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9 Chickweed Rage - 026: The Wattles and the Flapping Flesh

026: The Wattles and the Flapping Flesh

9 Chickweed Rage

Here we are introduced to 60-year-old Arthur Peel and his assistant Nan-Lin Peel (no relation), who is thirty years younger than him. Arthur excuses himself for being a disgusting old man, with a balding head, hair coming out of his ears and nose and eyebrows, wattles, and flapping flesh. These are his descriptions of himself, although Brooke Mac-El-Dee doesn't take the time to actually draw him that way. He is balding, but he has thin, very well groomed eyebrows, no visible wattles and few wrinkles to speak of. He repeats this stuff over and over to Nan-Lin, who seems bored and beaten down by his monologue. (You and us both, sister!) Of course, when Arthur adds that he is in love with her, this changes everything for Nan-Lin, who then literally crawls across a table to kiss him. Arthur, in typical Chickweed style, doesn't understand what's happening or that Nan-Lin wants his wrinkly and flapping Johnson. He looks terrified and concerned for all fourteen (yeah, sorry) of these strips. She even gets up on the table and presents her beave to him. Still, he doesn't fucking understand what's going on. Because...it's funny, I guess? Anyway, she eventually slides into his lap and then they disappear under the table. At this point, we discover that they are in a restaurant. The waiter arrives and is unfazed by their near-fucking in the booth. So much so, he takes their order, and then seats two other guests across from them. These guests, Seth and his boyfriend, don't notice that there's a couple moments away from intercourse across the booth from them. And they begin to make out too. At this point, both couples notice each other. Embarrassed (?) Arthur and Nan-Lin bolt from the restaurant, but not before Arthur gives the waiter a huge tip. The waiter then claims he's in love. Which must be a joke, but isn't funny really. And also makes no sense in any context provided. But what the fuck were we expecting anyway, right?

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh, Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh AGAIN, and Arthur talks about his wattles but NOT his flapping flesh ARE HERE.
Nan-Lin presents her beave, Nan-Lin ends up in Arthur's lap, and Arthur and Nan-Lin end up lying down in a booth in a restaurant ARE HERE.
The waiter arrives to take their order, Nan-Lin and Arthur hear the waiter but just keep dry humping, and the waiter seats another couple opposite them ARE HERE.
Seth and Mark immediately begin to make out, Seth and Mark notice Arthur and Nan-Lin, and the waiter insists on a big tip ARE HERE.
The phrase "get a room" is uttered and the waiter falls in love with giant money ARE HERE.

This key party-adjacent episode includes:

  • What is the name of our favorite celebratory march?
  • Cell phones in cars
  • 2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid
  • Classic moment from The Man With Two Brains.
  • Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5.
  • Brooke's Broadway musical
  • Defibrillator
  • Paper pants
  • MRIs
  • Metal underwear/chastity belts/codpieces
  • Where "Bust a moo" originally came from.
  • Adam Godley
  • "Hot in Herre" by Nelly
  • McEldowney ellipsis
  • Ball wattles
  • Gilbert & Sullivan
  • Classical symphony orgasm
  • Pro-butt/Am-butt
  • 21 Beave Salute
  • Motorboating
  • Laura Ingalls Wilder
  • Turtlenecks
  • Shrek
  • Bluey's "cone of shame!" episode
  • Throuples
  • The Case of the Disappearing Mustache!
  • Scooby Doo

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05/09/23 • 91 min

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