Selfishness - The Ultimate Act of Self Love with Dr. Marcuetta Sims

03/02/21 • 52 min

From as early as childhood, we have been taught to be generous with our time and energy. Any hint of selfishness is frowned upon. Even with our careers, we learn that being a team player is critical to our success. Today, Dr. Marcuetta Sims, a licensed psychologist specializing in helping Black women and people from marginalized identities heal from trauma, develop a healthier sense of Self, and enhance their overall wellness, discusses the costs of this generosity. Dr. Sims has created an online platform empowering Black women to care for themselves, The Art of Being Self-ish. She is also the founder of the The Worth, Wisdom, and Wellness Center. We chat about setting boundaries in personal and professional settings, addressing violations of those boundaries, and reframing underlying beliefs that cause us to deprioritize ourselves.

Find links and show notes at https://breakconcrete.com/bc038.

Topics Covered:

Defining selfishness
How selfishness may serve the collective good and help us to develop a healthy sense of Self
Why Dr. Sims started the online platform, The Art of Being Selfish
Understanding and setting boundaries
Consequences of failing to set boundaries
Communicating your boundaries to others
Counteracting feelings of guilt when putting yourself first
How to say “No” and prioritize your interests
Recognizing your limitations and asking for help
Addressing violations of your boundaries in the workplace
How remote work can challenge our boundaries
Being selfish about salary negotiations
Reframing inhibiting underlying beliefs

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Twitter https://twitter.com/BreakConcrete/

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E-mail feedback to [email protected].

If you like this episode, please leave a review and rating.

Find links and show notes at https://breakconcrete.com/bc038.

Topics Covered:

Defining selfishness
How selfishness may serve the collective good and help us to develop a healthy sense of Self
Why Dr. Sims started the online platform, The Art of Being Selfish
Understanding and setting boundaries
Consequences of failing to set boundaries
Communicating your boundaries to others
Counteracting feelings of guilt when putting yourself first
How to say “No” and prioritize your interests
Recognizing your limitations and asking for help
Addressing violations of your boundaries in the workplace
How remote work can challenge our boundaries
Being selfish about salary negotiations
Reframing inhibiting underlying beliefs

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/breakconcrete/

Twitter https://twitter.com/BreakConcrete/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/breakconcrete/

E-mail feedback to [email protected].

If you like this episode, please leave a review and rating.

Previous Episode

Improving Health Outcomes with Black Doctors with Dr. Marilyn Gaston and Dr. Gayle Porter

Research suggests that Black patients experience better health outcomes when treated by Black doctors. In today’s episode, Dr. Marilyn Gaston, a physician and researcher, and Dr. Gayle Porter, a clinical psychologist, join to chat about their trailblazing careers spent working to improve the physical and emotional health of families, especially those who are poor, minority, and underserved. They also share how they successfully build trusting relationships within communities of color. Drs. Gaston and Porter are the authors of the groundbreaking book, Prime Time: The African American Woman’s Complete Guide to Midlife Health and Wellness and have designed Sister Circles, which have proven effective in helping women develop stress management techniques, improve nutrition, and increase physical activity.

Find links and show notes at https://breakconcrete.com/bc037.

Topics Covered:

Why Drs. Gaston and Porter pursued medicine despite a dearth of Black female doctors
Dr. Gaston’s contributions to sickle cell research
Advancing community-centered medicine
Why Black patients may have better health outcomes when treated by Black doctors
Building trust in doctor-patient relationships
Drs. Gaston and Porter’s efforts to educate the Black community about the COVID-19 vaccine
Common pre-existing health conditions in Black women and their causes
Common stressors affecting Black women
How chronic stress impacts our physical and mental health
How professional relationships can contribute to stress
Dr. Gaston’s and Dr. Porter’s experiences being the first and only in academic and professional settings
How Drs. Gaston and Porter have dealt with racism and sexism in the workplace
The importance of assertiveness training
Why the health of women in mid-life have been overlooked
Why Drs. Gaston and Porter decided to write Prime Time: The African American Woman’s Complete Guide to Midlife Health and Wellness and how it was received
How Prime Time Sister Circles are helping Black women improve their physical and emotional health

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/breakconcrete/

Twitter https://twitter.com/BreakConcrete/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/breakconcrete/

E-mail feedback to [email protected].

If you like this episode, please leave a review and rating.

Next Episode

The (In)Visibility of Black Muslim Womanhood with Vanessa Taylor

“As a Black Muslim woman, it gets very exhausting to exist in a world that projects onto you.” In this episode, Vanessa Taylor, a Philadelphia-based writer and the founder and editor-in-chief of the Drinking Gourd, a Black Muslim literary magazine, discusses the paradox of Black Muslim womanhood - being simultaneously hypervisible and invisible. Within that nuance, Black Muslim women carve out spaces where they embrace their multiple identities as Black, Muslim, and women while resisting the impulse of others to reduce their multi-dimensionality. Vanessa chats about this spirit of resistance: how Black Muslims challenge anti-Blackness within the Muslim community and Islamophobia within the Black community, and how she, as a Black Muslim woman, navigates her multiple identities to take up space and create spaces where she and other Black Muslim women can thrive.

Find links and show notes at https://breakconcrete.com/bc039.

Topics Covered:

Why Vanessa converted to Islam
The history of government surveillance of Black Muslims and Islamophobia in the United States
The paradox of hypervisibility and invisibility of Black Muslims
How Muslims have created their own spaces to resist surveillance
Questions of authenticity and legitimacy of Black Muslimhood
Anti-Blackness within the Muslim community
How Black Muslim women navigate their multiple identities (race, gender, religion) to take up and create their own space
Defining modest fashion and Black women’s contributions to modest fashion
The co-optation of Black Muslim style
Why Vanessa developed the Drinking Gourd
The meaning of the title the Drinking Gourd
How Vanessa breaks concrete