But Why?

This week Clemmie speaks to author and psychotherapist Anna Mathur about rage. And in particular maternal rage. We've all been there - your jaw is tightening, you can feel your blood boiling, you feel trapped and frustrated and suddenly you find yourself yelling CAN EVERYONE JUST PUT THEIR SHOES ON! Only to instantly regret it. #

The pair discuss why these ‘loss of control’ moments happen, why they make us feel so awful and more importantly what we can do to make them less likely to happen. It's honest, reassuring and jam-packed with useful advice.

Resources:

Anna has two books:

‘MIND OVER MOTHER: Every mum's guide to worry and anxiety in the first years

‘KNOW YOUR WORTH: How to build your self-esteem, grow in confidence and worry less about what people think’

Shameless plug:

**Clemmie’s Debut book “But Why? How to Answer Tricky Questions from Kids by Having Honest Conversation with Yourself’ is available to preorder now, it includes a section on Complex Feelings.

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Sitting down with Clemmie to chat through their brand is Gynelle Leon, founder of specialist succulent store, Prick London.

Gynelle has an extrodniary knowledge and passion for plants, in particular succulents. She opened London’s first cactus shop as part of building the Prick brand.

Gynelle opens up about how she became such an expert in her trade and how she has moved her brand from a high street shop to exclusively e-commerce site after making the difficult decision to close the store.

Gynelle is such a powerhouse for change, and this chat really tackled some difficult business decisions.

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In this look back through the But Why best bits collection, we return to December 2022 when Clemmie talked to friend of the pod, mum of three, psychotherapist and bestselling author Anna Mathur about loneliness.

Anna is passionate about taking therapy out of the therapy room and sharing her own personal and professional experiences to support mums through motherhood. Her podcast, 'The Therapy Edit', has over a million downloads and her new book, 'The Little Book of Calm for New Mums', is out now!

Find Anna on Instagram @annamathur and check out Clemmie @Clemmie_Telford.

You can also find more podcast content @butwhy_podcast.

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This week's But Why bitesize is extraordinary and a little different. In normal circumstances, these mini episodes involve a very complicated edit, but not this week.

In this episode Clemmie is looking at war with child genocide survivor Taban Shoresh, who founded Lotus Flower, a non-profit that supports female conflict survivors and refugees in Kurdistan, Iraq. And this shortened episode is simply her first answer. You can find the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.

With a political activist father during Saddam Hussein’s regime, Taban was imprisoned with her family aged just four, and they narrowly escaped being buried alive.

After a year dodging bombs and bullets, they were finally flown to the UK by Amnesty to start a new life.

In 2016 decided to give up her successful City of London career and establish Lotus Flower. It now supports women and girls who lost everything at the hands of ISIS, including their homes and loved ones, and who also suffered barbaric crimes such as slavery, rape and torture.

To find out more about Lotus Flower visit Supporting Women & Girls impacted by conflict I The Lotus Flower.

And to check out more content and listen to previous episodes go to @ButWhy_podcast.

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**Trigger warning – this episode contains talk of intrusive thoughts of harm. Please take care when listening.

In this episode Clemmie chats to chartered clinical psychologist Dr Caroline Boyd about intrusive thoughts. Caroline has over 10 years' experience working in the NHS and mental health settings, and specialises in supporting parents from pregnancy to childbirth and beyond. She is also the author of Mindful New Mum, and her published research explores mothers' experiences of intrusive thoughts about their babies. Her work has been featured in You magazine, Grazia, BBC Radio Scotland and Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4.

Caroline specialises in supporting parents around difficulties related to anger and anxiety. In her independent psychology practice, Parent Therapy Hub, she works integratively and draws on Compassion Focused Therapy, Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, as well as Systemic, Narrative and attachment models. Caroline is fully trained in Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), an effective approach for working with difficult memories and traumatic events.

Caroline shares psychology ideas on Instagram and in the media to help parents feel more connected - to themselves and their children - and less alone.

You can reach Caroline at drcarolineboyd.com or via Instagram @_drboyd

In her independent psychology practice, Parent Therapy Hub, Caroline offers workshops and courses supporting mums around maternal anger:

https://drcarolineboyd.com/course-mum-rage

Caroline’s book, Mindful New Mum: A Mind-Body Approach to the Highs and Lows of Motherhood, is available to buy online Amazon, Waterstones or Bookshop

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Note – Fathers also report experiencing these thoughts, but to a slightly lesser degree than mothers.

If this episode raises any concerns for you please talk to a trusted health professional such as your GP.

You can also reach out to the services below:

UK: PANDAS - 0808 1961 776

Samaritans – 116 123

For emergency help - call 999 or visit your local A&E department

US: Postpartum Support International - 1-800-944-4773(4PPD)

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