A Life & Death Conversation with Dr. Bob Uslander - Founding the Hemlock Society, Derek Humphry Ep. 8

Founding the Hemlock Society, Derek Humphry Ep. 8

01/12/18 • 58 min

A Life & Death Conversation with Dr. Bob Uslander

Derek Humpry is an author and principal founder of the Hemlock Society (now Compassion & Choices). Derek shares his poignant story about helping his wife, who was terminally ill, end her life and how he founded the Hemlock Society. Derek's website: FinalExit.org Transcript Dr. Bob: Welcome to A Life and Death Conversation with Dr. Bob Uslander. I'm very excited to introduce you to today's guest, who is a gentleman who I recently had the pleasure of meeting and listening to during a presentation at a conference. And I just knew when I met and heard him speak that he is somebody who you needed to hear from. I could go on for quite a long time listing his achievements and his accolades in this introduction, but I don't want to take too much of our valuable time away from the conversation, so I will just give a little glimpse of the instruction to Mr. Derek Humphry, who is the founder of the Hemlock Society of the USA, past president of the World Federation of Right to Die Societies, and Derek has been an incredibly strong proponent of people having the ability to determine how and when they their lives will end when they are struggling. He's been very active through his entire life in this regard and is in large part responsible for the movement through in this country that is certainly effective here on the West Coast, in California, in Oregon, in Washington that has allowed people to have a peaceful end of life. And I owe him gratitude because he has allowed me to delve into a part of my career that has really been incredibly gratifying, and he's brought great relief to many, many people around the world. So, Derek, I just want to introduce you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you've done. So welcome. Derek Humphry: Well, hello. Thank you very much for inviting me. It's been a worthwhile journey. I founded the Hemlock Society in 1980 when I lived in Santa Monica and developed it from there. And it was, I didn't do it in any obviously pioneering way thought, but it proved to be the start of the right-to-choose-to-die movement in America as we grew and grew and fought off our critics and published little books and held conferences, the right-to-choose-to-die movement swelled and improved across America ever since 1980. Dr. Bob: So let me ask, how did this all start? I know, and I heard the story, but I'd like people to hear where this movement originated and how it started for you. Derek Humphry: Yes. I was living in London. I was a reporter on the London Sunday Times. And I had a good marriage, a wife, and three sons, and we were getting along fine. And it's great fun bringing up three sons. But suddenly in 1973 my wife, Jean, said that she had a lump in her breast. We rushed her to the hospital, and various testing and so forth. And they had to perform a radical mastectomy, much to her shock and all of our shock. She recovered from that as best she could, but we have further testing of her lymph nodes and blood count and all the rest of it. And it showed that she had cancer deep in her system. It was too late. But we fought, and she fought, took all medical help available, kept her spirits up looking after the family and so forth. She kept it only in a close circle of friends or family did she say that she had cancer. But in about a year it turned to bone cancer, very painful, very difficult to be moving at all except with heavy pain medications. And then after nearly two years, it was really serious, and she nearly died. She was in the hospital in Oxford, England, getting the best treatment that was available back in 1975, and she recovered from one bout, and the doctor thought she wouldn't come out of that. But she did, and she had a fighting spirit. Then came my epiphany. She sat up in bed feeling pretty well in the hospital bed, and I was visiting her. And she said, "Derek, I want you to do something for me." I said, "What's that?" She said, "I've had enough of this pain and unconsciousness. It's getting near the end. I want to die at home. I don't want ..." She took hospitals pretty well, but she was in the cancer ward, and she'd seen too many people die with the families rushing in in the middle of the night to say their goodbyes and a lot of pain and tears. She said, "I want to die at home. I also want to end my life at the point when I feel the quality of my life is gone and that there's no more hope and no more chance of living. And I want you to help me." There wasn't a right-to-die movement in America or Britain to speak of. There were little token meetings, but it was not a subject of public discussion or knowledge. I think I would have had to go to a dictionary to look up the word euthanasia or so forth. I said, "What do you want me to do?" She said, "I want you to go ..." In a way, she prefigured the laws. She didn't know she was doing this, prefigured the laws that are coming into place in six stat...

Previous Episode

Sons Share Dad's End-Of-Life Experience, Ep. 7

In a very candid and poignant conversation, Bill Andrews' sons share what their dad's end-of-life experience was like for them. Hear how they worked as a team to help their dad have the best death. Note, if you haven't already listened to their father's episode, please click here to listen to Bill Andrews share why he chose to end his life after battling ALS. Transcript

Dr. Bob: This episode is a follow-up to a previous podcast with Bill Andrews, a patient of mine who ended his life on October 23rd, 2017, using The End of Life Option Act, also known as Physician Aid in Dying, or Death With Dignity. The law, which became effective in California in June of 2016, allows a competent adult resident of California with a terminal illness to request from their attending physician a prescription for medication that will end their life in a peaceful and dignified manner.

Bill Andrews had ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. He was a surfer, a thrill-seeker, and an adventurer prior to the onset of this illness. He also was a devoted son, father, and grandfather. I recorded a podcast with him four days before he ended his life. Two of his sons were present for that interview, as well, and all three were with him when he died a few days later.

I invited Bill's sons, Chris, Eric, and Brian, to join me and share what they had learned from this experience, and to help carry on their father's legacy by helping others understand more about what it's like to help a loved one through the Aid in Dying process.

Bill was a pioneer, and he was also a humanitarian. He wanted his death to have value for others, which I'm hopeful that these podcasts can help accomplish. This discussion is fairly graphic and detailed. Some people may find some of the content uncomfortable. Others will find it gripping and refreshing. I found it incredibly inspiring, to hear the words of these intelligent, thoughtful and grieving young men as they share what they went through as a family and honor their father, Bill Andrews.

Please share this with others who may benefit and feel free to head to my website, integratedmdcare.com/newsite1, for additional information and support and other topics related to life and death.

Welcome to another life and death conversation. This is Dr. Bob Uslander, your host and the founder of Integrated MD Care. Today is gonna be a bit of a different format, we're doing a group podcast, and I have a few gentlemen here with me who I shared a pretty special experience with just a couple months ago. I did a podcast interview with Bill Andrews; you may have listened to that one. Bill was quite a character, well loved and well respected, a gentleman who made the brave decision to end his own life after struggling with ALS for several years.

I did an interview with Bill just a few days before he did end his life and he did it in the company and the presence of his family, and his sons, Brian, Chris and Eric, have decided that they wanted to speak and share their perspective and help others who may be trying to figure out how to navigate this terrain and how to support each other and their loved ones through this process. So I'm grateful and very please to introduce you to Brian, Eric, and Chris Andrews. Thanks for being here guys.

Patient Son: Thanks, doctor.

Patient Son: Thank you.

Dr. Bob: Okay. There's a lot of things that we can talk about. There's a lot of different components to this, but one of the things I want you to share ... And you were on that podcast when we talked to your dad, and we got a little bit of your perspective on that, but he was the star of the show. You guys were in the background, but it was nice to have that. Now I'd like you to, in memory of him, in honor of him, we know that he was very, it was really important to him that people understood that this was an option and they understood why he took this option. Why he made the choice. From your perspective, can you share a little bit about why you felt it was so important for him to share his story?

Patient Son: This is Brian. Dad loved being a pioneer in life. He liked being out in the forefront doing things in business that were new and innovative, and in his action sports lifestyle, surfing big waves, motor crossing areas that people had never been. I think he really felt good about being a pioneer and doing something here that was newly available.

Dr. Bob: Okay.

Patient Son: He really wants people to hear his story, and he was really happy to have done that, the podcast with you, and he really wants to get this information out for people considering this.

Dr. Bob: That's cool. It's interesting to think about that, the pioneering spirit. I relate to that. I'm kind of, as a physician, a bit of a pioneer in this realm. Of course, had he not been dealin...

Next Episode

Faye Girsh Talks about the Right To Die, Ep. 9

Hemlock Society San Diego (619) 233-4418 In this episode, Faye Girsh talks about the Right To Die and why she continues to support the movement. Faye was the President of the Hemlock Society USA from 1996-2002 and Senior Vice President of End-of-Life Choices (Hemlock’s temporary name) from 2002-2004. She had served on Hemlock’s national board and essentially succeeded its founder, Derek Humphry. While President of the Hemlock Society she started the Caring Friends program, in 1998, which provided free, personal information and bedside support to Hemlock members considering a hastened death. For the last 25 years, she has appeared in debates and speeches all over the U.S. and has been on national TV and radio, including Court TV, Good Morning America, and Nightline. She was a speaker at the World Federation Conference in Melbourne, Toronto, Tokyo, and Amsterdam and has spoken at law schools, medical schools, civic groups, universities, and to many other audiences in this country, Great Britain, Canada, New Zealand and Australia. Transcript

Dr. Bob: Well, hello and welcome to another episode of A Life and Death Conversation. I'm Dr. Bob Uslander, the founder of Integrated MD Care and the host of this series of podcasts.

I have a very special guest with me today. All of my guests are special in some way or another, but Faye Girsh is a phenomenal woman. She is truly a ... I don't know. Some people I've heard to describe her as a marvel and an inspiration, so I'm thrilled to introduce you to my dear friend and co-conspirator, Faye Girsh.

Faye Girsh: Hello, Bob. If you're looking for a wonder woman, I'm not it, but I'm very happy to expound on our mutually interesting subject.

Dr. Bob: Fantastic. And many people would argue that point and would call you a wonder woman, because you've had a fascinating life, and I know a very interesting career, and the things that you've devoted yourself to and committed yourself to are of great importance to many of the people who are listening, because this is a life and death conversation and to me, you have really lived a very inspiring life, and you never shy away from the conversation about death. And you're somebody who has really devoted herself to helping others have the best possible experience of life and as well the best possible experience of death.

Faye Girsh: Thank you for all that.

Dr. Bob: And thank you for all that you've done, because what I get to do in my career, some of what gives my life and my career a great meaning is a direct result of the work that you've done over the years.

Faye Girsh: It's very encouraging now that there are so many people working on this very important issue for all of us.

Dr. Bob: And the issue that you're referring to it's called by lots of different things. When you're talking to somebody about what it is that you do and what you've devoted so much of your life to, what are the words that you like to use to describe it?

Faye Girsh: I guess choices at the end of life, if I have less than 30 seconds, that people should be able to die the way they want to, in a humane and peaceful way, with their friends and loved ones present, and consistent with their own values and beliefs. That's the 45-second version.

Dr. Bob: Actually, I think it was probably closer to 20 seconds, and it's-

Faye Girsh: 20 seconds, okay.

Dr. Bob: ... very descriptive and appropriate, I think.

Faye Girsh: It sounds very simple too, and it's definitely not simple. In fact, the progress towards it is absolutely glacial because many people don't believe that we should have a choice in how we die, which to me is amazing and also very unjust, unfair.

Dr. Bob: Yeah. I agree. And you can spend a lot of time exploring how we got here, and I'm sure there's some value in that because it helps those of us who really do believe that people deserve to have that choice in how, where and when they die. It helps us to see where the challenges remain, by looking at the barriers and the things that have been blocking that-

Faye Girsh: You know, I'm reading an interesting book now, Bob, called Modern Death. I don't know if you've seen it. By a Pakistani American doctor named Haider Warraich. I don't know how you pronounce his name exactly. But he talks about how the way we die has changed so much in the last 50 years because of technology, insurance, hospital, everything.

It explains a lot to me about how things have changed from when I was a kid, and the doctor would make house calls, and I assume that if we were dying, he would have given us a nice injection and sent us on our way, with the agreement of the family, but it's a long way from that now. It's a little bit back to what you do when you visit people at their homes, which is so unusual these days.

Dr. Bob: That does sound lik...