#60 - Quick Tips #8: Do Children Have a Right to Set Boundaries?

A listener wanted to know if her child has a right to decide who, when, and how she plays with her friends. Vicki answers this question, and offers some great tips on how to handle parents — or even family members — who criticize your child when she wants to set a boundary. If you're a parent or will become one in the future you, this is information about children and boundaries that you need to know.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #60:

• Children have a right to say no when they are asked to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable.
• When you tell your child they don't have a right to say no, you are teaching them to be a people-pleaser.
• As a parent, you are a role model to your children about their rights to set boundaries.
• Let your child know that you are proud of them for setting their boundaries.

Highlights from Episode #60:

• Welcome back to the show! Today’s episode is from a listener's question about do children have a right to set boundaries? [00:44]
• Vicki discusses why this is an important question for parents and anyone who will become a parent in the future. [01:12]
• The listener's question is about her daughter's choices about who she wants to play with and other parents' responses to her. [01:32]
• Vicki’s first thought about the parents criticizing the listener's daughter is that it is completely appropriate to distance yourself from these parents. [03:50]
• Children have a right to play with who they want to play with, and letting them make this choice teaches them boundaries and self care. [04:18]
• Reasons you don’t want to teach your child to be a people pleaser. [05:05]
• If you teach your child that they don’t have a right to say no, you lay the groundwork for potentially dangerous situations. [05:30]
• The best way to teach your children about boundaries is by your your own example. [07:57]
• Enforce your child's choices by letting her know she has the right to choose who she plays with. [09:55]
• Vicki’s suggestions what to say if your child is being criticized. [09:53]
• Let your child know that you are proud of her for letting others know what she wanted or needed. [12:30]
• If someone is being overtly abusive to your child, you have a right and responsibility to stop them. [13:14]
• By letting your child exercise her boundaries you are helping her develop her ability to keep herself safe. [13:56]

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast |Episode 58: Codependency and Boundaries