Love and grief with ADHD (Steve Wesley’s story)

03/18/25 • 27 min

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

Steve Wesley makes videos about ADHD to create a legacy for his family. As a single dad with ADHD, he worries he’s not doing enough to support his two sons, who also have ADHD. He hopes the videos will serve as proof one day that he really was trying.

Steve’s late wife was “the calendar” of the family. She kept everything on track. When she passed away, it was up to Steve to manage everything and teach his sons the executive function skills that he struggles with so much himself.

Join this emotional conversation between Steve and host Laura Key about parenting and coping with death with ADHD.

Related resources

Check out Steve’s YouTube channel, Steve with ADHD
ADHD and coping with grief: 8 ways to help your child
ADHD and emotions

Timestamps

(01:00) Steve’s “aha” moment, and accepting his diagnosis

(05:03) ADHD, emotions, and grieving the loss of his wife

(10:57) Adjusting to being a single parent as a widower

(13:48) Why did Steve start his YouTube channel for his family?

(18:38) ADHD: Superpower or curse?

(23:27) What would Steve’s wife be proud of him for today?

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! page on Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

Join this emotional conversation between Steve and host Laura Key about parenting and coping with death with ADHD.

Related resources

Check out Steve’s YouTube channel, Steve with ADHD
ADHD and coping with grief: 8 ways to help your child
ADHD and emotions

Timestamps

(01:00) Steve’s “aha” moment, and accepting his diagnosis

(05:03) ADHD, emotions, and grieving the loss of his wife

(10:57) Adjusting to being a single parent as a widower

(13:48) Why did Steve start his YouTube channel for his family?

(18:38) ADHD: Superpower or curse?

(23:27) What would Steve’s wife be proud of him for today?

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! page on Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Previous Episode

Afraid to be the “crazy wife” with ADHD (Sela Carsen’s story)

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

Romance author Sela Carsen saw herself in her daughter’s ADHD evaluation 20 years ago. But she didn’t request an evaluation for herself until just 4 years ago. She was afraid that having ADHD would have a negative effect on her husband’s military career — that she’d be the “crazy wife.”

Once Sela was finally diagnosed with ADHD, she had a big sense of relief. She felt capable in her job as an author, and that she “didn’t have to hate herself so much” anymore. Hear this conversation with Sela and host Laura Key as they chat about ADHD shame, Gen X’s outlook on mental health, and neurodivergent book characters.

Related resources

Timestamps

(01:46) When did Sela start to notice signs of ADHD in herself?

(03:48) Why Sela didn’t pursue an ADHD evaluation while her husband was in active duty

(05:46) How ADHD symptoms affected her life while she was undiagnosed

(08:55) Finally seeking an ADHD evaluation

(14:11) Neurodivergent story characters

(17:45) How being Gen X changes how you approach ADHD

(20:24) What’s next for Sela?

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! page on Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Next Episode

My full-circle ADHD experience (Laura’s story, continued)

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

On this 100th episode of ADHD Aha!, host Laura Key looks back on the powerful conversations she’s had with guests from all walks of life about their unique ADHD experiences. She also opens up about a deeply personal new chapter: her 9-year-old daughter’s recent ADHD diagnosis. Laura reflects on what this milestone means for her both as a mom and a person with ADHD.

Joining Laura is her friend, co-worker, and Hyperfocus podcast host, Rae Jacobson. Together, they explore how Laura’s understanding of ADHD has evolved over the course of the show — and how she’s navigating the emotions of raising a child who shares her diagnosis.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:50) What has it been like making 100 episodes of ADHD Aha!?

(03:03) Laura’s daughter’s diagnoses, and being a mom with ADHD

(08:21) Laura’s daughter’s ADHD and anxiety evaluation

(10:51) Sleep and ADHD parenting challenges

(12:19) Feeling the pressure to be a “perfect ADHD mom”

(14:14) How hard it can be to be a kid with ADHD

(16:40) Keeping ADHD mom perfectionism in check

(20:58) Has Laura’s outlook on ADHD changed throughout making this show?

For a transcript and more resources, visit the ADHD Aha! page on Understood.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].