
The Social Probation Period | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 42
Explicit content warning
04/17/25 • 39 min
Julius explores how different communities operate similarly despite their diverse interests and activities. He dives into his experiences navigating kink, board games, non-monogamy, geek culture, and improv communities, highlighting the universal patterns that emerge in each social group.
• All communities have an approximately 90-day "probationary period" before truly accepting new members
• People need to see you consistently show up before they open their inner circle
• Bad actors and creepy people don't last long in any community regardless of focus
• Finding your specific tribe within the larger community takes time but is worth the effort
• Communities we choose often provide acceptance we didn't find in communities we were born into
• Being quiet and not engaging socially makes integration much harder
• Persistence is key - sometimes it takes years to find your specific people within a community
If you want to join a new community, just go! Keep showing up, develop social capital by talking to people, and don't get discouraged if acceptance takes time. Email your questions to [email protected].
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at [email protected] or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
Come let us know what you think on IG - https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Julius explores how different communities operate similarly despite their diverse interests and activities. He dives into his experiences navigating kink, board games, non-monogamy, geek culture, and improv communities, highlighting the universal patterns that emerge in each social group.
• All communities have an approximately 90-day "probationary period" before truly accepting new members
• People need to see you consistently show up before they open their inner circle
• Bad actors and creepy people don't last long in any community regardless of focus
• Finding your specific tribe within the larger community takes time but is worth the effort
• Communities we choose often provide acceptance we didn't find in communities we were born into
• Being quiet and not engaging socially makes integration much harder
• Persistence is key - sometimes it takes years to find your specific people within a community
If you want to join a new community, just go! Keep showing up, develop social capital by talking to people, and don't get discouraged if acceptance takes time. Email your questions to [email protected].
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at [email protected] or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
Come let us know what you think on IG - https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Previous Episode

Put Down Your Phone and Wash Your Ass: Dating Advice Nobody Asked For | Advice Line 2 | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 41
Julius explores the fundamental differences in how men and women communicate and the painful lack of education we receive about these differences before entering relationships.
• Communication styles differ significantly between genders based on both biology and socialization
• Men are typically raised to be solution-focused while women often communicate to process emotions
• Active listening without trying to "fix" problems is a learned skill many men find physically uncomfortable
• Social media and smartphones have worsened our ability to connect meaningfully face-to-face
• Dating requires consistent effort and realistic self-presentation, not just swiping endlessly
• The concept of "the one" is misleading—successful relationships require active work and communication
• Learning new skills requires consistent practice for at least 66 days to form habits
• Failure is necessary for growth and shouldn't be avoided—"fail gloriously"
Want to share your thoughts or suggest topics for future discussions? You can email at [email protected].
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at [email protected] or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
Come let us know what you think on IG - https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast - The Social Probation Period | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 42
Transcript
Welcome to Around the Kinky Campfire . Grab a seat , pour a drink and let's turn up the heat . This is the podcast where we explore the wild , wonderful and sometimes wicked world of kink , bdsm and alternative lifestyles . Whether you're a seasoned player , a curious newbie or just here for the stories , we've got something for you . Join us on Thursdays on your favorite podcast pl
If you like this episode you’ll love
Episode Comments
Generate a badge
Get a badge for your website that links back to this episode
<a href="https://goodpods.com/podcasts/around-the-kinky-kampfire-podcast-613736/the-social-probation-period-pillow-fort-sessions-ep-42-89594447"> <img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/badges/generic-badge-1.svg" alt="listen to the social probation period | pillow fort sessions ep 42 on goodpods" style="width: 225px" /> </a>
Copy