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Closing Crawl - Mercy Droids: The Clone Wars Season 4 Episodes 5 and 6

Mercy Droids: The Clone Wars Season 4 Episodes 5 and 6

Closing Crawl

04/12/22 • 49 min

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Mercy Mission Synopsis:

Radio Announcer: Tragedy has struck Aleen.

On the way down to the planet the clones see an Aleena riding a giant insect thing and says ‘Great, it’s going to be another one of those planets’ in case you’d forgotten that teenage boys are the absolute worst. The design of the Aleena suggests that Brian Froud has snuck into Lucasfilm; let’s see if we get a darkly whimsical fairytale allegory that will give kids nightmares. Or even David Bowie’s crotch (fingers crossed!).

3PO promptly falls down the hole and R2, who is always down for a weird LSD trip, is right behind him. They start walking and are immediately swarmed by faeries. They enter a subterranean world that immediately references Dagobah. Revelation here we come. 3PO and R2 meet the Kindaloo, who look like an Ent and a Landstrider got lost in a Piers Anthony novel.

The Kindaloo see a potential solution in 3PO and send him to see Orphne. The faeries coalesce into Orphne who promptly tastes 3PO in case you didn't know which kind of faerie queen we were dealing with. Orphne says that 3PO will do what he is meant to do and gives a riddle. Fortunately 3PO’s speciality is riddles and Never Ending Story references, so he gets to work. R2, who is basically Puck, gets there first and pees on the right floor symbol and unlocks a water elevator into a flower and 3PO and R2 are spit back onto the surface. Underground vapors remember that they exist and commence to poison the Aleena.

R2 and 3PO, because they don’t breathe, are able to seal the breach and bring peace back to Aleen. A small Aleena does what we all wanted to do as kids and hugs R2 in thanks. The clones are still being giant wangs. The end.

Nomad Droids Synopsis:

We open on 3PO Spacetiming (TM) with Padme to tell her of their adventures. The cruiser gets attacked by Grievous.

R2 and 3PO “commandeer” a Y-wing and the two end up crashing on a nearby planet. The locals attack, but they’re only about 6” tall. The Lilliputians proceed to pull a Gulliver’s Travels on the two droids. While bumping proverbial chests with the king, R2 is knocked over by 3PO and crushes him to death... 3PO decides to instill democracy upon them, but that quickly descends into voter fraud (no joke).

The droids leave the planet on their newly repaired Y-wing, but don’t have enough power, so they land on another nearby planet. They’re brought to this planet’s leader, some repair droids doing a great and powerful OZ impression. The locals revolt and destroy the hologram and lightning producing machine, causing R2 and 3PO to wander away as their power reserves fall to zero.
The clones and Jedi run across the pair. We end the episode with 3PO telling their story to a captive and unwilling audience in Commander Wolffe.

The Clone Wars: Season 4 Episodes 5 and 6: https://www.disneyplus.com/video/1d717a67-fdce-4404-aed6-3cca361e0946

https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296

https://www.closingcrawl.com/

On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz9X-57K6-VV_GkUBaqvyeA

Merch: https://bit.ly/spacetimetm

https://twitter.com/ClosingCrawl
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/closing-crawl/id1530133296
https://www.closingcrawl.com/
Merch at: https://bit.ly/spacetimetm

Explicit content warning

04/12/22 • 49 min

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