A Season of Caring Podcast

Rayna Neises, ACC, host, reflects on her interview last week with Deb Kelsey-Davis (Episode 125). Deb shared how technology impacted her caregiving season and helped her with self-care. Rayna continues the conversation with tips on how creating routines can be a helpful tool for caregivers. In addition, she explores how faith can impact caregiving:

• [1:00] The key to self-care is that it is not a one-time event but instead an ongoing routine or habit.
• [2:25] When we make time for things we love and schedule in fun, we have a happier life overall.
• [4:13] Think about the routines you have in place and then add to them.
• [6:00] Using a habit tracker can help you add healthy habits into your life and it will help with consistency.
• [7:25] Give yourself grace as you can always start again tomorrow.
• [9:00] Nourish for Caregivers (www.nourishforcaregivers.com) provides an
  effective faith-based program to minister to the practical, emotional, and spiritual needs of caregivers.
• [10:20] Caregivers are invited to attend the weekly support group, House Calls, every Tuesday at 10:00 AM CST via Zoom. Join at: House Calls Registration.
• [13:13] Spirituality can provide relief from the endless routines of caregiving and also life-changing crises.
• [14:16] Make sure that you continue to include the faith journey in your caregiving.
• [17:21] Consider the person you are caring for and their spiritual growth.
• [19:00] This episode is brought to you by the Encouragement Series: Hope Over Regrets. Visit www.EncouragementSeries.com for more details.

Rayna Neises, ACC, host, is joined today by co-host, Carlos Olivas III. Carlos is the primary caregiver for his father who is journeying with Alzheimer’s. Together Rayna and Carlos discuss challenges with changes in behavior and mood as the disease progresses. They share additional information to assist caregivers to handle situations:

• [3:22] It does not matter if your loved one knows your name. They know that you are someone significant in their life.
• [7:31] Time away helps tremendously to then come back, be present, and have an attitude of compassion.
• [8:42] We want to do it with them, not to them.
• [9:34] Recognize triggers.
• [15:00] Step into their world and see what they are feeling.
• [17:22] Try having multiples of an item to avoid anxiety.
• [18:24] We need to understand their agenda and support them in that.
• [18:40] Pain can be an underlying factor in mood.
• [21:17] Sometimes we all have moods and that is okay.
• [22:06] Routines can help both caregivers and their loved ones.
• [26:20] We need to adapt to find workarounds for barriers.

This week, Rayna Neises, your host, talks with Carlos Olivas III. Carlos lived in Southern California where he was working a great job in live events doing production and design while raising his daughter. Life took a turn five years ago when he made the decision to move back to his childhood home to care for his father. As a result of his experience, he has developed a passion for research and educating himself about the Alzheimer’s experience. Carlos shares the following insights with everyone from his perspective as a primary caregiver:

• The experience requires you to change and to look inward to adjust your ego, your attitude, and to become a better person.
• The lifestyle change required is difficult because being able to go where you want and do what you want is no longer under your control.
• Embracing change allows you to better approach the caregiving experience.
• The research and education required to help your loved one allows you the opportunity to prepare for your future after your season of caring.
• You are never too old to change!
• Alzheimer’s is much more than just forgetting things.
• Participating in/being a member of several caregiver support groups can be invaluable as you surround yourself with different types of people who are going through the same thing.
• Breathing exercises/techniques can be beneficial in helping with self-control and relieving stress.

Rayna Neises, ACC, host, and Karen Weaver, cohost, reflect on the interview with April McCollum. April shared her creative ideas for self-care and dealing with grief. One specific suggestion included the adult coloring book she authored. Additional insights discussed:

• Having a tangible item in front of you brings the opportunity to think about grief and can help you move through it.
• Taking time out to process your thoughts can help you identify when grief is at the center.
• Document your loved one’s story as you go to show interest in them, to help them reminisce, and to ensure that you have the information before they are gone. StoryWorth.com
• Caregiving for your loved one should not be a burden and when it starts to feel that way, take time to figure out what changes are needed to remove that feeling.
• The caregiving season can be an opportunity to learn to really decide what is important.
• Expectations can be helpful motivators. However, when set unrealistically, they can become a source of disappointment and frustration.
• Great love brings great loss but also growth and great gains.
• Check out the Caring Quiz to learn about your caring style and how to build teams to meet your needs during the caring season.
• And, don’t forget to listen and then comment on this podcast post on our Facebook page to be eligible to win a coloring book from April!

This week, Rayna Neises, your host, speaks with Mike and Kim Barnes. While balancing their lives as spouses and parents with their successful TV/journalism careers, they have also been caring for their aging parents. It is through these experiences that they have found a passion to help others who are on this caring journey. People want to be part of a community, and Mike and Kim are dedicating their time to helping provide that opportunity. They share the following insights:

• (6:26) Each person is different, and every person’s needs are different.
• (8:32) Figure out how to prioritize and not let things slip through the cracks.
• (9:06) Being open with your children allows them to see what they will face as they get older and eventually care for you. In addition, it builds empathy.
• (10:28) Caregiving is an additional job that you have to make room for.
• (11:22) You are on an emotional roller-coaster and you cannot take everything personally.
• (16:00) Check to see if in the big scheme of things, does this matter?
• (20:15) Having a community to be a sounding board, to vent to, or ask questions helps.
• (30:37) When discussing Power of Attorney or a will with your parents, explain that it is a gift to loved ones.
• (35:01) To find interviews with experts on a variety of topics, visit Mike and Kim’s website at www.parentingagingparents.com. To join their support group, click the button on the home page and request to join their Facebook group. You can also subscribe to receive their weekly newsletter.