Ass Backwards

The Fast and the Furious. Our epic journey finally reaches its beginning.
RACE WARS! We end with the beginning. Somehow a franchise becomes celebrated for its multiculturalism while beginning with... a RACE WAR. Perhaps the most philosophically dense of the movies featuring meditations on the Duality of Ludacris, the Ur-Street Race, the three stages of a homophobic insult, and Letty's outfit providing the evolutionary missing link between the two types of Fast & Furious Women. Mike teaches us how to flirt while eating tuna fish & Brad offers up the Ballad of Lefty Krantz.
Lesson of the Episode: "Never blow your biscuit."

2 Fast 2 Furious but no 2 Live Crew?
A Franchise writ in Etch a Sketch. As we near the end/beginning of this series, we are backing into simpler stories, lower stakes & Old School Hollywood racism. This movie is what happens when Miami Vice & Dukes of Hazzard have a sloppy, racially-charged one night stand. Van Morrison & Umberto Eco swing by the podcast.
This episode's lesson: "Why Jump the Shark when you can Jump the Yacht?"

TOKYO DRIFT! JAPAN BEFORE JUVY!
The movie that should have killed the franchise. The Minority-Report -Goo Screenwriters gave themselves a fascinating challenge: Can we make a movie with equally grotesque racial & sexual stereotypes? Spoiler Alert: Racism wins. Is Kid Rock's biggest hit just Doo Wop with Angry Drums & a Meth problem? Sean, our low rent Brian joins the Yakuza before he gets over jet lag. Mike & Brad embrace cancellation as both have a moment of cultural misidentification.
Lesson of the Episode?:"By watching these movies backwards, Brad accidentally watched them in the correct order."

Fast & Furious. The movie too furious for definite articles!
This film shifted a sputtering series of gearhead movies onto the path to becoming a global phenomenon. The key? Screenplays written by three 14 year old boys in a Minority-Report-style vat of goo. Dom demonstrates Family by treating Letty like a one night stand! A Russian Nesting Funeral! Dom Toretto: Asphalt Psychic! Is the series Butt Infested or Butt infused? And was Eva Braun the Ultimate Ride or Die Bitch?
Lesson of the Episode: "The stupidest way to do something is always the best way to do it."

Fast Five. TRAIN ROBBERY!
The Fast & the Fugitive! Family on the Run, and the only thing that would make it better is Tommy Lee Jones. This week In fast physics, mass is determined by the density of the cool. Elena & Dom don't have sex onscreen, implying that their child is the product of Immaculate Domception.
This episode's lesson: "The worse the Father, the greater his right to name his child."