Coparenting Beyond Conflict: Strategies for High-Conflict Divorce and Custody - From Legal Nightmares to Parenting Peace: Lessons from a Divorce Pro with Paulette Rigo

From Legal Nightmares to Parenting Peace: Lessons from a Divorce Pro with Paulette Rigo

04/17/25 • 28 min

Coparenting Beyond Conflict: Strategies for High-Conflict Divorce and Custody

In this episode of Co-Parenting Beyond Conflict, host Sol welcomes Paulette Rigo, founder of Better Divorce Academy, who shares her personal journey through divorce and her transition into divorce coaching. Paulette discusses the common challenges faced by co-parents post-judgment, the importance of effective communication, and the emotional complexities involved in navigating new relationships after divorce. She emphasizes the need for self-reflection and learning from past mistakes to foster healthier co-parenting dynamics and personal growth.
Learn more about Better Divorce Academy at: https://betterdivorceacademy.com/
Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/sj0dMIvOjiM
Keywords
co-parenting, divorce, mediation, parenting plans, emotional well-being, family dynamics, communication, divorce coaching, child development, self-reflection

Takeaways

Paulette Rigo's journey into divorce coaching stemmed from her own challenging experience with divorce.
Co-parents often face emotional and logistical challenges after legal judgments are finalized.
Effective communication is crucial for successful co-parenting, especially when dealing with parenting plans.
Children's adaptability to divorce varies; understanding their perspective is essential.
Self-reflection is key to personal growth and avoiding past mistakes in future relationships.
Divorce is a significant change, not a failure, and should be approached with a growth mindset.
The B-I-F-F method can help manage communication with a difficult co-parent.
Maintaining emotional well-being is vital during and after divorce.
Revisiting parenting plans regularly can help accommodate changing circumstances.
Building a support team, including mental health professionals, can aid in co-parenting success.

Sound Bites
"I believe in love. I believe in marriage."
"The emotional part is a huge shift."
"Divorce is not about blame, it's about change."
"Keep your wits about you."
"The best tool I can teach people is B-I-F-F."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Co-Parenting Challenges
05:14 Paulette's Journey to Divorce Coaching
10:19 Common Co-Parenting Challenges
16:46 Navigating New Relationships and Change
22:44 Learning from Divorce: The Importance of Self-Reflection

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Takeaways

Paulette Rigo's journey into divorce coaching stemmed from her own challenging experience with divorce.
Co-parents often face emotional and logistical challenges after legal judgments are finalized.
Effective communication is crucial for successful co-parenting, especially when dealing with parenting plans.
Children's adaptability to divorce varies; understanding their perspective is essential.
Self-reflection is key to personal growth and avoiding past mistakes in future relationships.
Divorce is a significant change, not a failure, and should be approached with a growth mindset.
The B-I-F-F method can help manage communication with a difficult co-parent.
Maintaining emotional well-being is vital during and after divorce.
Revisiting parenting plans regularly can help accommodate changing circumstances.
Building a support team, including mental health professionals, can aid in co-parenting success.

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Previous Episode

How AI is Changing the Game for Domestic Abuse Survivors with Anne Wintemute

In this conversation, Anne Wintemute, co-founder and CEO of Aimee Says, discusses the complexities of co-parenting in high-conflict situations, particularly for survivors of relationship abuse. She emphasizes the importance of building a support system, navigating post-separation abuse, and effective communication strategies. The discussion also highlights the role of AI in providing accessible support for those dealing with coercive control and the limitations of the family court system in recognizing these dynamics. Wintemute advocates for a shift towards using technology to empower individuals in their co-parenting journeys.

Learn more about Aimee Says at https://aimeesays.com/

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/tsumGIn1xts
Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

co-parenting, relationship abuse, AI support, family court, emotional abuse, support systems, parallel parenting, post-separation, coercive control, mental health

Takeaways

Understanding the complexities of high-conflict co-parenting is crucial.
Post-separation abuse often escalates and requires careful navigation.
Building a support system is essential for mental health during separation.
Isolation can be detrimental; companionship is vital.
Effective communication is key in co-parenting relationships.
AI can provide instant support and resources for those in need.
The family court system often fails to recognize coercive control.
It's important to strategize before entering the legal system.
AI can help individuals regain agency and autonomy in their situations.
Radical acceptance of uncontrollable factors can aid in healing.

Sound Bites

"Isolation is the number one mental health killer."

"You cannot fight fire with fire."

"The system will be there to support me."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Anne Wintemute

00:34 Understanding Post-Separation Abuse

02:42 Navigating the Challenges of Leaving an Abusive Relationship

03:46 Building a Support System During Separation

04:53 The Impact of Co-Parenting on Relationships

06:35 The Role of Friends and Family in Supporting Co-Parents

07:44 Communication Strategies in High-Conflict Situations

09:14 The Importance of Effective Communication

11:09 Leveraging AI for Co-Parenting Support

12:39 Introducing Amy Says: AI for Co-Parents

14:19 Comparing Amy Says to Traditional Chatbots

17:34 Coercive Control and the Family Court System

20:09 The Future of Technology in Family Law

24:25 What's Next for Amy Says?

26:50 Parting Words and Conclusion

27:18 Understanding the Dynamics of Co-Parenting

27:33 Introduction to the Podcast's Purpose

27:36 Exploring Key Themes in the Conversation

27:58 Outro & Disclaimer

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Next Episode

The Spiritual Side of Divorce and Evolution with Tamara Rowles

In this conversation, Tamara Rowles shares her transformative journey from litigation to mediation and divorce consulting. She emphasizes the opportunity for personal growth and healing that divorce can provide, framing it as a hero's journey. Tamara discusses the importance of mindset shifts, accountability, and self-reflection in navigating divorce gracefully. She introduces her app, Divorce Wave, designed to support individuals through the emotional challenges of divorce, offering guided mindfulness experiences and tools for managing communication with ex-partners. The conversation highlights the significance of co-parenting, parallel parenting, and allowing children to form their own relationships post-divorce.
Learn more about Tamara Rowles and the DivorceWave app at: https://divorcewave.com/

Follow Tamara and Divorce Wave on Instagram and YouTube:
https://www.instagram.com/divorcewave
https://www.instagram.com/tamaraesq
https://www.youtube.com/@divorcewave

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/n-2yg34cnuI
Keywords
divorce, mediation, transformation, mindset, co-parenting, self-growth, Divorce Wave, emotional healing, accountability, spiritual awakening

Key Takeaways

Divorce can be a transformative experience.
Mediation can resolve cases more efficiently than litigation.
Divorce is an opportunity to rebuild one's life intentionally.
Mindset shifts are crucial for handling divorce with grace.
Accountability is key to personal growth during divorce.
Feeling emotions is essential for healing and self-discovery.
Co-parenting requires setting boundaries and maintaining respect.
Parallel parenting can ease the transition post-divorce.
Divorce Wave offers guided support for emotional challenges.
Responding with kindness can change the dynamic with an ex.

Sound Bites
"It's the quintessential hero's journey."
"Set your intention for the journey."
"Keep your side of the street clean."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Tamara Rowles and Her Journey
02:04 Transforming Divorce: A New Perspective
04:11 The Hero's Journey Through Divorce
05:45 Mindset Shifts for a Civil Divorce
08:29 Doing the Work: Accountability and Growth
10:09 Spiritual Awakening During Divorce
12:20 Rediscovering Identity Post-Divorce
13:39 Navigating High Conflict Situations
18:26 The Importance of Co-Parenting Dynamics
23:01 Introducing Divorce Wave: A Supportive Tool
27:42 Managing Communication Between Co-Parents
30:59 Building Resilience in Children Through Transitions
32:58 Introduction to Co-Parenting Beyond Conflict
32:59 Understanding the Dynamics of Co-Parenting
33:15 Wrap Up
33:17 Disclaimer

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Coparenting Beyond Conflict: Strategies for High-Conflict Divorce and Custody - From Legal Nightmares to Parenting Peace: Lessons from a Divorce Pro with Paulette Rigo

Transcript

Sol (00:01)
Today on Co-Parenting Beyond Conflict, I'm excited to welcome Paulette Rigo, the founder of Better Divorce Academy and the author of Better Divorce Blueprint. Paulette will share her expert strategies for navigating post-judgment co-parenting challenges and achieving amicable outcomes even in the most difficult of circumstances. Let's dive in.
Sol (00:22)
Paulette, it's so wonderful having you here on Coparenting Beyond Conflict. Thanks for joining me today.
Paulette Ri