Sylvester McNutt’s Comeback Story - Telling The Full Story

08/19/21 • 50 min

Sylvester McNutt III brings some hardwon and deep wisdom to the podcast. From a childhood where he faced death down the barrel of a gun held by the hands of his father, to nearly being expelled in high school and turning his behavior around and becoming a model student, to the simple yet powerful lesson he learned about love in a brief conversation with an elderly lady on the streets of LA.

Sylvester describes his childhood with one simple word: colorful. His father was in the military and his family moved around quite a bit. As he got older, Sylvester was able to appreciate the duality of his early life where his father was a great leader but a poor teacher, and his mother was an excellent teacher but not the most loving mother.
Around the time his brother and sister were born, the entire family dynamic changed from healthy and happy to violent and unhealthy. He sensed the changes but didn’t really have the language to describe so he got into sports to cope.
Sylvester actually stole his first journal from a 7/11. As difficult as his childhood became, it launched his deepest curiosity.
One of his earliest memories of pain was when he faced death directly because of his father. That’s when he developed a deep mistrust of his parents.
The consequences of the constant disruption and mistrust were anger issues. This led to Sylvester getting into a number of fights in school until a teacher directed that anger towards sports.
Another important teacher in Sylvester’s life was his Assistant Principal in high school. Sylvester was always a difficult student and after being suspended for 42 days he essentially had to beg to stay in school. His Assistant Principal was willing to show him the motherly love Sylvester needed to turn things around and gave him a deal that allowed him to stay in school.
In his final high school years, Sylvester had perfect attendance and straight A’s because he had something bigger than his trauma, which was his team.
Slyvester’s coach required him to take up track in preparation of excelling at an even higher level, and despite hating running, that experience became the path that led Sylvester to yoga. In so many ways, sports saved him.
Sylvester’s father passed away in 2014 which gave him an acute sense of his own mortality. He was in a position where he didn’t have the money to fly back for the funeral and was forced to ask for help, which was one of the greatest things that happened to him.
Speaking at his father’s funeral and helping people grieve their loss was when he realized his destiny and decided to pursue speaking.
His journey to becoming the speaker he is today has helped him heal all the trauma of his childhood. He no longer has hate in his heart and feels blessed to be able to heal other people with his words.
Being present enough to ask why he drank alcohol was enough for him to want to be sober. Sylvester is now five months sober and is looking forward to his first birthday with a sober toast, many of which have also started reevaluating their relationship with alcohol.
While he was in his trauma, Sylvester was in survival mode. He pushed hard in his corporate job and became one of top salespeople in the organization, but that turned sour after he became afraid of his own success.
Sylvester recalls a story of his encounter with an elderly woman/potential angel who revealed the truth of love to him. When someone gives you love, you honor that. You don’t justify it.
Many people downplay the love that they receive because of shame. Shame makes you feel small and reject love.
Today, Slyvester is most grateful for his little boy. Fatherhood has given Sylvester another way to see the world and a more complete perspective on life.
Journaling is a powerful way to dismiss thoughts of not being worthy or not enough. You can ask yourself “do I need to hold this thought?”, many of the times you don’t.
We teach people how to treat us. As human beings, we seek safety, but the trouble with a complete break in a relationship is that lack of opportunity for repair. The solution is boundaries.
Boundaries are about developing a framework that allows us to interact with each other and a vessel for safety. If you’re struggling with boundaries, know that boundaries are where you end and the other person begins. They are about respect, not about one person always being right.
If Sylvester could send a message to his younger self, it would be to “stop trying to do it all on your own.” Find a community. It’s okay for other people to know about your pain and failure. Strength is in the full story, not just the success.
Sylvester’s comeback shoutout goes to a number of friends and family members that have supported him and showed him the right path forward.

Mentioned in this Episode:...

Sylvester describes his childhood with one simple word: colorful. His father was in the military and his family moved around quite a bit. As he got older, Sylvester was able to appreciate the duality of his early life where his father was a great leader but a poor teacher, and his mother was an excellent teacher but not the most loving mother.
Around the time his brother and sister were born, the entire family dynamic changed from healthy and happy to violent and unhealthy. He sensed the changes but didn’t really have the language to describe so he got into sports to cope.
Sylvester actually stole his first journal from a 7/11. As difficult as his childhood became, it launched his deepest curiosity.
One of his earliest memories of pain was when he faced death directly because of his father. That’s when he developed a deep mistrust of his parents.
The consequences of the constant disruption and mistrust were anger issues. This led to Sylvester getting into a number of fights in school until a teacher directed that anger towards sports.
Another important teacher in Sylvester’s life was his Assistant Principal in high school. Sylvester was always a difficult student and after being suspended for 42 days he essentially had to beg to stay in school. His Assistant Principal was willing to show him the motherly love Sylvester needed to turn things around and gave him a deal that allowed him to stay in school.
In his final high school years, Sylvester had perfect attendance and straight A’s because he had something bigger than his trauma, which was his team.
Slyvester’s coach required him to take up track in preparation of excelling at an even higher level, and despite hating running, that experience became the path that led Sylvester to yoga. In so many ways, sports saved him.
Sylvester’s father passed away in 2014 which gave him an acute sense of his own mortality. He was in a position where he didn’t have the money to fly back for the funeral and was forced to ask for help, which was one of the greatest things that happened to him.
Speaking at his father’s funeral and helping people grieve their loss was when he realized his destiny and decided to pursue speaking.
His journey to becoming the speaker he is today has helped him heal all the trauma of his childhood. He no longer has hate in his heart and feels blessed to be able to heal other people with his words.
Being present enough to ask why he drank alcohol was enough for him to want to be sober. Sylvester is now five months sober and is looking forward to his first birthday with a sober toast, many of which have also started reevaluating their relationship with alcohol.
While he was in his trauma, Sylvester was in survival mode. He pushed hard in his corporate job and became one of top salespeople in the organization, but that turned sour after he became afraid of his own success.
Sylvester recalls a story of his encounter with an elderly woman/potential angel who revealed the truth of love to him. When someone gives you love, you honor that. You don’t justify it.
Many people downplay the love that they receive because of shame. Shame makes you feel small and reject love.
Today, Slyvester is most grateful for his little boy. Fatherhood has given Sylvester another way to see the world and a more complete perspective on life.
Journaling is a powerful way to dismiss thoughts of not being worthy or not enough. You can ask yourself “do I need to hold this thought?”, many of the times you don’t.
We teach people how to treat us. As human beings, we seek safety, but the trouble with a complete break in a relationship is that lack of opportunity for repair. The solution is boundaries.
Boundaries are about developing a framework that allows us to interact with each other and a vessel for safety. If you’re struggling with boundaries, know that boundaries are where you end and the other person begins. They are about respect, not about one person always being right.
If Sylvester could send a message to his younger self, it would be to “stop trying to do it all on your own.” Find a community. It’s okay for other people to know about your pain and failure. Strength is in the full story, not just the success.
Sylvester’s comeback shoutout goes to a number of friends and family members that have supported him and showed him the right path forward.

Mentioned in this Episode:...

Previous Episode

Sharpening Your Saw

On this week's episode of “Monday Motivation Raw,” Donny shares the importance of “Sharpening Your Saw” and how this is a daily practice that keeps your body healthy and strong, your mind alert and calm, and your spirit connected and inspired.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Next Episode

Baron Baptiste’s Comeback Story - Meditation, Yoga, and How To Stay Out Of Your Head

Baron Baptiste, the founder of Baptiste Power Yoga, talks about some of the major realizations and key lessons he’s learned in his life and why the hardships we encounter are things that allow us to choose how they shape and define us. Learn how Baron let go of his anger and resentment and how that became one of his life’s most impactful turning points.

Baron describes his childhood with two words: freedom and painful. His parents were dedicated to natural ways of living and eating, with his father being an herbalist and running a yoga center. With the freedom, he didn’t have the same bonds as other families, which resulted in a deep sense of loneliness.
He recalls being the kid that everyone picked on and because of the shame and embarrassment. He never told anyone what was happening. In the long run, the pain of being alone developed into resilience later on in life.
Baron’s father was his first real teacher. He had a natural way of serving people and being around that bled into Baron’s perspective as he was growing up. Another big influence was a visiting yoga teacher from India who exposed Baron to athletically physical yoga for the first time. As he continued to study with him, he showed Baron the power of a mind/body practice.
Baron’s childhood was stacked with a lot of trials and tribulations. Since he didn’t fit into the mainstream very well, he fell into a peer group that didn’t have the greatest habits. In his teenage years, Baron was failing school rapidly and getting into drug use.
Baron continued on this path, got married and had three kids, but eventually he and his wife decided to separate, and that experience brought back the same sense of deep loneliness.
Baron saw two options. He could put his suffering and pain on others or he could take responsibility for his life and who he wanted to be.
Before his divorce, Baron was taught a different way of meditation that focused on observation of his thoughts. It was at that time with that focus, that Baron realized how much resentment and anger he had inside him, brewing just below the surface. Prior to hitting bottom, he didn’t see himself as an angry person at all.
He realized that he had a lot of anger towards his father for not being present in his life when Baron was growing up. It was forgiving his father that lifted a sense of heaviness off his shoulders, and that moment of forgiveness became a major pivot point in his life.
You can feel justified in your anger and resentment, but at some point you need to let go of the things that no longer serve you.
Yoga was always a part of Baron’s life but it never directly impacted his experience of living. It was more of an intellectual pursuit until he learned to embody his experience with meditation. He began exploring other kinds of teachings like Christian and Judaic mysticism and Zen Buddhism.
You can access the power of meditation without going through the 12 steps. You just have to be willing to sit with your shit. Meditation is about getting to the root of the problem, digging it out, and healing yourself.
In life, we are either expanding or contracting. Resentment is a way of contracting and closing ourselves off. As the saying goes, “It’s like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
Around the age of 19, Baron decided to give up alcohol and drugs, and despite not being addicted to those substances anymore, the 12-step program still had applications in his life. After attending some meetings with a friend, he had the realization that he needed to forgive his parents as well as acknowledge his judgement and resentment, and let it go.
Everything changes when you stop blaming, and start taking ownership.
Baron is most grateful for his three healthy, bright, and intelligent sons as well as whatever higher power has been watching over him and allowing that to happen. He’s grateful for the experiences and hardships that he’s had that have strengthened him and made him better.
Make your practice about staying out of your head, in whatever way that means for you. There is power in staying out of your head. Meditation is a unique way of doing that. It allows you to be present to the physical sensations of your body and the universe.
If you find meditating difficult, just find a comfortable place and just sit. If you feel resistance, just put your attention on your breath and watch your thoughts. Just sit without expectation and see what happens.
Your thoughts aren’t you.
Separating yourself and becoming aware of your awareness gives your negative thoughts less power over you.
Baron’s friend John Sullivan gets his comeback story shoutout. He’s the one guy who has always been there in the hardest of times.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Baronbap...

Comeback Stories - Sylvester McNutt’s Comeback Story - Telling The Full Story

Transcript

Speaker 100:00:00.200

Some of those thoughts that we have. I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not fast enough, i'm not strong enough, i eat too much. Whatever it is. To write it down right, just literally write it all down, and to ask yourself, do I have to hold this thought? Maybe you do, but maybe you don't. Welcome back, everybody, we're here for another episode of Comeback Stories. Today's guest is Sylvester McNutt, the third. He's an e