Conflict Kills Productivity (& Relationships)

11/01/16 • 27 min

There are times we find ourselves watching or smack in the middle of a disagreement. What happens when everyone is against us? That’s what we’re going to dig into today. It’s easy to stand on the outside and be supportive, provide guidance, even facilitate...but when the tables are turned...we might be the one that is right and everyone else is wrong. Or, we might be right and so is everyone else. It takes self awareness to recognize that there is more than one path to solve a problem and get to the end goal. It takes willingness to be curious to figure out if there is a way that supports everyone’s perspective ... or build consensus on a combined idea that might not make everyone happy yet is clearly what’s necessary for the situation.

Starting the conversation...

What do you do when no one else agrees with you?

It’s easy to stand on the outside and be supportive, provide guidance, even facilitate...but when the tables are turned...we might be the one that is right and everyone else is wrong. Or, we might be right and so is everyone else. It takes self awareness to recognize that there is more than one path to solve a problem and get to the end goal.

Host: Jessica Dewell

What you will hear:

What we do when people don’t agree with us.

What, how, where...avoid WHY. (Why creates defensiveness.)

Go forward when no one else is with us.

Do we ask for help - even if different thinkers? ...Sometimes.

When like-ability trumps productivity.

When the leader is the bottleneck - because leaders don’t want to develop.

HBR article summary: Competent Jerks and Loveable Fools.

Approachability and pressure.

Teams don’t have one weak link.

Communication (or lack of) patterns what the team will talk about.

The more open, and real, communication is within a group, increases value of each person.

Albert Einstein: “I speak to everyone the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”

Leaders stop and pause before responding.

It’s hard speak up (and the excuses we tell ourselves).

When we don’t communicate (in agreement and disagreement), burnout is the result.

We have to have courage to have a voice that is different that everyone else.

Notable & Quotable

Jessica Dewell: The purpose of being on a team..is BEING on the team. We can still disagree.

Jessica Dewell: The wrong time is the exact right time to avoid a bigger mistake down the road.

Jessica Dewell: Every link in a chain has a strong point in a weak point.

Jessica Dewell: Speak up for the best in others.

Jessica Dewell: Part of productivity, sometimes what needs to be said...needs to be said.

Jessica Dewell: There is a when and a how to say what needs to be said.

Resources

Halt and Catch Fire

Competent Jerks and Loveable Fools

Is silence killing your company?

Tags: conflict, resolution, disagreement, defensiveness, relationships, weak link, conflict resolution, team building, communication, leader, development, strengths, weaknesses, skills, achievement, respect, emotion management, agreeableness, productivity, courage

Starting the conversation...

What do you do when no one else agrees with you?

Host: Jessica Dewell

What you will hear:

What we do when people don’t agree with us.

What, how, where...avoid WHY. (Why creates defensiveness.)

Go forward when no one else is with us.

Do we ask for help - even if different thinkers? ...Sometimes.

When like-ability trumps productivity.

When the leader is the bottleneck - because leaders don’t want to develop.

HBR article summary: Competent Jerks and Loveable Fools.

Approachability and pressure.

Teams don’t have one weak link.

Communication (or lack of) patterns what the team will talk about.

The more open, and real, communication is within a group, increases value of each person.

Albert Einstein: “I speak to everyone the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”

Leaders stop and pause before responding.

It’s hard speak up (and the excuses we tell ourselves).

When we don’t communicate (in agreement and disagreement), burnout is the result.

We have to have courage to have a voice that is different that everyone else.

Notable & Quotable

Jessica Dewell: The purpose of being on a team..is BEING on the team. We can still disagree.

Jessica Dewell: The wrong time is the exact right time to avoid a bigger mistake down the road.

Jessica Dewell: Every link in a chain has a strong point in a weak point.

Jessica Dewell: Speak up for the best in others.

Jessica Dewell: Part of productivity, sometimes what needs to be said...needs to be said.

Jessica Dewell: There is a when and a how to say what needs to be said.

Resources

Halt and Catch Fire

Competent Jerks and Loveable Fools

Is silence killing your company?

Previous Episode

The Impact of Commitment

We all grew up and learned lessons from our childhood. In fact we’re still learning lessons now (yet in both cases, the level of actual value varies). Whatever we learned to survive, to create, to support, to be seen...or not directly relates to our definition of commitment. It directly impacts how we do commitment. There are three facets to commitment that directly relate to business that we talk about on this program:

1. The definition of commitment; 2. Aesop’s fable The Crow and the Pitcher; 3. Commitment is a character strength.

Starting the conversation...

When is the right time to keep the boundary of commitment?
When do we question our understanding of commitment?
Whatever we learned to survive, to create, to support, to be seen...or not directly relates to our definition of commitment. It directly impacts how we do commitment.

Host: Jessica Dewell

What you will hear:

Commitment is a mindset.

The definition of commitment: promise to do something, loyalty, and/or attitude.

What we expect of ourself and others comes from our personal experience.

Resistance can crop up when asked to commit.

The ways commitment problems show up and what we can do.

What does commitment mean to you? A barometer to check in.

Aesop's Fable: The Crow and the Pitcher

Try something and wait to see results.

Bring in the 3 definitions of commitment into a single idea.

Approaches building skills.

Stick to the plan until information is available to evaluate.

Every action moves us toward or away from our goal.

Planning is part of having our commitment.

Regardless of skills and work style - having a common understanding of the goal to work from.

Level of commitment shows through in action and word.

Commitment is a character trait.

Find the story to find out what’s been tried and try something different.

Under promise and over deliver ... has changed and is different today.

“The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment" - Tony Robins

Disconnect in priorities. Right project, wrong communication.

Additional skills that contribute to commitment: loyalty, courtesy, respect, approachability, coach-ability.

Notable & Quotable

Jessica Dewell: We experience positive feelings when we add value and actively contribute to something bigger than ourselves.

Jessica Dewell: Its in our unique experiences that give our perspectives on life.

Jessica Dewell: How we define commitment relates to how we show up.

Jessica Dewell: We know we can believe in someone when they do what they say they will.

Jessica Dewell: Is where we are going really where we want to end?

Jessica Dewell: Stick with it long enough to see a result.

Resources

Tags: commitment, promise, loyalty, quality, attitude, work ethic, problem solving, perspective, tenacity, results, uncomfortable, unknown, evaluate, data, planning, prioritize, communication, shared meaning, common ground, imagination, challenge, questionability, loyalty, courtesy, respect, approachability, coach-ability

Next Episode

The Most Important Business Investment

What is the most important investment for a business? That is the topic of today’s conversation. Leaders discuss what matters most, right now and how their business is laser focused on it. Can you just pick one thing? This panel did it. It’s difficult to have so many daily tasks and monthly responsibilities, that putting focus on the right action right now. While hard to do, its important to understand how what we do today impacts what we can do in the future.

Starting the conversation...

What is THE best investment for your company right now?

Good To Great p 51 “Nucor rejected the old adage that people are your most important asset. In a good to great transformation, people are not your most important asset, the RIGHT people are.”

Host: Jessica Dewell Panel: Carmen Rojas, Joel Dawson

What you will hear:

Invest in our business...now.

Testing and finishing core areas to invest in.

Communication between sales and marketing.

How to best use all the information available to us - cross department.

Quality or quantity: two very different focuses.

Communication of written and unwritten agreement. Gap between what we say will we do and what actually happens.

What finishing strong looks and feels like - the experience of it.

4 ways to motivate people, your custom combination builds on your culture.

Shared meaning is more than using the same words.

Leaders be on the same page about ‘what are we doing.’

Document: What have we learned? How does it add value?

Ruthlessness, unawareness, of the communication between sales and marketing.

Marketing and sales together train customers, and together they can change behaviors.

Work is rigorous and courageous. (And, what that means).

What the important business investment is 18 months from now.

Notable & Quotable

Carmen Rojas: Chivalry is not dead.

Carmen Rojas: Give self space to make a mistake and go back and fix it.

Joel Dawson: We want to finish strong in the last quarter of the year.

Joel Dawson: We have to finish strong.

Jessica Dewell: It comes down to how we prepare what we say, the words we use, and model what we do.

Joel Dawson: When everyone is on the same page, the tension goes away and it is more profitable.

Jessica Dewell: Create independence at every level.

Carmen Rojas: Know what you want. Do you want quality or quantity of leads.

Jessica Dewell: What we actually model for ourselves and teams matter.

Carmen Rojas: End of year pushes for the end of the year start in June for marketing.

Joel Dawson: Being a leader is not for the faint of heart.

Jessica Dewell: We can still by the seat of our pants but we have to know what direction we are flying.

Resources

Good To Great

Tags: business development, growth, focus, attention, results, testability, sales, think time, people, action, accomplishment, recognition, motivation, relatable, shared meaning, feedback loops, leads, value, accountability, steadfastness, consistent, courageous, brave,