Anything But Vanilla Podcast

What dear listeners do you think you were born to do? Save lives? Help others? Work with underprivileged children? Well, naturally, the ladies have some ideas about what they were born to do and let’s just say that it doesn’t have much of a moral upside.

Welcome in to episode 45! Where the ladies will do almost anything if you pay them enough and if someone could help them set up their dominatrix website, that would be cool too. This week the ladies share their highlight and lowlight reel (the barn is back again, we are old and throwing out our backs). Local Sacramento news is poppin’ nationally (we have a Sacramentan as the bachelorette!) The ladies discuss how MLM’s are bullshit for those living under rocks and Claire brings you some random treasure hunter news. Advice this week comes from a listener who wants to date a coworker, the ladies divulge what they were “born to do”. Finally, listeners get to know more stuff we like right now, (makeup and bomb local shops) and bring you this weeks hater (Corona Virus watch out).

Vanderpink Margarita
2 parts Tequila
2 parts Lime juice
1 part peach purée
1 part orange liqueur
Dash of hibiscus syrup
Ice if you aren’t a hood rat like fran

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us @abvpodcast on insta and twitter

Let’s pretend you have a friend who is pregnant and who can’t get drunk with you anymore but who still enjoys her drink when she can. Do you A) phone in the drinks you make her and half ass your effort or B) lovingly give thoughtful effort to the one craft cocktail she gets to drink? If you are the former, you are a bad friend and you are in the dog house with Claire this week... jkjkjk.

Welcome in to episode 43, where the drinks are less than stellar and the company is full of snark, judgement and snappy attitudes. This week Claire once again tries to get away with only sharing her weekly highlights and is forced into properly delivering the segment Rose and THORN to listeners, with a strong nudge from her co-host who is full of thorns always. The duo is also sharing some shady local news via a high school newspapers ace reporting and the Boy Scouts of America’s decision to file bankruptcy (due to their truly awful Catholic Church-esque handling of systemic abuse). Advice this week is handled without kid gloves (shocker) and the ladies share their most unprofessional moments in the workplace (may they hang their heads in shame). Finally, listeners get to know more stuff we like right now (Costco finds and delish local Sacramento breakfast, watch out Bacon and Butter) and bring you this weeks hater (Warning: ageism might be a part of this segment).

Love (or mediocrity) In A Cup
1 part William Sonoma “Love In A Cup” mix
2 parts Vodka
2 parts Lime White Claw

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us @abvpodcast on insta and twitter

Ooooops we did it again. Another hour and a half episode is in the books. Did you ask for it? Not necessarily. Are you getting it? You bet your sweet ass you are! Welcome to episode 35, where guest Kristene Crimens “Sacramento’s premiere brow boss” (according to us) joins us for drinks, heated conversations, and general mockery of our world this week. How will Kristene answer the time tested ABV litmus test? What the hell can these three talk about for 90ish minutes? Is this weeks drink actually good? Listen in and find out.

This week in “Rose and Thorn” the ladies share their best (holiday home tours, trips to SF for live pod and sleeping babies) and worst (Lawdy! Claire and her throw up anxiety) discuss some of this weeks news (Crazy filler lewks, a new cross country driving record and bananas as art) and answer this weeks advice question about how to navigate your discussions around marriage when your friend is going through a divorce. This week in homework, the ladies are discussing Claire’s assignment, the coming of age tale “Booksmart”. Saving the worst for last, Kristene brings you the hater of the week and let’s just say, you missed the effing mark Peleton.

Boozy Chocolate Milk
1/3 cup White chocolate liqueur1/3 cup Vanilla vodka
1 cup Chocolate milkCrushed Graham cracker, cinnamon and sugar rim

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?

Find us @abvpodcast on insta and twitter

It is the week of the 4th of July, and Claire has whipped up a refreshing cocktail recipe, “Claire’s Boozey Pink Lemonade” perfect for the extended holiday weekend, full recipe is listed below. On Episode 12 we announce the winner of our listener contest...with a special twist! Per usual, the gals recap the week by sharing their usual, “Rose and Thorn”, present local and national news highlights, including: The Hills Reboot, Dali Lama News (spoiler, another misogynistic quote!) and the Community art piece controversy in El Dorado Hills. This week, the girls give advice to a listener about how to decide whether or not to have a second child and answer another round of “ask me anything” by sharing their hypothetical last meal before execution. Erica’s hater of the week is a cautionary tale to remind people to think twice before buying a ticket to a concert at the Toyota Ampitheater in Wheatland, with a hilarious throwback situation that happened at that awful venue over 15 years prior featuring Francesca, of course!

As promised, here are Instagram handles to follow after shout outs given throughout the episode by Erica and Claire:

Follow @sthhopeoakpark and @thesocialarchitects on Instagram to stay in the know about fun events in Oak Park this summer.

Follow/Donate to the following nonprofit organizations to help the bring an end to family separation and detention at the border @together.rising , @fams2gether @raicestexas @borderkindness @borderangelofficial

Claire’s Boozey Pink Lemonade
1 can frozen pink lemonade
3 cans sparkling water
1.5 cans Absolut Vodka Juice Strawberry

In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s?
Find us at: [email protected]
Insta and Twitter: @abvpodcast

Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916.

Friends of ABV, we recorded this episode a long time ago. Fran is procrastinator. She blames it on being busy, but we all really know its the ADHD. Enjoy this CBD fever dream. A plus for you at the end, there is a Crumbl cookie review :)
Did you enjoy the shows intro song? Thomas Castillo and his band Creamline, created ABV’s spectacular music. If you want to hear more from Creamline, you can find them on instagram @creamline916. In need of some advice? Want to ask us something weird or embarrassing and have us answer it live? Looking to slide into our DM’s? Find us @abvpodcast on insta.