AuDHD Flourishing

I'm a naturally growth-oriented person... however, I often find myself changing or "fixing" things that others think are a problem. What happens when I reorient to what's actually important to me?

The self-help industry will happily sell us solutions, whether or not the problem was actually bothering us before we heard about it.

Many of us feel like we're struggling alone. But not only are most people silently struggling, many neurodivergent folks feel that they're uniquely broken. It's such a common experience!

It's totally fine to choose to change something about your life. However, it can be helpful to check in with yourself to make sure it's really what you want.

The questions I offered around choosing to change something (and especially purchasing a self-help product):

1. Is this actually causing me any harm?
2. Is it harming anyone at all? If yes, is that harm actually meaningful, or am I mostly being harmed by the shame around it?
3. If I changed this about myself, what might "better" look like? Is that definition or desire coming from me, or suggestions outside of myself?
4. Is paying attention to this popular "problem" keeping my attention away from anything deeply important to me? If I didn't put time, attention, or money into this, what might I want to do instead?
5. If I never changed again, would I (still) love and accept myself?

Here are the messages I need to hear:

• It's okay to take breaks from personal growth.
• It's okay to give up on changing things about yourself just because they might make other people more comfortable.
• It's okay to focus on what your body and mind actually want and need, whether or not those line up with messaging from people around you.
• I bet you're actually doing a great job with the circumstances you've been given.
• Even if you never change or fix another thing, I love and accept you.

Full Transcript here

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Nat Smith is a vulnerability coach, playwright, and connection witch. They're also my sibling, so you'll hear stories about our childhood.

Nat has known they're ADHD for years, and only recently has been exploring the label autistic. One reason it's been a slow realization: they don't experience it as a disorder and don't need a lot of external support day-to-day.

Because of that experience, we also touch on the "levels" of autism currently being given in diagnosis. Many Level 1 folks are never diagnosed. And while I would probably be labeled Level 1, I'm actually more Level 2... I've just managed to have family and partners meet my daily needs.

Nat's perspective is incredibly helpful for anyone who wonders what autism looks like when it's NOT an obviously disabling condition. This is where the word "Neurotype" is so useful!

Disclaimer:

And I would hope it goes without saying... every autistic person is different and has their own experience! Many if not most autistic people (and especially those who receive an official diagnosis) do experience autism as a disability for many reasons.

Nat's experience does not at all detract from that! AND I feel it's important for more autistic people to be "out," even if they have a less common presentation.

Resources:

• Nat mentioned Devon Price's book Laziness Does Not Exist and the article of the same name.
• Nat's Substack newsletter/articles
• Nat's Facebook
• AuDHD Flourishing newsletter

Full Transcript here

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Happy Autistic Pride Day, June 18th!

What are you proud of?

It doesn't negate any of our challenges, but it was fun to focus on what I love about my brain for a whole episode.

If you'd like to learn more about Love Your Brain, here 'tis!

Full Transcript here

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Big feelings may be harder for monotropic people to handle. And if you have significant sensory sensitivity, the physical sensations can be overwhelming as well.

This episode covers some of the ways I've been approaching grief and helplessness about Gaza.

Links mentioned in show:

1. Episode 15, How Feelings Work
2. Lisa Feldman Barrett's book How Emotions Are Made
3. Al Jazeera article, ‘It’s not human’: What a French doctor saw in Gaza as Israel invaded Rafah
4. Macklemore song Hind's Hall
5. Sign up for General Strike in US!

Resources:

1. Like Your Brain community space
2. Transcript Doc
3. Email Newsletter

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Being AuDHD + gifted is being an outlier of outliers. I'd guess most of us feel like aliens.

And even when we start to understand the shape of our experiences, it can feel overwhelming to even begin to order our understanding in a satisfying way. (Autoethnography, anyone?)

Our depth and intensity needs can be quite challenging to meet, especially if we have lower physiological capacity due to trauma/CPTSD, and other intersectional identities that are often marginalized/mistreated.

This became part one of two!

Mentioned in episode:

1. Some giftedness models:

• Rainforest mind
• Ruf's 5 levels
• InterGifted & HEPG

2. Neurocomplexity & PDA as existential intelligence

3. Autism/ADHD/Gifted Venn Diagram

4. Overexcitabilities & being "too much"

5. Ember Green's quick IQ doesn't exist overview + Aspie Supremacy deep dive (p.s. this video is 2 hrs long and made me cry a LOT bc of historical horrors... still worth it if/when you have the spoons)

Resources:

1. Transcript Doc
2. Email Newsletter: Nothing Wrong With Us
3. Like Your Brain community space (Patreon)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.