EP3: Were There Signs of "Gayness" When I Was Young?

10/18/21 • 23 min

“You Are Not Alone: Q’s Read from FB”

Your journey is just that - YOUR journey - no one else’s!

IF you choose to ‘come out’, (and how and when), it is 1000% completely YOUR decision! Whether you’ve always known you are gay, or just now figuring out that you may be bi-sexual, pansexual, demisexual, lesbian, or embrace no label at all, that is your business. If you are questioning your sexuality, it is only your business to explore and figure out. And there’s no rush in figuring this out either - this is not a race, in fact, it is definitely not even a sprint - our exploration and self-reflection is more of a marathon. Take it slowly and deliberately. Take your time, and reach out to other like-minded women in the Facebook group, Coming Out Late Community.

In this episode, you will learn about...

How hearing other women’s ‘coming out later in life’ stories can provide such relief, and realize that you are not alone - that there are so many women like ‘us’!
The many, many different forms of how a family can look after coming out - and that it’s you and your husband/stbxh/partners’joint decision to choose the ‘look’ and logistics that work best for your situation!And know that nothing is set in stone - if it’s not working out, make modifications and try something different.
How keeping the lines of communication wide-open, and ongoing, between you and your (male) partner is vital during this new journey that you (both) are going through.
How other women feel and deal with their own awakening and coming-out process when Robin reads and comments on several FB posts and questions from some of the different ‘coming out late’ Facebook groups. Again, you won’t feel alone after hearing the stories, comments and “Aha!” moments from other women!

Links to resources:

You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian

Looking for your coming-out late community? Request to be a member of the Coming Out Late Community Facebook Group, a private and secure group of late blooming lesbians, at: www.facebook/ComingOutLateCommunity (You must fill out all the registration questions.)

Coming out later in life has its fair share of stress and challenges. Be sure to take good care of your mental health during this trying time. Contact Pride Counseling and book an appointment at: www.pridecounseling.com/comingoutlater.

“You Are Not Alone: Q’s Read from FB”

Your journey is just that - YOUR journey - no one else’s!

In this episode, you will learn about...

How hearing other women’s ‘coming out later in life’ stories can provide such relief, and realize that you are not alone - that there are so many women like ‘us’!
The many, many different forms of how a family can look after coming out - and that it’s you and your husband/stbxh/partners’joint decision to choose the ‘look’ and logistics that work best for your situation!And know that nothing is set in stone - if it’s not working out, make modifications and try something different.
How keeping the lines of communication wide-open, and ongoing, between you and your (male) partner is vital during this new journey that you (both) are going through.
How other women feel and deal with their own awakening and coming-out process when Robin reads and comments on several FB posts and questions from some of the different ‘coming out late’ Facebook groups. Again, you won’t feel alone after hearing the stories, comments and “Aha!” moments from other women!

Links to resources:

You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian

Previous Episode

EP2: How Do I Know If I’m Really Gay? (And, What If I’m Wrong?)

Some of us went a lifetime having ‘no clue’ we were attracted to women until much later in life. Others, on the other hand, always knew they ‘liked girls’, but stuffed it down, way down. Internal homophobia, deep-seeded homophobic denial, and compulsory-heteronormativity all played a huge role in delaying, and denying, our journey to discovering and embracing our true selves. One thing we late-bloomers know for sure is, if we were straight, we sure as heck wouldn’t be asking ourselves if we weren’t! But don’t take our word for it, keep listening to the Coming Out Late Podcast and hear the similarities in our stories.

In this episode, you will learn about...

How Robin figured out she’s gay, (using her unique ‘research technique’)

How many of us get to the point of: “Ok. Enough is enough already. I have to figure this out! Why am I feeling this way toward women? ”

“So this IS a ‘thing’. It isn’t just me.”

Robin’s theory on her own deep homophobic denial

A few podcasts and books specifically for women questioning their sexuality

Links to resources:

The podcast that inspired me to become a Life Strategist for the late-blooming Community is The Lesbian Chronicles Podcast at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life/id1468550568

Another awesome, private and safe Facebook group to check out is, Late Bloomer Lesbians at: www.facebook.com/latebloomerlesbians

A few books I first read when I was questioning my sexuality were: Fleisher, Joanne, Living Two Lives: Married to a Man & In Love with a Woman, and Waters, Dawn Elizabeth, Switching Teams: What Coming Out Later in Life Taught Me About Love, Conquering Fear, and Accepting Change, and McCoy, Robin, Late Bloomers: Awakening to Lesbianism After Forty.

Take care of your mental health and book an appointment now with Pride Counseling at: www.pridecounseling.com/comingoutlater.

Looking for your coming-out late community? Ask to join Robin’s private Facebook group at: www.facebook/ComingOutLateCommunity (You must fill out all the registration questions.) Once approved, you’ll find flyers announcing the ever-popular Women Loving Women zoom room.

Next Episode

Ep. #4: How To Deal With Grief When Coming Out

“Coming-Out-Late Grief: It’s Real”

‘Life' is full of uncertainty, discomfort and pain, as well as joy, peace and freedom. It is when we master the art of being comfortable with discomfort and uncertainty, that we have mastered the art of living life - not just surviving it.

Why should our coming out late journey be any different? It is in the discomfort, the uncertainty and the grief in which our growth can occur and our souls may soar. Grief is not only an expected part of ‘life’, but it will also be an expected and painful part of our coming out late process! This journey you are on is not easy - - but it is well worth it all, in the end. And the good news is - - everyone will survive the grieving process and your coming out late journey - - it just takes time - - a lot of time and patience!

In this episode, you will learn...

That your grief, sadness and pain is very real, and to be expected. That mourning and grieving during your coming-out journey is ‘normal’, and doesn’t just happen once, but does lessen over time. Give yourself plenty of love, grace and space to simply ‘be’.
That you are going through a metamorphosis of sorts; you will be shedding old ‘skin’ and rebirthing a new identity. With those significant changes come intense feelings; heavy, deeply-felt feelings. Feel them all. Feeling them all gives them credence and in doing so allows them to ‘pass through you’ more freely and quickly.
Why it’s critical that you cry - and cry often! Let your tears flow, and flow freely and flow often. Crying is not a weakness - it is a necessary and natural process in the release of toxins and emotions that simply must come out - just like you must come out.

Links to resources:

You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian

Email Robin at: [email protected]