Breathing Wind

Cheryl Jones prepared for 10 years for her first wife’s passing. She did this in a way that was true to her and true to how they chose to live. This prepared her to be able to support others. In this episode, Sarah talks with Cheryl about her caregiving journey, her different experiences with loss after her wife died and how her children dealt with the loss.

Cheryl Jones is a grief counselor, educator and the host of Good Grief, a podcast about transformation after loss. She is also the author of a novel, An Ocean Between Them. Cheryl’s work is informed by the ten years of her first wife’s life limiting illness. Expected to live six months to a year, she lived with cancer for almost a decade. In the losses Cheryl has experienced since then she has been grateful for what she learned about facing loss and finding greater meaning in her life as a result. Cheryl lives in Oakland with her second wife and is grateful for three children, 3 grandchildren and the wonder of living.

In this 40-minute episode, Cheryl and Sarah talk about:

• 2:03: Caregiving for her first wife for 10 years, who was diagnosed with multiple myeloma
• 4:30: “You can’t be prepared for grief, but you can prepare.”
• 5:52: Role of community in Cheryl’s caregiving experience
• 9:53: How finding a coordinator to manage help from the community was crucial
• 11:00: They made lists for delineating the type of help people could provide
• 14:19: The role of anticipatory grief in their relationship
• 17:30: The support Cheryl sought spiritually and emotionally to prepare for loss
• 25:38: How being present during her partner’s death helped her help her parents when they needed caregiving at the end of their lives
• 29:39: How her daughters dealt with the loss of her first wife and how they prepared them with honesty about death
• 35:32: “You can have a sense of direction in these areas, by looking at people who have been where you are, and gotten to a different place. But that doesn't mean you can make yourself get to a different place. It has to unfold in its own time and its own way.”

This episode is part of a Breathing Wind miniseries titled Caregiving Journey, hosted by Breathing Wind founder and host, Sarah Davis. The Caregiving Journey miniseries explores:

• How stories of other caregivers can help us feel less alone
• Ambiguous grief and caregiving at end of life
• The shifting roles of the caregiver
• How and why to seek self-care
• Joy in the caregiving journey

To find out more about this episode and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

Connect with us on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

“Chemo was really hard. But there were really good days too – they weren't the best feeling healthy days – but there was something that happened on those days. You suddenly have the shift in perspective of appreciating the smallest things, because when you have something that's knocking you, sideways, weekly – I was having chemo every week for 12 weeks – when you have a good moment, the world is more colorful, and everything becomes more incredible. And I got to push my kids on a swing and I was out of bed! All those things become just what living is all about.”

- Carly Moosah

This episode is part of a Breathing Wind miniseries titled Finding Unexpected Joy, hosted by Sarah Davis. The Finding Unexpected Joy miniseries explores the idea that joy can happen in the midst of grief, and that maybe we don’t know yet what might come out of our grief journeys.

In this episode, Sarah talks with Carly Moosah about her mom’s cancer diagnosis and then coming to terms with her own, her perspective on joy in the midst of cancer treatment, and advice she provides for others undergoing cancer treatment. Carly is the co-founder of www.keepemquiet.com, a writer/blogger, breast cancer advocate & survivor, and mum of two. She’s based out of London.

Carly and Sarah talk about:

• Carly’s family history of breast cancer and her mother's experience
• Carly’s fear of cancer and how she shifted her perception toward that of fascination
• How she speaks to her kids about cancer, versus how her mom spoke to her
• Cancer’s warrior mode
• Carly’s advice for listeners

Related resources:

• Carly’s Instagram
• Carly’s Linktr.ee
• Carly’s interview on The Motherless
• Mum Guilt, article in Future Dreams by Carly
• Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe

To find out more about this episode and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

Connect with us on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

"Something that I didn't have any sense of before...was happiness was up here and grief was down here, where it's really not. It's a universal human experience to lose. If we can recognize that we're all going through similar things and be able to share that, I think it's very healing."

~ Dan Fischer

In this week’s episode, Dan Fischer reflects on his journey of grieving the deaths of his dad and his dog Rudy, his best friend of 15 years. He recalls how a moment of vulnerability unexpectedly created a community of grievers willing to be vulnerable, too, as they find comfort and healing in connection — and in sharing stories of their loved ones who have died with Fischer, who writes their names on specially shaped surfboards he takes out into the ocean to honor their memories. Fischer’s One Last Wave Project is not only a way for him to celebrate his dad and their love of adventure, it also reminds him of the universality of grief and loss, the beauty of intentionally connecting to our loved ones, even when it hurts, and the power of openly admitting when we’re not OK.

To find out more about this episode, listen to the episodes referenced, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

Want more time with us? Join our Patreon.

“I think some of the clearest decisions I've ever made have come in the aftermath of grief.” ~Naila Francis

In this episode, we look back on our enchanting and insightful conversation with Mara June, an educator, facilitator, community weaver, writer, caregiver, death doula and community herbalist. Reflecting on her deep belief in the creative energy inherent in grieving, we discuss grief’s transformative power in our lives and some of the ways we’ve been creatively called to change how we show up in the world. For Sarah, that included re-evaluating her career and the work she was doing, and for Naila, transformation came in waves affecting many areas of her life. As we’ve done across several episodes, we circle back to the presence of joy as part of grief and in particular how grief opens us up to feel more alive by giving us access to the full range of our emotions. We also acknowledge, with gratitude to Mara for naming this, numbness as part of grieving, and explore the idea of bringing tenderness and beauty to death, even in challenging circumstances, as Naila was able to do at her dad’s deathbed, and as Sarah has continued to do by nurturing a connection that was meaningful to her own father. We hope this conversation invites you to make a little more room for your grief and to be gentle with all the changes your journey may be calling you to. As always, we’d love to hear what moved or resonated with you, and we thank you for allowing us to be companions on your journey.

To find out more about this episode, listen to the episodes referenced, and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

Who is advocating for cancer awareness in your state? What is their story? In this episode, Kandis Draw and I have a conversation about her caregiving and cancer advocacy. Kandis Draw lives in Chicago, is a classically trained pianist and a lover of philanthropy. She is a member of the Aids Foundation of Chicago Associate Board, Gilda’s Club Chicago Associate Board, and is an active National Advocate for the Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance. She has written articles for NOCC National, and Splash Magazine. She writes a column at Curvicality Magazine which is an online magazine focusing on body positivity for plus-sized women. She lost her mom to ovarian cancer in 2014 and since then, has been advocating for ovarian cancer awareness.

This episode is part of a Breathing Wind miniseries titled Caregiving Journey, hosted by Breathing Wind founder and host, Sarah Davis. The Caregiving Journey miniseries explores:

• How stories of other caregivers can help us feel less alone
• Ambiguous grief and caregiving at end of life
• The shifting roles of the caregiver
• How and why to seek self-care
• Joy in the caregiving journey

In this ~28-minute episode, Kandis describes:

• [1:26] How Kandis became a caregiver to her mom with late-stage ovarian cancer
• [2:24] Ovarian cancer is harder to detect than other gynecological cancers
• [3:54] Caregiving is a full-time job
• [5:28] How Kandis discovered her community of supporters
• [7:24] Kandis’ mom did not choose the traditional route of cancer treatment
• [8:37] The value of venting to understanding friends
• [9:45] Sandwich caregiving: how she assumed both roles as a mother-figure to her brother and sister while caring for her mom
• [11:54] Kandis’ caregiving tips
• [15:26] Kandis’ advocacy work and how it helped her find meaning in her loss
• [20:00] Caregiving and then finding work afterward is not easy
• [24:17] Kandis’ encouragement to utilize resources as cancer caregivers

To find out more about this episode and subscribe to the newsletter, visit the show notes.

Connect with us on social media:

Facebook

Instagram