Codependent No More: How to Co-Parent Without Control & Guilt with Erika Wright

Explicit content warning

03/20/25 • 40 min

In this conversation, Erika Wright shares her personal journey with codependency, exploring its definitions, societal roots, and impacts on relationships, particularly in co-parenting. She emphasizes the importance of self-love, authenticity, and vulnerability in breaking free from codependent patterns. The discussion also touches on the challenges of navigating co-parenting dynamics, recognizing codependent behaviors, and the significance of encouraging children's voices in the process. Ultimately, Erika advocates for embracing one's true self as a path to healing and healthier relationships.

Learn more about Healing Codependency at https://erikawright.org/

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Keywords

codependency, co-parenting, self-love, relationships, emotional health, parenting, vulnerability, narcissism, healing, personal growth

Takeaways

Codependency often stems from unconscious patterns learned in childhood.
Recognizing codependent behaviors is the first step to healing.
Non-codependency involves embracing vulnerability and truth.
Co-parenting requires a new understanding of relationships post-divorce.
Self-love is essential for breaking the cycle of codependency.
Children's voices should be prioritized in co-parenting decisions.
Emotional honesty is crucial in high-stakes situations like court.
The fear of losing love drives many codependent behaviors.
Parenting choices are evolving, allowing for more conscious decisions.
Divorce can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth.

Sound Bites

"Codependency is manipulation and control."
"I just want my parents to be happy."
"You can do everything about yourself."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Codependency and Personal Journey

02:24 Understanding Codependency: Definitions and Impacts

04:37 The Innocence of Codependency and Its Origins

06:26 Signs of Codependency: Recognizing the Patterns

08:42 The Fear of Losing Love and Its Implications

10:37 Navigating Co-Parenting: Embracing Change

12:32 The Role of Narcissism in Codependent Relationships

14:31 Breaking the Cycle: Healing and Learning in Parenting

16:42 The Evolution of Parenting: Choice and Consciousness

18:58 Non-Codependent Parenting: Acceptance and Presence

22:30 The Journey of Lifelong Love

25:11 Navigating Emotions in Parenting

27:38 Understanding Children's Perspectives

29:54 Breaking Free from Codependency

31:34 Self-Love as a Foundation

33:39 Building Trust with Yourself

34:52 Translating Parental Love to Self-Love

36:37 The Impact of Personal Responsibility

37:47 Embracing Change and Growth

37:58 Connecting with Erika Wright

39:14 Outro & Disclaimer

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Learn more about Healing Codependency at https://erikawright.org/

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/5hYgN3TXnHQ
Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

codependency, co-parenting, self-love, relationships, emotional health, parenting, vulnerability, narcissism, healing, personal growth

Takeaways

Codependency often stems from unconscious patterns learned in childhood.
Recognizing codependent behaviors is the first step to healing.
Non-codependency involves embracing vulnerability and truth.
Co-parenting requires a new understanding of relationships post-divorce.
Self-love is essential for breaking the cycle of codependency.
Children's voices should be prioritized in co-parenting decisions.
Emotional honesty is crucial in high-stakes situations like court.
The fear of losing love drives many codependent behaviors.
Parenting choices are evolving, allowing for more conscious decisions.
Divorce can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth.

Sound Bites

"Codependency is manipulation and control."
"I just want my parents to be happy."
"You can do everything about yourself."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Codependency and Personal Journey

02:24 Understanding Codependency: Definitions and Impacts

04:37 The Innocence of Codependency and Its Origins

06:26 Signs of Codependency: Recognizing the Patterns

08:42 The Fear of Losing Love and Its Implications

10:37 Navigating Co-Parenting: Embracing Change

12:32 The Role of Narcissism in Codependent Relationships

14:31 Breaking the Cycle: Healing and Learning in Parenting

16:42 The Evolution of Parenting: Choice and Consciousness

18:58 Non-Codependent Parenting: Acceptance and Presence

22:30 The Journey of Lifelong Love

25:11 Navigating Emotions in Parenting

27:38 Understanding Children's Perspectives

29:54 Breaking Free from Codependency

31:34 Self-Love as a Foundation

33:39 Building Trust with Yourself

34:52 Translating Parental Love to Self-Love

36:37 The Impact of Personal Responsibility

37:47 Embracing Change and Growth

37:58 Connecting with Erika Wright

39:14 Outro & Disclaimer

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Previous Episode

Is Your Co-Parenting Hurting Your Kids? The Truth You Need to Hear with Dr. Don Gordon

In this conversation, Dr. Don Gordon, founder and the Executive Director of The Center for Divorce Education, discusses the complexities of co-parenting, particularly in the context of divorce. He highlights the importance of understanding loyalty conflicts, the impact of parental behaviors on children, and effective communication strategies for co-parents. Dr. Gordon emphasizes the need for self-regulation techniques for parents and the psychological effects of conflict on children. He also provides resources for co-parents to improve their relationships and parenting skills.
Learn more about The Center for Divorce Education programs at: https://divorce-education.com/

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Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/lf1t9tbFeUw
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Keywords
co-parenting, divorce, loyalty conflicts, child psychology, communication strategies, parental behavior, conflict resolution, emotional literacy, self-regulation, parenting resources

Key Takeaways

The absence of a biological father is a risk factor for delinquency.
Loyalty conflicts can significantly affect children's emotional well-being.
Parents often unknowingly put their children in loyalty binds.
Teaching parents about their impact on children can motivate change.
Effective communication is crucial in co-parenting relationships.
Using 'I' messages can diffuse conflict between co-parents.
Self-regulation techniques can help parents manage stress.
Children's cortisol levels can be affected by parental conflict.
Active listening fosters better communication with children.
Resources are available to help co-parents navigate their challenges.

Resources Mentioned
Dr. Gordon’s Programs & Websites:

Children in Between (4-hour co-parenting course) online.divorce-education.com
High Conflict Solutions (for high-conflict co-parenting situations)
highconflictsolutions.com
Children in Between for Kids (teaches kids ages 7-14 emotional literacy & self-regulation) childreninbetweenforkids.com
Parenting Wisely (general parenting skills program) FamilyWorksInc.com

Books & Experts Mentioned:

No Bad Parts – Book by Dr. Richard Schwartz (focuses on inner healing and personal growth using the Internal Family Systems model)
Dr. Warren Farrell – Expert on active listening and relationship-building strategies

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Co-Parenting Challenges
02:47 Understanding Loyalty Conflicts in Co-Parenting
05:55 Identifying Unintentional Harmful Behaviors
08:50 Effective Communication Strategies for Co-Parents
11:52 Navigating High Conflict Co-Parenting Relationships
15:36 The Impact of Conflict on Children
19:45 Self-Regulation Techniques for Parents
24:40 Focusing on Personal Growth and Accountability
28:00 Communication Strategies for Children
30:39 Leveraging Technology in Co-Parenting
31:05 Resources for Co-Parents
32:50 Introduction to Co-Parenting Beyond Conf

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Next Episode

How AI is Changing the Game for Domestic Abuse Survivors with Anne Wintemute

In this conversation, Anne Wintemute, co-founder and CEO of Aimee Says, discusses the complexities of co-parenting in high-conflict situations, particularly for survivors of relationship abuse. She emphasizes the importance of building a support system, navigating post-separation abuse, and effective communication strategies. The discussion also highlights the role of AI in providing accessible support for those dealing with coercive control and the limitations of the family court system in recognizing these dynamics. Wintemute advocates for a shift towards using technology to empower individuals in their co-parenting journeys.

Learn more about Aimee Says at https://aimeesays.com/

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/tsumGIn1xts
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Keywords

co-parenting, relationship abuse, AI support, family court, emotional abuse, support systems, parallel parenting, post-separation, coercive control, mental health

Takeaways

Understanding the complexities of high-conflict co-parenting is crucial.
Post-separation abuse often escalates and requires careful navigation.
Building a support system is essential for mental health during separation.
Isolation can be detrimental; companionship is vital.
Effective communication is key in co-parenting relationships.
AI can provide instant support and resources for those in need.
The family court system often fails to recognize coercive control.
It's important to strategize before entering the legal system.
AI can help individuals regain agency and autonomy in their situations.
Radical acceptance of uncontrollable factors can aid in healing.

Sound Bites

"Isolation is the number one mental health killer."

"You cannot fight fire with fire."

"The system will be there to support me."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Anne Wintemute

00:34 Understanding Post-Separation Abuse

02:42 Navigating the Challenges of Leaving an Abusive Relationship

03:46 Building a Support System During Separation

04:53 The Impact of Co-Parenting on Relationships

06:35 The Role of Friends and Family in Supporting Co-Parents

07:44 Communication Strategies in High-Conflict Situations

09:14 The Importance of Effective Communication

11:09 Leveraging AI for Co-Parenting Support

12:39 Introducing Amy Says: AI for Co-Parents

14:19 Comparing Amy Says to Traditional Chatbots

17:34 Coercive Control and the Family Court System

20:09 The Future of Technology in Family Law

24:25 What's Next for Amy Says?

26:50 Parting Words and Conclusion

27:18 Understanding the Dynamics of Co-Parenting

27:33 Introduction to the Podcast's Purpose

27:36 Exploring Key Themes in the Conversation

27:58 Outro & Disclaimer

BestInterest Coparenting App: Find peace in coparenting, despite the circumstances. Get 10% off at https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Coparenting Beyond Conflict - Codependent No More: How to Co-Parent Without Control & Guilt with Erika Wright

Transcript

Sol (00:00)
Today, I'm excited to welcome to the program Erika Wright, the founder of Healing Codependency. Erika offers a refreshingly honest and eye-opening take on codependency, her own healing journey with deep compassion and directness. I think the points she made today will really make you think about how you're showing as a parent and a It did for me. Let's dive in.
Sol (00:20)
Well, welcome, Erika. Thanks for coming on to the podcast.
Erika Wright (00:23)
Thanks so much