Comeback Stories

On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined by Michael Aidala, a leading performance coach. Michael talks about how he thrived at sports as a child and felt immense pressure to meet his father's expectations. He talks about then breaking free from those expectations and utilizing unconventional tools to find his own path.

Michael describes when he decided a change was necessary, and the steps he followed to change his mindset. He speaks about how small actions add up to larger decision-making habits, and how he helps men to focus on introspective practices to feel more connected to others and the world around them,

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https://www.instagram.com/mike.aidala/

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined in studio by Brad Lea, Chairman & CEO of LightSpeed VT and host of The Dropping Bombs Podcast. Brad describes how certain early life situations offered him a perspective to mentor and help others do good. He preaches content, repitition, practice & accountability in his daily work at LightSpeed, and tells you how all four attributes can create power.

Brad continues to explain how his life lessons led to writing his latest book The Hard Way, a book loaded with teachable moments from his past so others don't make the same missteps. He says we all have "choicemakers" within us, and making the choice to take full advantage of every precious "Million Dollar Morning" is paramount to a fulfulling life.

Follow Brad Here:

https://twitter.com/TheRealBradLea

Have a question or topic for our next show? Text or leave us a VM at 480-701-8844

💻 https://www.comebackstories.com/

► YouTube! 💻 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1lqMKbuqPjUseWHt755AFQ/featured

► iTunes 🔊 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/comeback-stories/id1551398819

► Spotify 🔊 https://open.spotify.com/show/6aatkzIGU9a7rrp26gAoTp

🚀 DARREN WALLER 🚀

► Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/rackkwall/?hl=en

► Twitter | https://twitter.com/rackkwall83?lang=en

🚀 DONNY STARKINS 🚀

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► Twitter | https://mobile.twitter.com/donnystarkins

#ComebackStoriesPodcast #BlueWire

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Sylvester McNutt III brings some hardwon and deep wisdom to the podcast. From a childhood where he faced death down the barrel of a gun held by the hands of his father, to nearly being expelled in high school and turning his behavior around and becoming a model student, to the simple yet powerful lesson he learned about love in a brief conversation with an elderly lady on the streets of LA.

• Sylvester describes his childhood with one simple word: colorful. His father was in the military and his family moved around quite a bit. As he got older, Sylvester was able to appreciate the duality of his early life where his father was a great leader but a poor teacher, and his mother was an excellent teacher but not the most loving mother.
• Around the time his brother and sister were born, the entire family dynamic changed from healthy and happy to violent and unhealthy. He sensed the changes but didn’t really have the language to describe so he got into sports to cope.
• Sylvester actually stole his first journal from a 7/11. As difficult as his childhood became, it launched his deepest curiosity.
• One of his earliest memories of pain was when he faced death directly because of his father. That’s when he developed a deep mistrust of his parents.
• The consequences of the constant disruption and mistrust were anger issues. This led to Sylvester getting into a number of fights in school until a teacher directed that anger towards sports.
• Another important teacher in Sylvester’s life was his Assistant Principal in high school. Sylvester was always a difficult student and after being suspended for 42 days he essentially had to beg to stay in school. His Assistant Principal was willing to show him the motherly love Sylvester needed to turn things around and gave him a deal that allowed him to stay in school.
• In his final high school years, Sylvester had perfect attendance and straight A’s because he had something bigger than his trauma, which was his team.
• Slyvester’s coach required him to take up track in preparation of excelling at an even higher level, and despite hating running, that experience became the path that led Sylvester to yoga. In so many ways, sports saved him.
• Sylvester’s father passed away in 2014 which gave him an acute sense of his own mortality. He was in a position where he didn’t have the money to fly back for the funeral and was forced to ask for help, which was one of the greatest things that happened to him.
• Speaking at his father’s funeral and helping people grieve their loss was when he realized his destiny and decided to pursue speaking.
• His journey to becoming the speaker he is today has helped him heal all the trauma of his childhood. He no longer has hate in his heart and feels blessed to be able to heal other people with his words.
• Being present enough to ask why he drank alcohol was enough for him to want to be sober. Sylvester is now five months sober and is looking forward to his first birthday with a sober toast, many of which have also started reevaluating their relationship with alcohol.
• While he was in his trauma, Sylvester was in survival mode. He pushed hard in his corporate job and became one of top salespeople in the organization, but that turned sour after he became afraid of his own success.
• Sylvester recalls a story of his encounter with an elderly woman/potential angel who revealed the truth of love to him. When someone gives you love, you honor that. You don’t justify it.
• Many people downplay the love that they receive because of shame. Shame makes you feel small and reject love.
• Today, Slyvester is most grateful for his little boy. Fatherhood has given Sylvester another way to see the world and a more complete perspective on life.
• Journaling is a powerful way to dismiss thoughts of not being worthy or not enough. You can ask yourself “do I need to hold this thought?”, many of the times you don’t.
• We teach people how to treat us. As human beings, we seek safety, but the trouble with a complete break in a relationship is that lack of opportunity for repair. The solution is boundaries.
• Boundaries are about developing a framework that allows us to interact with each other and a vessel for safety. If you’re struggling with boundaries, know that boundaries are where you end and the other person begins. They are about respect, not about one person always being right.
• If Sylvester could send a message to his younger self, it would be to “stop trying to do it all on your own.” Find a community. It’s okay for other people to know about your pain and failure. Strength is in the full story, not just the success.
• Sylvester’s comeback shoutout goes to a number of friends and family members that have supported him and showed him the right path forward.

Mentioned in this Episode:...

Danica Patrick, one of the most successful and recognized female racers in the world, shares her story of what she learned during her career, on and off the track. Learn about why a growth mindset was key to Danica’s success growing up as a racer, the vital importance of setting lofty goals, and why self-love is the best foundation for real relationships in life.

• Danica is one of the most successful and recognized female racers, having been the first female to lead the Indy 500, the first female to win the Poll position in the Daytona 500, and won the Indy Japan. No other female has come close to what Danica has achieved in her racing career.
• Danica grew up in Illinois and life was very normal, but she admits that she hasn’t experienced anything else so most people will think their childhood is pretty “normal”.
• She began racing at the age of 10 so being competitive was a source of struggle and conflict with her father, but Danica doesn’t have many specific memories from her childhood.
• Danica’s first real teacher was her father. She doesn’t recall having any role models in particular. One of the first lessons she learned from her father was that wherever your eyes are, that’s the direction you will go. This has become a metaphor that Danica has taken to heart.
• Danica is a future thinker and gets very attached to outcomes. This makes her willing to work through the pain when she sets a goal so that she can achieve it.
• Professionally, one of Danica’s lowest points was when her sponsor left in 2017. She had to face the possibility of being done racing and how that was going to change her life. Personally, she’s dealt with a lot more sadness in grief in her relationships.
• Danica realized that the times where she happiest were when she was performing her best, and that when she was happier she also performed better. Recognizing the dynamic of her own joy and how her well-being affected her performance was a big realization.
• If people grow up in a household that only rewards success they tend to refrain from taking on new challenges because of their fear of failure. A growth mindset is critical for every aspect of life.
• Home is a state of being. It’s inside you and you carry it with you. As a culture, once we wrap our head around how powerful the mind is there will be some drastic shifts in the world.
• So much of who we are is hidden in the subconscious mind. Once you recognize that everything in your reality is there to show you who you are, it becomes informational. We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.
• The body follows the mind. When it comes to football or racing, success is 90% mental and 10% physical. The fear of failure is more impactful than the physical skills of the body. Belief in yourself carries an immense amount of weight of the end result.
• If you set your goal to be ambitious and lofty, the halfway point will still involve achieving great things. If you make your goals small you end up selling your potential short.
• Small incremental goals along the way will keep you motivated and give you perspective on the progress you’re making. Compliment your lofty goal with smaller goals along the path.
• To set the proper goals for yourself, you need to know who you are and what your values are.
• Boundaries are not about placing limitations on other people, it’s about what you will and won’t allow into your space. Being able to say no from a place of love is a very important life skill or you can find yourself giving away your energy to people and things that don’t resonate with you. Without boundaries, there is no way to really know who someone is.
• Values are the bedrock of who we are, and we teach people how to treat us.
• Knowing who you really are is hard. Work, life, kids, activities and other people make it very difficult to get to know who you are. You need time alone to figure those things out, and once you know who you are you know what you are willing to put up with and be around.
• Change is not part of the process, it is the process.
• The ego is impatient because it knows its time is limited but the soul is patient because it knows that it has forever.
• The more you love yourself the more other people can love you. Without that self-love, you won’t be able to accept the love of someone else because you won’t believe that it’s true.
• Accountability is one of the most important dynamics in personal and professional relationships. Danica’s most grateful for being accountable because it empowers her to shape the direction of her life. Without accountability you won’t follow through and will end up with more of what you don’t want.
• If you can recognize in yourself that you are stuck against a roadblock you are already most of the way there. People often walk through life passively and ca...

Internationally successful motivational speaker Trent Shelton talks about his story and struggle with fear and depression, and how his life changed completely once he accepted the power of his voice. Learn about the challenges Trent encountered during his professional football career and how those struggles became his message that he now shares with over 12 million followers every day.

• Trent grew up in the New Orleans area with his two older brothers and family. Sports were a major component of Trent’s life and his parents were always supportive of him and the things he pursued.
• One of Trent’s earliest memories of pain was because he was asthmatic and had a lot of difficulty breathing when he was younger. It was so bad that during one coughing episode Trent burst the blood vessels in his eyes. His mother drove him to the hospital where Trent stopped breathing and blacked out. He spent a week in the hospital and it was then that he realized how fragile life could be.
• Trent learned to never take life for granted and realized that God has a plan for his life. The pain was not there to break him, it was there to build him, and it gave Trent a lot of emotional resilience from a young age.
• Trent’s parents were his earliest teachers. He learned how to have faith and resilience from his mother and he learned how to be a supportive father and husband from his dad.
• Trent grew up across the street from people that went on to play professional football and that showed him the fruits of hard work. Hard work can make any reality and dream come true. Get around people that make your dreams tangible and make you feel like you can accomplish them.
• Trent found some success as an athlete when he was in school but during one of his first drafts, he found himself being left behind. Athletes put a tremendous amount of significance on their performance, and it was the first time in his life where Trent really felt like he wasn’t enough. A couple of weeks later, Trent was cut from the team.
• He went back to his parent’s place and sheltered himself. What you suppress will turn into your depression, that's what happened to Trent. For the following three years he lost himself in the journey to try to make it as a professional football player.
• Instead of the love of the game, everything was based on the fear of being cut for not living up to what people expected.
• It’s hard for athletes to look within and accept that they need to heal. The selfish season is about making sure you take the time for you so you can show up in your life in the way that your family or your team needs you to.
• It’s about doing the dark work, the work nobody sees. That can be reading books, listening to podcasts, taking care of your body, and having the difficult conversations you need to have. Selfish season is about burning whatever necessary bridges you need to burn, the ones that are leading your life to destruction.
• Fear controls so many people’s lives and it prevents people from becoming the person they were created to be. The fear of staying the same has to outweigh the fear of change.
• Failure is just a feedback sample. You have to look at the cost of inaction and what you’re going to pay for not pushing forward.
• Your perspective is under your control. It’s the window of how you see the world and it can be one of two things: the prison perspective or the power perspective. The prison perspective holds you back, the power perspective puts you in the driver’s seat.
• How you see life will determine how you feel about life, how you feel about life will determine what you do with your life, what you do with your life will determine what you get.
• The clarity of your perspective is determined by the quality of your practices. Self-love and self-care are crucial.
• No matter what you have, if you don’t fix yourself at a core level, you will still have nothing. Once the thrill of external things wears off, you will still have to deal with the pain.
• Trent hung onto his football career, not because he loved it, but because he didn’t know who he would be without it. In order to accept reality, he had to release it.
• Most of the time we try to solve things at a surface level. To harbour true strength, we need to conquer pain at its deepest level. Once Trent released his fears and the things holding him back, he began the process of repairing the holes left behind.
• Trent is an introvert so he did not expect himself to become a speaker. It wasn’t until a friend saw that Trent had something within him and encouraged him to speak to a group of high school kids did he discover what he was capable of.
• Your transparency can become someone else’s transformation. Realizing your past had a purpose can bring incredible healing to your life.
• You are more than your sport.
• Detach...