Rituals of Childhood and Raising Little Big Personalities | Rob Schiffmann
03/27/18 • 49 min
Today’s guest is Rob Schiffmann, actor, improviser, musician and most importantly - father. Rob and Jonathan grew up together and reminisce about their Tuesday baseball games and what it taught them to be great fathers of their own. They also talk about the unique path Rob had growing up with two great parents and stepparents, and examine the relationship of weekend parenting. Rob now has two daughters and they examine the delicate balance between staying involved and letting your children have space to do their own thing.
Key Takeaways:
[2:07] Jonathan and Rob reminisce about their Tuesday baseball at Plaza Park. One of the staples of the recurring meet-up was watching the dads (and sometimes moms) participating.
[5:33] Rob’s parents went through a divorce, but it resulted in him having two great stepparents, and his parents remaining good friends.
[12:46] Even in his 80’s, Rob’s dad is constantly learning and is very interested in arts, continued education and current events.
[13:25] They explore the dad’s side of having the kids only on the weekend. Both remember the activities way more than the actual homes.
[16:13] Rob’s stepfather Larry was a kind and gentle soul, and did not impose himself on the family, rather he was present and showed love. He credits Larry with helping him develop a gentle approach in life, and isn’t afraid to show his soft side.
[18:36] Rob and his wife Annie have been married for 10 years, and they have two daughters, Abby, age 7 and Penny, age 4. As the dad of two young daughters he laughs a lot, and his daughter Penny loves to take on different characters and role play til her heart’s content. Abby is a great older sister and joins in on all the fun escapades.
[24:40] Rob never thought he would follow in the footsteps of his mother and lick his finger to clean food off his daughters face as it drove him crazy, but now he does it all the time.
[27:49] Staying involved while giving your children room to be themselves and grow and learn on their own is of utmost importance to both Rob and Jonathan.
[31:31] The irony of parenting is that you raise your children as best you can, to have them leave and live their best life on their own.
[38:34] Our kids are little versions of us, so showing them how to communicate, apologize and share their emotions is one of the joys of fatherhood.
[39:33] Watching his own parents interact with his daughters is amazing to Rob. They are engaged grandparents and his children adore them. This is a peek into his own past and he experiences nostalgia remembering his own time with his dad.
[41:12] There is a renaissance of fatherhood now with grandfathers, as things are more open now than when most of us were growing up.
[45:37] You can check out one of the many projects Rob is currently working on at: Broadway’s Next Hit Musical.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Quotes:
- “I scored in the parent and stepparent market. I had two role models and two big influences on who I became as a father and as a man. They paved an interesting and different path.”
- “My dad is intimidatingly intelligent.”
- “I feel like I have these two little pals that I get to take care of. We just have fun.”
- “I don’t care if they are 7 or 47, I never want to blur the lines where I’m just a friend and not their parent. We are here to serve them.”
- “They don’t need to peek through the scenes and see the neurotic dude that I am. They just need me to take care of them.”
Today’s guest is Rob Schiffmann, actor, improviser, musician and most importantly - father. Rob and Jonathan grew up together and reminisce about their Tuesday baseball games and what it taught them to be great fathers of their own. They also talk about the unique path Rob had growing up with two great parents and stepparents, and examine the relationship of weekend parenting. Rob now has two daughters and they examine the delicate balance between staying involved and letting your children have space to do their own thing.
Key Takeaways:
[2:07] Jonathan and Rob reminisce about their Tuesday baseball at Plaza Park. One of the staples of the recurring meet-up was watching the dads (and sometimes moms) participating.
[5:33] Rob’s parents went through a divorce, but it resulted in him having two great stepparents, and his parents remaining good friends.
[12:46] Even in his 80’s, Rob’s dad is constantly learning and is very interested in arts, continued education and current events.
[13:25] They explore the dad’s side of having the kids only on the weekend. Both remember the activities way more than the actual homes.
[16:13] Rob’s stepfather Larry was a kind and gentle soul, and did not impose himself on the family, rather he was present and showed love. He credits Larry with helping him develop a gentle approach in life, and isn’t afraid to show his soft side.
[18:36] Rob and his wife Annie have been married for 10 years, and they have two daughters, Abby, age 7 and Penny, age 4. As the dad of two young daughters he laughs a lot, and his daughter Penny loves to take on different characters and role play til her heart’s content. Abby is a great older sister and joins in on all the fun escapades.
[24:40] Rob never thought he would follow in the footsteps of his mother and lick his finger to clean food off his daughters face as it drove him crazy, but now he does it all the time.
[27:49] Staying involved while giving your children room to be themselves and grow and learn on their own is of utmost importance to both Rob and Jonathan.
[31:31] The irony of parenting is that you raise your children as best you can, to have them leave and live their best life on their own.
[38:34] Our kids are little versions of us, so showing them how to communicate, apologize and share their emotions is one of the joys of fatherhood.
[39:33] Watching his own parents interact with his daughters is amazing to Rob. They are engaged grandparents and his children adore them. This is a peek into his own past and he experiences nostalgia remembering his own time with his dad.
[41:12] There is a renaissance of fatherhood now with grandfathers, as things are more open now than when most of us were growing up.
[45:37] You can check out one of the many projects Rob is currently working on at: Broadway’s Next Hit Musical.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Quotes:
- “I scored in the parent and stepparent market. I had two role models and two big influences on who I became as a father and as a man. They paved an interesting and different path.”
- “My dad is intimidatingly intelligent.”
- “I feel like I have these two little pals that I get to take care of. We just have fun.”
- “I don’t care if they are 7 or 47, I never want to blur the lines where I’m just a friend and not their parent. We are here to serve them.”
- “They don’t need to peek through the scenes and see the neurotic dude that I am. They just need me to take care of them.”
Previous Episode
We’re In This Village Together | Lance Somerfeld
This week’s episode features father of two, husband, and City Dads co-founder Lance Somerfeld. Lance frequently contributes to the conversation about modern fatherhood and has appeared on local and national television, including CNN, Fox News, Today, and Katie. Lance talks about living in New York City as a father, how he went from public school teacher to a stay-at-home dad, the formation, growth, and purpose of City Dads and how they are single-handedly helping thousands of men become more confident and involved fathers.
Key Takeaways:
[1:50] Lance Somerfeld shares the background of how he went from public school teacher to stay-at-home dad. He and co-founder Matt Schneider started City Dads in November 2008 and it has been going strong for 10 years with 34 cities in the U.S. and nearly 11,000 members. They wanted a place for dads to go to feel welcome and able to connect with other fathers and kids in a fun and meaningful way.
[18:02] City Dads works with brands in a long-lasting personal relationship on campaigns and products crafted from the perspective on dads. They have worked with Dove on the messaging for their March Madness NCAA Tournament ad and partnered with Britax to help dads learn all about using car seats correctly.
[24:34] Lance has been married for almost 14 years, and together they have a 9-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter. City Dads not only provides great opportunities for the dads but gives the kids another great group of friends outside of their school.
[34:56] As both an active parent and son, Lance found it interesting to see his dad and stepdad as modern grandfathers as they learn and adapt to the times today.
[39:11] Lance found the biggest challenge of fatherhood early on was learning to navigate a life where you had to plan and saying goodbye to a lot of spontaneity and free personal time!
[43:16] One perk of City Dads is new fathers learning from those who have already been through it and made it out of the other side.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Quotes:
- “Everything I had done during the course of my life, like going to school and college, was preparing me for my career. Nothing that I had done previously ever really prepared me to be a dad.”
- “When I became a parent I couldn’t believe that I had to dictate orders to my parents on how to handle my own child.”
- “I think it’s a very exciting time to be a dad right now, on so many levels.”
Next Episode
Balancing Needs, Staying Open, and Letting them Fly | Craig Johnson
Today’s guest is Craig Johnson, an old camp buddy of Jonathan’s. Craig has an extremely busy and full life; he and his wife Liz have been married for 20 years and are both attorneys. Together they have three children — Ben, 16; Sam, 13; and Lucy, 8. Craig shares the lessons he has learned from coaching his own kids, how his career experience as an attorney, lobbyist, and State Senator has shaped his approach towards parenting, the challenge of balance and enjoyment of his kids’ success and the evolution of Craig’s own father as a grandfather. The guys also admit to being a little overeager when texting their kids, and why they can’t be too upset when there is empty ice cream in the fridge.
Key Takeaways:
[1:24] Jonathan and Craig met at Camp Taconic. Here they learned a lot about independence (for both the children and the parents) and he now sends his own kids to camp.
[3:20] He and his wife Liz have been married for 20 years and he is very grateful for their partnership both as husband and wife and as co-parents. They are both attorneys, with Craig in lobbying and public policy, and Liz in the courtroom as a defense attorney and former prosecutor. And yes, Craig loses all the arguments in the house. Craig was a former State Senator in New York from 2007-2010.
[4:49] Craig and Jonathan both have sons named Ben who are teens learning to drive while terrifying their parents.
[8:37] Craig finds coaching a rewarding experience and found a great way to bond with his kids while taking part in something they love.
[19:16] Both Jonathan and Craig allow their kids to use phones and social media apps, but monitor them to make sure there isn’t any shady business going on. Craig’s wife Liz teaches a class for parents to help them understand and deal with their children using social technology.
[27:35] Bar and Bat Mitzvah season is underway, and while it can get expensive and time-consuming, it’s an amazing accomplishment and Craig is extremely proud of how much his sons’ bar mitzvahs got their family together.
[36:28] Craig’s dad lives in the very same house that he grew up in, only about a mile and a half away. He had the model attitude as a grandfather where he was there if Craig needed him but trusted him to make the right decisions and learn on his own.
[43:31] Craig finds one of the biggest challenges is balancing his dedication to being a father, a husband, and to his career.
[45:02] The best part of parenting for Craig is sharing in their successes, whether it’s something big, such as a sports team win or an everyday moment of them memorizing a vocabulary word.
[51:29] Karma has come back around for all the years that Craig left an empty ice cream container in the fridge, as his kids to that to him now.
[55:47] Both dads are puzzled why their sons don’t have the same rush of getting their driver's license as they did as teens.
[58:52] Craig has a lot of interesting work in his pipeline, including Uber, AirBnB, and cryptocurrency.
[59:42] Craig is extremely appreciative of his wife’s ability to be a stand out counselor, lawyer, and mother. She is a fantastic example of showing his children the importance of work and responsibility.
Links:
Quotes:
- “I’m almost in tears when I drop off my kids at high school! I mean that’s good about us, but what’s wrong with us?!”
- “My son wrote a one-page essay on why he should watch Dexter and I read it and was like ‘okay you could watch it because that was so good.’”
- “We can’t always be there for them, and we have to let them make those mistakes.”
- “They each have different jealousies and different desires and it’s just a moving puzzle that changes every day.”
- “I’ve become a better listener as a parent. You have to listen to your kids and let them talk. They can educate you.”
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