James Dashwood - Addiction, coping mechanisms and the quest for connection

Explicit content warning

02/14/22 • 59 min

Head of Wellbeing at leading employee wellbeing platform, Better Space, James Dashwood is a father, a husband, and a recovering alcoholic.

Sober for seven years he has been on a journey of introspection where he’s learned so much about himself, about addiction and about what it means to be content.
He shares his story about growing up and how he recognises that he used external things to soothe internal pain. James is remarkably candid in reflecting about how he sees himself, his desire to control others, and to connect, for which he recognises he used alcohol to do so.
He talks about AA and the 12 step programme and why it's been transformative for him. We speak about expectations, how releasing them can improve relationships and about why he believes addiction is a spiritual matter.
James talks about his experience of depression and anxiety and how, often the things that help the most such as talking to others, seem like the hardest thing to do at the time and he shares some of his tools that help him.
We talk about success and how its traditionally measured, and how we both recognise that contentment, over happiness, is something to strive for.
And we chat about the importance of taking responsibility and of the power of perception, in Shakespeare's words: 'There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.'
We also mention a few books during the episode:
Nothing Special: Living Zen by Charlotte Joko Beck

Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl
The Choice by Edith Egar
Solve for Happy by Mo Gawdat
Find Sophie on Instagram and find out more about BetterSpace here.

Head of Wellbeing at leading employee wellbeing platform, Better Space, James Dashwood is a father, a husband, and a recovering alcoholic.

Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl
The Choice by Edith Egar
Solve for Happy by Mo Gawdat
Find Sophie on Instagram and find out more about BetterSpace here.

Previous Episode

Andrew Cotton - The power of breathwork, breaking his back surfing a 75ft wave, and using his mindset to overcome fear

Andrew Cotton is a big wave surfer and Red Bull athlete. Growing up in North Devon, he started at 7 and it became his life. He left school and worked in a local surfboard factory until the age of 25 to fund his surf trips. At this point he figured it wasn’t going to sustain him financially so he re-trained as a plumber but this made it clear to him that his real passion lay in big wave surfing. So, with a friend he set about creating online content which, combined with his talent, led him to picking up some sponsors which enabled him to follow his dreams.

He spends much of his time in Nazare in Portugal which is home to the biggest surf able waves in the world. It was there in November 2017 that he broke his back surfing a 75ft wave in a huge wipeout. Thankfully he made a full recovery and a year later her was back surfing those mammoth waves.

Cotty and I met at a Wings for Life event, which is the Red Bull charity who’s goal is to find a cure for spinal cord injury where he ran a breathwork session. It was here I experienced first hand the effects that the breath can have on your mind and your physiology - truly feeling ‘high on my own supply.’

We speak about how he gets into a flow state and about the power of the breath in pushing through the limits we set ourselves. We talk about fear and how he overcomes its and doesn’t let his mind ‘get in the way’ when tackling the biggest waves ever surfed.

His advice felt totally applicable to life in general, from treating the journey like a marathon not a sprint, embracing failure and surrounding yourself with great people that inspire you and help you move forwards.

You can find Andrew on Instagram here and Sophie here.

Find out more about Wings for Life here and join their fantastic World Run in May 2022.

Next Episode

Kalim Smith - The healing power of plants, how serious injury brought out the adventurer in him and why listening to his gut paid off

Based partly in Carlsbad, CA and in Keauhou, Hawaii, Kalim Smith and I met a few years back at a ski race in New Hampshire, after which we discovered we had a mutual friend/relative and since then we’ve enjoyed some great times in both London and California, with some wonderful conversations.

After becoming paralysed in 2011 he recognised the healing power of plants and now spends much of his time growing gourds to make traditional rhythm instruments in both San Diego and Hawaii. He’s made them for some of Hawaii’s most prominent musicians, teachers and dancers.

Prior to his injury Kalim achieved a great deal, with his fingers in multiple pies. He was studying for a PHD at the time of his injury, while teaching Native American languages and working as a stunt actor on the side, amongst other things. Coming from an interracial family, Kalim also has a strong interest in genealogy.

In this episode we talk about our shared adventurous spirit and how our spinal cord injuries fuelled that side of us, in many ways. We talk about what it's like not to laugh for two years or more and how caring for something else can be nurturing, whether it be a pet or plants.

Kalim talks about the importance of connecting with someone in a similar situation after such an injury and he reflects on how difficult it was for him initially post injury and how he found his way, through recalibrating his self of self and finding things to be grateful for.

Kalim is a keen plant man and shares his enthusiasm for the healing power of plants and whole foods. He experiences extreme nerve pain and has found that nature has been the greatest healer. He also shares a recipe for turmeric tea - which has potent anti-inflammatory properties.

We mention the spinal injuries charity Back Up and their mentoring service.