183 Embrace Your HSP Difference
04/10/24 • 21 min
Growing up highly sensitive, many of us missed the opportunity of individuation, or differentiation at a young age – what Margaret Mahler refers to as “hatching”. Because of this, we learned to cope and often hide our highly sensitive difference. We developed coping mechanisms of pushing or hiding (or moving back and forth between pushing and hiding) as a way to adapt rather than embrace our uniqueness and differences. Although this an understandable response we developed to keep ourselves safe when we were younger, now it’s time to stop feeling confused and believing you need to deny who you really are in order to be successful in business and life. Everything is now meant to be done differently.
In this podcast episode, I read an excerpt from my book “Different”, where I vulnerably share my struggle to write my book. I came to realize I was guided to write it because I was meant to teach HSPs not just how to market and sell in their business differently, but how to step up and lead as a highly sensitive to create greater impact (and income) with a lot less effort through these extraordinary times. I also discuss Margaret Mahler’s concept of hatching – a process of separation, individuation and differentiation – and the four sub-phases in this process. I go into more detail on the differentiation phase and speak to how this specifically impacts highly sensitives and our unique journey in this world as HSPs in business and leadership.
“I knew I had been training for the exceptional times of 2020 for my whole life.” – Heather Dominick
Listen and Learn:
- 7:38: How to embrace your HSP difference
- 9:45: Can you stop being overwhelmed by others’ emotions
- 11:40: How to define hatching
- 12:37: What are the four sub-phases of hatching
- 14:04: Why was the concept of hatching controversial
- 15:37: What happens when you are highly sensitive but your parents are not
- 17:42: What is the more important area for focus and growth right now
- 18:12: How to connect with what inspires you“Quote.” – Guest Name / Heather Dominick
“It’s time to stop pretending your intuition is less valuable than logic.” – Heather Dominick
Links and Resources:
- Get your copy of Heather’s book DIFFERENT: The Highly Sensitive Leadership Revolution: http://www.differentthebook.com
- Get your copy of the HSE Training Kit: Survive to Thrive: http://www.shiftfromsurvivetothrive.com
- Get your copy of the HSE Assessment and Success Guide: http://www.myhsetype.com
Learn more about this episode of Business Miracles at https://www.businessmiracles.com/183
Growing up highly sensitive, many of us missed the opportunity of individuation, or differentiation at a young age – what Margaret Mahler refers to as “hatching”. Because of this, we learned to cope and often hide our highly sensitive difference. We developed coping mechanisms of pushing or hiding (or moving back and forth between pushing and hiding) as a way to adapt rather than embrace our uniqueness and differences. Although this an understandable response we developed to keep ourselves safe when we were younger, now it’s time to stop feeling confused and believing you need to deny who you really are in order to be successful in business and life. Everything is now meant to be done differently.
In this podcast episode, I read an excerpt from my book “Different”, where I vulnerably share my struggle to write my book. I came to realize I was guided to write it because I was meant to teach HSPs not just how to market and sell in their business differently, but how to step up and lead as a highly sensitive to create greater impact (and income) with a lot less effort through these extraordinary times. I also discuss Margaret Mahler’s concept of hatching – a process of separation, individuation and differentiation – and the four sub-phases in this process. I go into more detail on the differentiation phase and speak to how this specifically impacts highly sensitives and our unique journey in this world as HSPs in business and leadership.
“I knew I had been training for the exceptional times of 2020 for my whole life.” – Heather Dominick
Listen and Learn:
- 7:38: How to embrace your HSP difference
- 9:45: Can you stop being overwhelmed by others’ emotions
- 11:40: How to define hatching
- 12:37: What are the four sub-phases of hatching
- 14:04: Why was the concept of hatching controversial
- 15:37: What happens when you are highly sensitive but your parents are not
- 17:42: What is the more important area for focus and growth right now
- 18:12: How to connect with what inspires you“Quote.” – Guest Name / Heather Dominick
“It’s time to stop pretending your intuition is less valuable than logic.” – Heather Dominick
Links and Resources:
- Get your copy of Heather’s book DIFFERENT: The Highly Sensitive Leadership Revolution: http://www.differentthebook.com
- Get your copy of the HSE Training Kit: Survive to Thrive: http://www.shiftfromsurvivetothrive.com
- Get your copy of the HSE Assessment and Success Guide: http://www.myhsetype.com
Learn more about this episode of Business Miracles at https://www.businessmiracles.com/183
Previous Episode
182 Staying Above the Fray
As a highly sensitive person, our neuro-sensitivity is not going away. So, if you are allowing your business or career and life to be dictated by socialized trends, then you are setting yourself up to be in a constant state of anxiety. The focus we want, in order to avoid the comparison traps and pressures of socialized trends, is on how to be able to not only manage our sensitivity, but utilize it in a way that really allows us to show up in business and leadership in the world from a place of highly sensitive strength.
In this podcast episode, I discuss the importance of staying above the fray of socialized trends, especially as a highly sensitive in business and leadership. I share how our social self is born as a response to pressure from the world around us. And how if we stay stuck in this comparison trap we are privileging anxiety instead of choosing privilege of agency. Most importantly, I share what you can do instead.
“If you are allowing your business to be dictated by socialized trends, if you are allowing your work, your career to be dictated by socialized trends...if you are allowing your life to be dictated by socialized trends as a person who is highly sensitive, you are setting yourself up to be in a constant state of anxiety. You are setting yourself up to be in constant motion with the coping cycle and constant tug of war with resistance.” – Heather Dominick
Listen and Learn:
- 2:48: How does research on neuro-sensitivity apply to highly sensitive people
- 4:36: What does it mean to stay above the fray of socialized trends
- 11:52: How does staying above the fray connect to privilege of agency
- 16:06: What is required to stay above the fray of socialized trends
“This is not the time in our world to be giving in to the fray of socialized trends, the fear, the anxiety, the divisiveness, and it is not the time to flake out. It is the time to choose to recognize we are in a new world now, my friends, if you’re waiting for it to be over, it’s going to be a long wait.” – Heather Dominick
Links and Resources:
- Get your copy of Heather’s book DIFFERENT: The Highly Sensitive Leadership Revolution: http://www.differentthebook.com
- Get your copy of the HSE Training Kit: Stop The Overwhelm: http://www.stoptheoverwhelm.com
- Get your copy of the HSE Assessment and Success Guide: http://www.myhsetype.com
Learn more about this episode of Business Miracles at https://www.businessmiracles.com/182
Next Episode
184 Fuel Your Magnificence
In the journey of becoming and being an HSP in business and leadership, it’s important to consistently engage in the process of shifting from an untrained HSP to a trained HSP. All in order to create with more ease. However, as HSPs we often get caught up in the false belief that in order to succeed in business and leadership we need to do it the same way as the other 80% who are not highly sensitive. So we forgo the value of paced process in exchange for “playing a bigger game hustle” which tends to toss us into the HSP Coping Cycle of Fear/Anxiety/Pushing/Hiding/Shame/Recovery, rather than motivating us to create productively.
In this podcast episode, I read an excerpt from my book “Different”, where I share my experience of feeling overwhelmed by the common coaching industry phrase of “play a bigger game” and how it triggered feelings of ‘not enough’ for me rather than motivating me to create more. I discuss how rather than pushing yourself to hustle to play a bigger game, you can access your inner magnitude, the HSP part of you that is connected to inner guidance and the magic of the universe. I share how you can access this part of you through self-inquiry to claim what truly inspires you. To then let this inspiration fuel, motivate, and encourage you to tap into your strengths and create from this space, rather than hustling to try to be someone you’re not and crashing as a result.
“We are the balance to the other 80 percent.” – Heather Dominick
Listen and Learn:
- 3:38: How do highly sensitive people try to protect themselves
- 5:08: How does Business Miracles describe the Holy Spirit
- 8:34: Where should you focus your energy right now
- 17:27: Which questions to ask to check in with yourself
- 20:33: How do most highly sensitive people function
“Though being of service is one of our greatest motivators as highly sensitive entrepreneurs and highly sensitive leaders and is thoroughly rewarding...it takes a fierce due diligence commitment. ” – Heather Dominick
Links and Resources:
- Get your copy of Heather’s book DIFFERENT: The Highly Sensitive Leadership Revolution: http://www.differentthebook.com
- Get your copy of the HSE Training Kit: Survive to Thrive: http://www.shiftfromsurvivetothrive.com
- Get your copy of the HSE Assessment and Success Guide: http://www.myhsetype.com
Learn more about this episode of Business Miracles at https://www.businessmiracles.com/184
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