EP#24: MEGS ~ inner conflicts of motherhood

The highest highs, the lowest lows. The elation seeing a positive test, followed by the terrible grief of miscarriage. Trying to become pregnant again, yet unable to accept the fact when it happens. A physically healthy twin pregnancy, filled with anxiety. Needing help, but not wanting it when it arrives. Instagram vs the reality of life with newborns. The torture of two cries and having to decide who first. Wanting to do it all yourself and the guilt when it is impossible. Feeling entirely in love with your babies, yet wondering “why did we rush this”? Meg’s journey to motherhood is full of the contradictions and inner conflicts that are relatable to so many mothers. Together, we dive into them all and discover how Megs is navigating them all with her two beautiful boys.

In this episode we talk about:

• A stressful eight months trying to conceive
• First ever panic attack
• Losing a first baby: the deep and enduring grief
• The role of social media in shaping unrealistic expectations inducing unnecessary stress
• A very quick second conception
• Struggling to accept the second pregnancy after prior loss
• Chose to live in ignorance as long as possible as a coping mechanism
• Finding out there were two heart beats
• High intensity cognitive behavioural therapy due to high levels of anxiety and disbelief
• Two weeks miscarriage leave from work
• Heart burn and acid reflux
• Becoming proud of your stretch marks
• Weight gain post birth
• Struggling with the idea of a caesarian
• Why the anaesthetist is your best friend during a c-section
• When baby is taken to intensive care
• Holding both babies for the first time, at three days old
• Tube feeding and jaundice
• The car journey home on a sunny Easter Sunday
• Taking it day by day, nappy by nappy, feed by feed
• Envy of those with one baby
• A brutal reality check
• Breastfeeding and pumping for twins
• Need help so badly but finding it so hard to see someone else looking after your baby
• The torture of hearing two cries and having to choose