Ep. 92 How to Talk Dirty, Even If You’re Shy

01/19/21 • 56 min

Here’s why it’s worth moving past those fears: Adding verbal play to physical sexual activity creates a powerful, erotic combination. Dirty talk creates the best kind of tension, lacing sex with fantasy and anticipation. It also helps you express what you like and want in bed, serving not only as seduction but also as instruction. For that reason, it’s often lauded as a sexy, non-awkward, and non-disruptive way to give and receive sexual consent. (There’s no clearer way to express your desire, after all, than looking someone in the eye and saying “f—ck me.”)

And while apart, combining some solo activity with something verbal and erotic can be an exciting change. Because you don't talk like this with other people, this private, shared language can be a source of closeness, and provide intimacy when you can’t be physically intimate. By verbalizing your desires, it’ll make your reunion all the more exciting.

Ep. 92 How to Talk Dirty, Even If You’re Shy

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Ep 93 Most Common Sexual Fetishes

The term “fetish” may evoke images of black bodysuits and complicated sexual contraptions, but you may already be acting out some of the most common examples, such as spanking. What defines a fetish, though, isn't what the activity or object of desire is so much as the role it plays in someone's life. “A fetish is typically referred to as a behavior that someone cannot get sexually aroused without. Fetishes can also be a term people use to describe a sexual arousal that is coupled with a typically non-sexual object,” says sexologist and psychologist Dense Renye. While people use the terms "fetish" and "kink" interchangeably, a kink means an activity or behavior that someone enjoys that exists outside the "norm" of "traditional" sex. Someone's kink may be bondage, and they may be incredibly excited when they're tied up...or someone may have a bondage fetish, and their entire sexuality may revolve around restraint. Meanwhile, a turn-on may be something that simply arouses a person. It’s crucial to remember that people of all gender identities and orientations can be kinky, and what’s kinky to one person may be considered vanilla by another. And while being kinky still comes with social stigmas, Stephanie*, a 25-year-old woman involved in the New York City kink scene, says kinks are increasingly viewed as mainstream. “I always thought you couldn’t have an unconventional lifestyle and fall into success. Now I know you can live a kinky lifestyle and still be successful,” Stephanie says.