But Everybody's Doing It!

It’s easy to obscure a drinking problem when everyone else drinks. It was all happening in plain sight. It wasn’t a PROBLEM! I was nineteen! I liked to PARTY! And so did EVERYONE ELSE! In this chapter I drift further into denial when drinking is normalized by friends, family and a culture that thinks drinking is just the obvious way to have a good time. It also delves into the awkwardness and anxiety of trying to convince myself I was having a good time when I was really just desperate to be in an environment in which drunkenness was accepted. It was also easy to blame the culture and avoid taking responsibility. Alcohol promised to BE MY FRIEND, it WAS, and then it turned on me. It's clearly someone else's fault. Feel sorry for me yet? I sure did. And that never solved anything.

In recovery, I still grapple with some conflicted feelings about other people in my life who DO still drink. It’s kind of like breaking up with someone, but still having them around all the time. Having a recovery community has been vital in staving off resentments.

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Thanks to Bensound.com for the intro and outro music
Here is a list of suicide crisis hotlines by country:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

Here are links to support groups with an online presence that can be vital in recovery:
For a comprehensive list of 12 Step Meetings:
https://12step.org/social/online-meetings
Smart Recovery:
https://www.smartrecovery.org/community
Refuge Recovery
https://www.refugerecovery.org

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