
What Nobody Tells You About Dating When Sex Isn't Your Primary Attraction | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 38
Explicit content warning
03/13/25 • 35 min
Navigating the dating world as someone on the asexual spectrum comes with unique challenges that many dating platforms simply weren't designed to address. Drawing from decades of personal experience across various dating platforms, I'm pulling back the curtain on what it really means to date when sexual attraction isn't your primary motivation.
The digital dating landscape often feels like it was built exclusively for those seeking immediate physical connections. For demi-attracted and asexual-spectrum folks who experience attraction primarily through emotional and intellectual connection, this creates a fundamental disconnect. How do you communicate your needs in a profile limited to a few hundred characters? When should you disclose your identity to potential matches? And perhaps most importantly—how do you find partners who value connection over immediate gratification?
Through my journey across mainstream apps like Hinge, Bumble, and OkCupid to more alternative platforms like FetLife, I've developed strategies for authentic communication and boundary-setting. The reality is that even when you clearly label yourself as "asexual" or "demisexual" on your profile, most people won't understand what these terms mean—and fewer still will take the initiative to educate themselves.
This episode isn't just for those on the ace spectrum. Anyone struggling with dating app frustration, communication issues, or the challenge of authentically representing themselves online will find practical insights here. I explore everything from profile creation to disclosure timing, safe sex negotiations, and finding communities where deeper connections are valued.
Whether you identify as ace, are curious about different attraction styles, or simply want to understand a different perspective on dating, this raw and unfiltered conversation provides a window into dating differently in a hookup-oriented world. Ready to rethink how you approach connection? This is your invitation to join the discussion around the kinky campfire.
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at [email protected] or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
Come let us know what you think on IG - https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Navigating the dating world as someone on the asexual spectrum comes with unique challenges that many dating platforms simply weren't designed to address. Drawing from decades of personal experience across various dating platforms, I'm pulling back the curtain on what it really means to date when sexual attraction isn't your primary motivation.
The digital dating landscape often feels like it was built exclusively for those seeking immediate physical connections. For demi-attracted and asexual-spectrum folks who experience attraction primarily through emotional and intellectual connection, this creates a fundamental disconnect. How do you communicate your needs in a profile limited to a few hundred characters? When should you disclose your identity to potential matches? And perhaps most importantly—how do you find partners who value connection over immediate gratification?
Through my journey across mainstream apps like Hinge, Bumble, and OkCupid to more alternative platforms like FetLife, I've developed strategies for authentic communication and boundary-setting. The reality is that even when you clearly label yourself as "asexual" or "demisexual" on your profile, most people won't understand what these terms mean—and fewer still will take the initiative to educate themselves.
This episode isn't just for those on the ace spectrum. Anyone struggling with dating app frustration, communication issues, or the challenge of authentically representing themselves online will find practical insights here. I explore everything from profile creation to disclosure timing, safe sex negotiations, and finding communities where deeper connections are valued.
Whether you identify as ace, are curious about different attraction styles, or simply want to understand a different perspective on dating, this raw and unfiltered conversation provides a window into dating differently in a hookup-oriented world. Ready to rethink how you approach connection? This is your invitation to join the discussion around the kinky campfire.
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at [email protected] or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
Come let us know what you think on IG - https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Previous Episode

EP 49 | Taboo talks with a new friend! | Melanie Carolyn from Mom's Unboxed podcast
Join us for a riveting conversation at the Kinky Kampfire as we explore the kaleidoscopic experiences of kink, alternative lifestyles, and the colorful journey of non-monogamy. In this episode, we chat with Melanie Carolyn, the dynamic host of Moms Unboxed podcast, whose personal insights into bisexuality, swinging, and group play spark genuine and thought-provoking dialogues. Melanie candidly shares her journey of self-discovery and the thrills of exploring desires, illuminating the importance of communication and consent in every encounter.
Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when blending intimacy with autonomy. This episode delves into the intricate realities of nesting partners—how they can serve as emotional anchors in one's journey, contrasting beautifully with the ethos of solo poly lifestyles. Additionally, we dive into the significance of outside interests and mutual hobbies in fostering healthy relationships, as well as the challenges of melding both casual and serious connections without losing oneself in the process.
Every moment at the Kampfire invites laughter, reflection, and a deeper understanding of how we connect with others in this intricate dance of love and body. You're invited to join us by the flames—so grab your drink, settle in, and revel in the delightful discussions of love, consent, and everything in between. Get ready to elevate your thoughts about relationships and discover how exploring your desires can lead to a more fulfilling life. Don't forget to subscribe, and join our vibrant community for future episodes filled with love, education, and inspiration!
_________________________________________________________________________________
Mom’s Unboxed: Reclaiming Your Identity Beyond Motherhood
Motherhood is a beautiful, life-changing journey—but it’s not the only part of who you are. Somewhere along the way, between the sleepless nights, the endless to-do lists, and the weight of expectations, you may have lost touch with the vibrant, passionate, and multifaceted woman you once were. Mom’s Unboxed is an unapologetic, raw, and empowering podcast designed for women who refuse to be defined solely by motherhood, society, and their relationships. You're not just a mom, you're a woman!
Instagram @iammelaniecarolyn
FB Melanie Carolyn
Email:[email protected]
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at [email protected] or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
Come let us know what you think on IG - https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Next Episode

You Can't Change Your Past, But Your Future Isn't Written Yet | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 39
Starting life on the back foot doesn't mean you're destined to stay there. This raw, vulnerable episode challenges the notion that our beginnings dictate our endings, offering a candid look at overcoming disadvantage and finding forward momentum when everything seems stacked against you.
We dive deep into what it means to grow up with fewer advantages – whether economically, socially, or in terms of family stability – and how these early circumstances shape our relationship with possibility and progress. The psychological weight of constantly feeling "behind" others can be crushing, yet there are paths forward that many never explore.
Your brain, while incredible, isn't automatically wired for success – it's wired for survival. This fundamental reality means change and growth will always feel uncomfortable initially. We explore how this biological programming creates resistance to the very changes that might improve our lives, and practical ways to work with (rather than against) these natural tendencies.
The comparison trap merits special attention as we discuss how social media has amplified our tendency to measure ourselves against others' highlight reels. This habit steals joy and motivation, yet remains one of the hardest patterns to break. We share strategies for developing a more realistic perspective on others' journeys and focusing on your unique path.
Perhaps most importantly, we examine the crucial difference between a failure and a setback. When we learn to extract value from our missteps and continue forward, we transform what could be dead-ends into stepping stones. Nearly every successful person has a trail of failures behind them – what sets them apart is their refusal to let those failures define them.
Ready to stop treading water and start moving forward? Join us for this heartfelt conversation about finding your way despite a tough start, and discover how awareness, persistence, and self-compassion can change the trajectory of your story.
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at [email protected] or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
Come let us know what you think on IG - https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast - What Nobody Tells You About Dating When Sex Isn't Your Primary Attraction | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 38
Transcript
Welcome to Around the Kinky Campfire . Grab a seat , pour a drink and let's turn up the heat . This is the podcast where we explore the wild , wonderful and sometimes wicked world of kink , bdsm and alternative lifestyles . Whether you're a seasoned player , a curious newbie or just here for the stories , we've got something for you . Join us on Thursdays on your favorite podcast pl
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