heart” by discussing alcoholic cats, spectral fanny packs, hip-hop bowling alleys, baby hostages and bathroom flossers, while bemoaning a makeover montage that will never stop.

HEART CONDITION (1990) FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical release date: February 2, 1990

Box office: $4.1 million

Critic scores: 0 on Rotten Tomatoes (34 Audience Score)

This week’s Darer: Gav from the Films on Trial podcast

Why did Gav dare Daniel and Corky to watch Heart Condition? “I’ve been watching a lot of Denzel films recently, and I’ve just discovered this hidden gem. Our mate Denz plays a lawyer who dies. His heart is given to racist cop Bob Hoskins. But it’s not just his heart he receives, as he gets his GHOST as well. The two of them try to work out their racial tensions and attempt to discover who killed Denz. Hilarity ensues, supposedly. This film is painfully awful, but it does feature something that you just don’t get enough of these days in Hollywood: a comedy setpiece featuring a 10-inch dildo!”

IMDB synopsis: “A racist cop receives a heart transplant from a black lawyer he hates, who returns as a ghost to ask the cop to help take down the men who murdered him.”

This week’s referenced movies: Groundhog’s Day; Glory; Who Framed Roger Rabbit?; Collision Course; The Island of Dr. Moreau; Happy Gilmore; Roxanne; The Long Good Friday; Mona Lisa

Ratings for Heart Condition: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

Racist cop Jack Moony stumbles into action

Chub’s death in Happy Gilmore

Music video for Bonnie Raitt’s “Have a Heart”

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https://daredaniel.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/DareDanielE032S01.mp3

Heart Condition (1990; James D. Parriott) – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 32

“We’re about 15 to 20 minutes into the movie. We have seen Denzel and Bob Hoskins at various times hit women, abuse animals and commit hate crimes. These are the heroes of the film.”

HEART CONDITION (1990) FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical release date: February 2, 1990

Box office: $4.1 million

Critic scores: 0 on Rotten Tomatoes (34 Audience Score)

This week’s Darer: Gav from the Films on Trial podcast

IMDB synopsis: “A racist cop receives a heart transplant from a black lawyer he hates, who returns as a ghost to ask the cop to help take down the men who murdered him.”

Ratings for Heart Condition: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

Racist cop Jack Moony stumbles into action

Chub’s death in Happy Gilmore

Music video for Bonnie Raitt’s “Have a Heart”

Previous Episode

Film Podcast – Dare Daniel Mini-Episode 31.5

https://daredaniel.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/DareDanielE031_halfS01.mp3

“It’s time for you to get your big, fat, extra crispy bucket o’ chicken, two-liter Pepsi-Cola-drinking ass out of bed.”

In this heartless mini-episode, podcast hosts Daniel Barnes and Corky McDonnell prepare for next week’s review of Heart Condition, a film that joins Collision Course and Theodore Rex in the Dare Daniel Hall of Casually Racist Buddy Comedies. This 1990 oddity stars Bob Hoskins as a bigoted slob haunted by Denzel Washington, and it was dared to us by Gav at Films on Trial, the popular movie podcast/star chamber.

Inspired by last week’s review of the insipid gangster biopic Gotti, and especially by the terribly cast John Travolta’s terrible performance in the lead role, Daniel and Corky offer their picks for the worst casting in a biopic.

Finally, the hosts read a few of your movie dares, including one from that murderous purple scamp and friend of the show Thanos.

Question of the Week: What is the worst casting in a biopic?

Daniel’s pick: The Hall of Presidents (Robin Williams as Eisenhower; James Marsden as Kennedy; Liev Schreiber as LBJ; John Cusack as Nixon; Alan Rickman as Reagan) in Lee Daniels’ The Butler

Corky’s pick: Penn Badgley as Jeff Buckley in Greetings From Tim Buckley

New Dares: An American Werewolf in Paris (An American Moviewatcher in Paris); The Warrior and the Sorceress (Kevin Cooley); Iron Man 2 (Thanos)

Original theatrical trailer for The Conqueror

Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs in Jobs

The post Film Podcast – Dare Daniel Mini-Episode 31.5 appeared first on Dare Daniel & Canon Fodder Podcasts.

Next Episode

Film Podcast – Dare Daniel Mini-Episode 32.5

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“You had me at Keith David, you lost me at David Keith.”

Get your tease pajamas on for this one!

Notorious teases Daniel Barnes and Corky McDonnell are in a mood to tantalize and titillate in this week’s Dare Daniel Podcast mini-episode. The hosts preview Elaine May’s legendary box office bomb Ishtar, starring Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty as inept songwriters bumbling through the Middle East.

Daniel and Corky also take a look back at their previous review of Heart Condition, which they both agree is “a real piece of shit,” despite the presence of two great actors in the lead roles.

For the Question of the Week, the hosts forgo their usual negativity to spotlight their all-time favorite directors. They also read listener responses to the Best Fight Scenes QOTW from Mini-Episode 30.5.

Elsewhere, the hosts discuss stairwell fights, ethnically ambiguous bad guys and positive portrayals of sanitation workers, while also reading a few of your movie dares.

Question of the Week: Who are your top 5 directors (and what is their best film)?

Daniel’s picks: Charlie Chaplin (City Lights); Vincente Minnelli (The Bad and the Beautiful); Howard Hawks (To Have and Have Not); John Ford (The Searchers); Yasujiro Ozu (Tokyo Story)

Corky’s picks: Billy Wilder (Sunset Blvd.); Wes Anderson (Rushmore); Steven Spielberg (Schindler’s List); Joel and Ethan Coen (Fargo); Alfred Hitchcock (Rear Window)

New Dares: Book of Love (Ben Rice); Men at Work (The Sanitation Workers of America); sequels (Mutt Williams)