ArtHoles

Baglione, Mao, The Nooch... As adversaries emerge, lines are drawn, and words are exchanged. Really, really, ridiculous words with unimaginable fallout.
Caravaggio finds a brother figure in Onorio Longhi, even though his actual brother also lives in Rome. Onorio finds his merengue needs unfulfilled, but his hunger for violence satiated. And, Fillide finds out that some moms are checked out a bit early, while some co-workers check in behind your back.
Let your porny paintings become more violent, your devotional paintings become more public, and never, EVER let anybody disrespect your Cecco without a reckless attempt at retribution. After all, omnia vincit amore, right?

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How many Caterinas is a sufficient number of Caterinas? What’s the appropriate length of a baby Jesus arm? Is John of Austria the worst? Does a REAL Catholic uncontrollably vomit?

These are the questions we’ll tackle together in order to dig into the beginning of Michaelangelo Merisi’s life and career! That, and, I butcher Italian names, recklessly valuate the scudo, and justify the imprisonment of homeless people on a moated island (sorta). Manner-isn’t...amirite...?

Caravaggio finds a new home after maybe murdering somebody. But who would take in such a person? Turns out, lots of people. We’ll learn about Caravaggio’s artistic developments, including one painting that has a surprising connection to the show! We’ll also learn that sometimes, having your monkey cared for is more important than rebuilding a city.

If you were a genre painting, what kind of genre painting would you be? Would you have bursting figs and succulent cherries? Would you be a red-wine-drunk sex god? Or would you just steal stuff?

Just let your Soul Glo, meet a few Cardinal-Nephews, keep your lizard where it belongs, and, of course, watch out for horses.

One of the greatest and most enigmatic painters, born into an insane time. He was also a complete nightmare. This is the story of a man whose poor behavior was matched only by his ability to capture the human condition. It's also a story of extreme violence, tennis(?), two weird poems, and ridiculous amounts of enabling and privilege.

But, first, our story begins away in a manger... It then quickly flies off the rails when some Roman Emperors make bad decisions, a bunch of popes have rough days, and the fallout after the church’s needs outpace its wallet.

The Don Pepe Incident, a story about Lucy we’d all like to forget, nerd-ceremonies, and a complicated reunion. Then, things get really, really fancy. We’re finally wrapping up our story in the only way it’ll let us...weirdly.

Caravaggio breaks out of prison to reach the one person who will help him. He also makes more bad decisions, paints some stuff, hits the club, and pays the price.

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