Cultivating H.E.R. Space: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman - S17E3: What Gaslighting, Red Flags, and Manipulation Sound Like

S17E3: What Gaslighting, Red Flags, and Manipulation Sound Like

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01/20/23 • 68 min

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Cultivating H.E.R. Space: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman

Lady, healing isn’t linear, and it doesn’t always feel good, but with tools and strategies, you can navigate life with grace, clarity, and lightness. Dr. Dom and Terri have a deep conversation about the truth of gaslighting, red flags, and manipulation. Maybe you’ve heard these terms recently, but do you really know what they mean? Accessing the language around these pieces of the cycles of abuse can help you create a toolkit that can help you identify them earlier in your relationships. Knowing these terms can also help you identify when you have been the initiator of potentially harmful behavior. Lady, listen to this episode with your journal and a ton of grace and self-compassion. Terri and Dr. Dom clearly lay out the signs so that you can see them early and make decisions from a centered place. If this topic lights up something in you and you want to dig deeper check out these additional episodes:

S8E9: Getting the Relationship You Deserve with Allison Wellington
S10E2: Is Your Partner a Narcissist?
S10E3: How to Finally Leave Your Narcissistic Partner a Conversation with Dr. Ramani Durvasula

Red Flags
1. Gaslighting
2. Lovebombing
3. They don’t respect your boundaries
4. They check in frequently and there's a hint of possessiveness
5. They don't have many friends OR a good relationship with their family (or a relationship with themselves)
6. They want you to prioritize them
7. They try to isolate you and take up all your time and sometimes even bad talk those closest to you
8. You have a bad gut feeling
Quote of the Day: "Gaslighters confuse, intimidate, and disempower people for the purpose of controlling other people, and promoting the abusers' interests."
- Linda Hatch, PhD
Register here for the Vibrate Higher Empowerment Workshop!
Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary
Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC
Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cultivating-h-e-r-space-uplifting-conversations-for-the-black-woman--5470036/support.

S8E9: Getting the Relationship You Deserve with Allison Wellington
S10E2: Is Your Partner a Narcissist?
S10E3: How to Finally Leave Your Narcissistic Partner a Conversation with Dr. Ramani Durvasula

Previous Episode

S17E2: Evolving to Your Next Level with Saman Munir

Hey lady! Is one of your goals this year to lead a more fit life? If the answer is yes, then this episode is for you. If the answer is no, tune in anyway because maybe you’ll find some motivation that has nothing to do with the scale and everything to do with how you feel inside. Saman Munir, a fitness professional with EvolveYou, joins Dr. Dom and Terri for an inspiring conversation about how she turned a passing interest in losing post-partum baby weight into a brand-new lifestyle for herself where strength and feeling good are the top priorities. She offers practical guidance on how she shifted her mindset from scale conscious to strength conscious and shares insightful tidbits about how her modesty makes her feel empowered to be her strongest self. Jumpstart your fitness journey with her tips and check out her social media for quick bite workouts you can do, including on the EvolveYou app. You’ve got this!
Quote of the Day:
"Fall in love with the journey, not the destination!"
- Saman Munir
Where to find Saman Munir:
LinkedIn: Saman Munir
YouTube: @sfm_fitness
Twitter: @makeuphijabs
IG: @sfm_fitness
TikTok: @sfm_fitness
Evolve You App: @evolveyou
Donate: Pakistan Floods Appeal
Register here for the Vibrate Higher Empowerment Workshop!
Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary
Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC
Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cultivating-h-e-r-space-uplifting-conversations-for-the-black-woman--5470036/support.

Next Episode

S17E4: How to Stand Your Ground and Hold Gaslighters Accountable

Last week Dr. Dom and Terri discussed how to identify various forms of manipulation. And, we heard you. It was a much-needed, albeit tender topic, about how we function in our interpersonal relationships. This week, Dr. Dom and Terri move out of the tender area into a place of power by outlining concrete steps you can take to stand 10 toes in who you are as a person and how you want to be treated going forward. Lady, the secret is it all starts with you and how you view and treat yourself. We told you last week and want to remind you to pack a lot of self-compassion and self-forgiveness as you build your confidence muscle in navigating difficult situations with people who may have mal intent. But, there’s hope! Once you master these skills, you’ll be able to walk out and meet life with your head high and your back straight because you trust yourself. It’s hard work to get there, but it’s worth it because you’re worth it! If this episode resonates with you be sure to share it with a friend or sister friend and leave us a 5-star review to let others know that we’re on this journey together and we’ve got you.
Additional Episodes
- S2E3: Why You Might Be Struggling to Gain Confidence
- S8E9: Getting the Relationship You Deserve with Allison Wellington
- S10E2: Is Your Partner a Narcissist?
- S10E3: How to Finally Leave Your Narcissistic Partner a Conversation with Dr. Ramani Durvasula
- S17E5: What Gaslighting, Red Flags, and Manipulation Sound Like
Being in a Relationship with Yourself is Key (Standing Your Ground Begins Within)
1. Trust yourself
2. Create a positive internal dialogue
3. Work on managing emotions
4. Strive for confidence/wholeness
Strategies to Deal with a Gaslighter
1. Listen to their side of the story (take notes if you have to)
2. Ask questions and try to get specifics from them
3. Remain calm and stay silent during their outburst
4. Pull up receipts and proof and call them out
A Few Strategies of Self-Protection
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-games/201904/gaslighting-in-relationships-seven-ways-protect-yourself
Quote of the Day:
“The ways you have learned to survive may not be the ways you wish to continue to live.”
― Thema Bryant
Register here for the Vibrate Higher Empowerment Workshop!
Wisdom Wednesdays with Terri
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary
Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC
Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cultivating-h-e-r-space-uplifting-conversations-for-the-black-woman--5470036/support.