Billow Waggle Dangle

BWD #63: How Not To Seduce Women (PLAY EPISODE)

In part 2 of Luke and Gabby’s episode, we talk about how, when it comes to dating, women don’t know rejection like men do AND WE’LL TELL YOU WHY; Ian talks about getting humiliated by a chica on the prowl in Barcelona; and Luke talks more about the amazing weirdness of Burning Man.

BWD #49: Two Large White Guys Solve Everything (PLAY EPISODE)

The ghost of my great-grandfather returns to the show to shoot the shit and answer some troubling questions, such as:

• What’s something you’ve seen and wish you hadn’t? (Hocus Pocus with Bette Midler, and many, many things on the internet)
• Have you ever done a 180 on an issue you felt strongly about? (Merging on the freeway)
• What’s a nonsexual thing a girl has done that was a huge turn-on? (Calling you on your shit, buying you a drink, playing through a football game with a broken hand)
• What is one of the worst/most spiteful things you’ve ever done? (Slipping porn into cars at the mall)
• Two large white guys with shaved heads going to a lesbian bar? MIXED RESULTS.
• Being male and growing up without getting all screwed up: Harder than you’d think!
• Do we remember the first porno we ever saw? You betcha? You betcha. 

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BWD #57: Driving While Black (Pt.2) (PLAY EPISODE)

In part two of this episode, Gavin, Thomas and I use our faceholes to talk about:

• Detroit is now a bankrupt, Mad Max vampire pleasuredome
• EUR, Rome is a the Detroit of Italy
• The delightful experience of being in the same room with several of your ex-sensual bedding partners
• Dolphins are perverts, but then again, humans are too. Required reading for this episode: “Wet Goddess”, by Malcom J. Brenner
• The problems with unions and bad tippers
• How it’s probably not hard to get a blowjob in the homeless community
• Quote of the Episode: “I don’t think she has the vaginal musculature to project piss in such a manner.” - Gavin

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BWD #61: Film Title Improv! (PLAY EPISODE)

On today’s episode stand-up comedians Kevin Clarke and Travis Vogt star in Film Title Improv, a game in which we make up ridiculous film titles such as “Soylent Peen”, "President Dinosaur" and "Tell Them Sass Macklemore Sent Me", and then improv what these fantastic ideas might be sound like. WAIT! Don’t you move a muscle. Are you imagining how great it’s going to be? Yes? Good. NOW TIMES THAT BY TEN. You’re welcome. 

Check out Kevin and Travis’ many, many hilarious videos on their Funny or Die page. You can also check them out on Wonder and Risk, where Kevin reviews bizarre movies and Travis teaches children lies about animals with his Kritter Korner column. 

Check out one of my favorites, The Celebrity Shorthand Index. How will you know how to abbreviate celebrities’ names otherwise?

BWD #48: Esteemed All-Father and local shaman Craig Hanson (PLAY EPISODE)

Esteemed all-father and local shaman Craig Hanson and I talk about:

• The unsettling ambiguity of dating and picking up girls in bars, as well as Craig’s online dating success story (he married her!)
• The pros and cons of having kids. Pros: They might be the next Bill Gates? Cons: They might probably be shitty.
• Finding porn in the woods
• How awful the South is
• Kissing dudes, and eating bugs
• Ian’s desire to be killed by a falling grand piano
• We also answer three of our listeners’ questions:

1. Charles Hickey: If you had to choose one, would it be long and thin or short and thick?
2. Matthew Wilson: You’re going to the moon for a year and can only bring one personal object. What do you bring?
3. Luke Walker: If you were a mad geneticist and could alter the DNA of your child with one animal trait knowing that the child would have to attend public schools with whatever freakishness resulted, within the laws of physics and the natural world, what would it be and why?

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