Dare Daniel Podcast

Hocus Pocus – Scare Daniel Podcast Episode 121

“Max likes your yabbos.”

Daniel and Corky light a Febreze to clear the air after reviewing Bette Midler in the inexplicably beloved Hocus Pocus. This sloppily written, egregiously unfunny Halloween comedy about three Stooges-esque witches somehow became a beloved holiday tradition.

Elsewhere, Daniel and Corky discuss circus movie fetishes, powdered wig lechery and inconsistent zap magic.

HOCUS POCUS FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical debut: July 16, 1993

Critics scores: 39 on Rotten Tomatoes; 43 on Metacritic

This week’s darer: Allison Kinnear

Allison’s dare: “I watched it for the first time this year and yikes. I know it is a beloved film for many, but since you guys ruined Love Actually for me, I figure you can ruin this streaming turd for others.”

IMDB synopsis: “A curious youngster moves to Salem, where he struggles to fit in before awakening a trio of diabolical witches that were executed in the 17th century.”

This week’s referenced movies: Newsies; High School Musical movies; Michael Jackson’s This Is It; The Wedding Planner; Company Business; The Princess Switch; The Boondock Saints; The Greatest Show on Earth; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Caddyshack; E.T. – The Extra-Terrestrial; Ghost World; American Beauty; Eyes Wide Shut; Barry Lyndon; The Shape of Water; Hellboy; Pan’s Labyrinth; The Wizard of Oz; The Goonies; The Iron Giant; The Big Sleep; Top Gun: Maverick; Spider-Man; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest; Village of the Damned; Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me; The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

Ratings: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Dare

CLIPS AND CLIPPINGS

Theatrical trailer for Hocus Pocus

“I Put a Spell on You”

Max vs. Jay & Ice

“Come Little Children”

The post “Hocus Pocus” Podcast Movie Review appeared first on Dare Daniel & Canon Fodder Podcasts.

Fateful Findings – Best of Dare Daniel Rerun 9

“I can’t believe we’re revisiting Fateful Findings.”

Daniel and Corky uncover the cosmic conspiracy behind Best of Dare Daniel by listlessly pecking at random keys on five broken laptops.

New Dare Daniel episodes will resume in the Spring!

FATEFUL FINDINGS FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. festival premiere: Dec. 8, 2012

This week’s darer: Gunnar Pearson

Gunnar’s dare: “You guys talk about bad movies and every show or podcast that talks about bad movies must at one point review a film by true American auteur Neil Breen. Fateful Findings is a romantic drama . . . I guess? Breen is the writer, director, lead actor, editor, set dresser and about a hundred other things, and he is awful at all of them.”

IMDB synopsis: “A computer-scientist/novelist reunites with his childhood friend, hacks into government databases, and faces the dire and fateful consequences of the mystical actions he obtained as a child.”

This week’s referenced movies: Deadly Attraction; Old Fashioned; The Room; Love on a Leash; Dangerous Men; Rebel without a Cause; Skullduggery; The Goonies; The Long Goodbye; Rawhead Rex; Memento; Fast Times at Ridgemont High; Jeremiah Johnson; The Godfather Part II; JFK

Ratings: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

CLIPS AND CLIPPINGS

Trailer for Fateful Findings

How not to drink coffee

The WTF ending

The post “Fateful Findings” Best of Dare Daniel Podcast appeared first on Dare Daniel & Canon Fodder Podcasts.

Ultraviolet (2006; Kurt Wimmer) – Best of Dare Daniel Rerun 10

Daniel and Corky bravely subject their mind’s eyes to the memory of Milla Jovovich in the retina-shredding Ultraviolet.

ULTRAVIOLET FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical release date: March 3, 2006

Domestic box office: $18.5 million (production budget: $30 million)

Critic scores: 9 on Rotten Tomatoes; 18 on Metacritic

This week’s Darer: Marco Cabodi

Why did Marco dare Daniel and Corky to watch Ultraviolet? “Nonsensical Milla Jovovich action vehicle that alternates between incredibly ambitious and incomprehensibly stupid. It’s an amazing mix of everything being almost not as awful as it is. It’s admirably unwatchable.”

IMDB synopsis: “A beautiful hæmophage infected with a virus that gives her superhuman powers has to protect a boy in a futuristic world, who is thought to be carrying antigens that would destroy all hæmophages.”

This week’s referenced movies: Cutthroat Island; Birth; Equilibrium; Sphere; The Recruit; Law Abiding Citizen; Salt; Total Recall (2012); Point Break (2015); The Matrix franchise; Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Family Reunion; 16 Blocks; Eight Below; Captain Marvel; A Clockwork Orange; Sin City; Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow; Spy Kids franchise; The Spirit; 300; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse; Fargo; I Am Legend; Ronin; Sleepaway Camp; Heat; the Blade franchise; Kill Bill: Vol. 1; Little Shop of Horrors (1986); Gotti; the Resident Evil franchise; The Messenger; Dazed and Confused

Ratings for Ultraviolet: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

RELATED CLIPS

Original theatrical trailer for Ultraviolet

A typically unwatchable fight scene

The unusually unwatchable motorcycle chase scene

The post “Ultraviolet” – Best of Dare Daniel Podcast appeared first on Dare Daniel & Canon Fodder Podcasts.

Heart Condition (1990; James D. Parriott) – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 32

“We’re about 15 to 20 minutes into the movie. We have seen Denzel and Bob Hoskins at various times hit women, abuse animals and commit hate crimes. These are the heroes of the film.”

In a Dare Daniel Podcast episode that will haunt your ass forever, hosts Daniel Barnes and Corky McDonnell review James D. Parriott’s 1990 supernatural race relations dramedy Heart Condition, starring Bob Hoskins and Denzel Washington.

A casually racist murder-mystery (minus the mystery) that was rejected by both audiences and critics due to its chaotic tone, insipid comedy beats and clunky action scenes set to slap-bass and scat-singing, the incompetence of Heart Condition is made worse by the extreme competence of the slumming lead actors.

Hoskins plays Moony, a maniac cop and Kurt Rambis superfan who unwittingly receives a heart transplant from his recently murdered rival, the bitch-slapping black lawyer Stone (Washington). After the transplant, Moony starts seeing and interacting with Stone’s ghost, who is eager to solve his own murder.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Daniel and Corky “Have a Heart” by discussing alcoholic cats, spectral fanny packs, hip-hop bowling alleys, baby hostages and bathroom flossers, while bemoaning a makeover montage that will never stop.

HEART CONDITION (1990) FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical release date: February 2, 1990

Box office: $4.1 million

Critic scores: 0 on Rotten Tomatoes (34 Audience Score)

This week’s Darer: Gav from the Films on Trial podcast

Why did Gav dare Daniel and Corky to watch Heart Condition? “I’ve been watching a lot of Denzel films recently, and I’ve just discovered this hidden gem. Our mate Denz plays a lawyer who dies. His heart is given to racist cop Bob Hoskins. But it’s not just his heart he receives, as he gets his GHOST as well. The two of them try to work out their racial tensions and attempt to discover who killed Denz. Hilarity ensues, supposedly. This film is painfully awful, but it does feature something that you just don’t get enough of these days in Hollywood: a comedy setpiece featuring a 10-inch dildo!”

IMDB synopsis: “A racist cop receives a heart transplant from a black lawyer he hates, who returns as a ghost to ask the cop to help take down the men who murdered him.”

This week’s referenced movies: Groundhog’s Day; Glory; Who Framed Roger Rabbit?; Collision Course; The Island of Dr. Moreau; Happy Gilmore; Roxanne; The Long Good Friday; Mona Lisa

Ratings for Heart Condition: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

RELATED CLIPS

Original theatrical trailer for Heart Condition

Racist cop Jack Moony stumbles into action

Chub’s death in Happy Gilmore

Music video for Bonnie Raitt’s “Have a Heart”

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