019: I Think This Whole Santa Tradition is Overrated

Explicit content warning

12/21/22 • 80 min

It's our last podcast of 2022! So to celebrate the holidays, we focus on Christmas this episode. Despite striking out at Halloween and Thanksgiving, we give the holidays another shot and take a look to see if Brooke McEldowney has anything joyful or celebratory to say about Christmas. The answer is, of course, mostly no. We're exposed to a very weird "pickle leg," an inappropriately sexy ballet Santa, Edda's sexy knees, and there's even a fun Hitchcockian cameo from McEldowney himself. By "fun," we mean very, very confusing. Ultimately, Amos and Edda show us they have some serious Santa cosplay kink that they can't resist the gravitational pull of, even when their bedraggled-looking twins are nearby. Our exploration ends with McEldowney saying (through Edda) "God bless cartoonists." Because of course he does. It's just like the end of_** A Christmas Carol**_, only if Dickens was a pompous asshole. Which is our way of saying, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! We'll see you in 2023!

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Edda dances, Seth becomes Sexy Santa, and Edda has sexy knees are here.
Seth's roommate hits on Edda and barfs and Brooke McEldowney makes an appearance are here.
Amos fucks pregnant Santa and Polly & Lolly hate Christmas are here.
And the world's most dismal White Christmas is here.

This episode's jolly journey includes:

Cottonelle toilet paper
Pandemic preparation
Peanut butter
Can peanut butter go bad?
Whimsical hydration bottles
Kelsey Grammer falling off a stage.
The classic Grape Stomping Lady fall.
The news tease jet pack fail.
"Effing Under the Christmas Tree!"
Sudden Onset Baby Leg
Pickle leg
"Buon Natale" by Brave Combo.
Conversion therapy
Cindy Lou Who
Cock rings
Shame
Underprivileged kids
Uncle Fester fakes a neck injury on The Brady Bunch, but Mike outwits him.
Knee fetish
Mistletoe
Warner Brothers cartoons
Daffy Duck in "Duck Amuck"
Pregnant Santa
Turtlenecks
White Christmas

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The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

This episode's jolly journey includes:

Cottonelle toilet paper
Pandemic preparation
Peanut butter
Can peanut butter go bad?
Whimsical hydration bottles
Kelsey Grammer falling off a stage.
The classic Grape Stomping Lady fall.
The news tease jet pack fail.
"Effing Under the Christmas Tree!"
Sudden Onset Baby Leg
Pickle leg
"Buon Natale" by Brave Combo.
Conversion therapy
Cindy Lou Who
Cock rings
Shame
Underprivileged kids
Uncle Fester fakes a neck injury on The Brady Bunch, but Mike outwits him.
Knee fetish
Mistletoe
Warner Brothers cartoons
Daffy Duck in "Duck Amuck"
Pregnant Santa
Turtlenecks
White Christmas

Talk to Us!

Previous Episode

018: Is Nakedness Such a Hindrance to Shooting People?

We flash back to World War II and immediately find ourselves dealing with two naked people in a...pond? ...a lake? ...a magical puddle? It's very unclear what kind of body of water. Anyway, the skinny-dippers are confronted with Nazis. We don't really know who we're dealing with at first. But the lady scares off some Nazis with her "terrifying downstairs business." We later discover that these mysterious people are Bill O'Malley, Juliette's stepfather, and Martine Clocqueur. Naturally, Martine is a beautiful double agent. We're just surprised she's not also a talented singer, dancer, or musician. Bill has a head wound which has resulted in amnesia. But when he and Martine make out, under the water of course, he remembers kissing someone else. That person is Edna, Juliette's mom, who is also a spy. Who isn't? Apparently Bill promised to get engaged with Edna after the war. Martine isn't so concerned about that because it's wartime and during wartime "everything we hold honorable has to be cured in salt and sliced very thin." Like that's a famous saying or something, which it isn't. What she means is that it's totally cool for them to have sex because it's war and, you know, only wartime rules apply. It's a little surprising that we don't see them doing it, all things considered, but she does press her "upsetting business" up against him a lot in that pond/lake/puddle.

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

The "back-up beave" is introduced, the Nazis cavort away, and Billy thinks about Martine's "downstairs business" are here.
Billy and Martine make out under the water, Billy remembers Edna (or has his penis eaten by fish), Martine recommends they have sex despite Edna are here.
Martine throws herself at Billy and then slices all honorable things paper thin are here.

This episode's terrifying & confusing journey includes:

UCLA
KU / MU
Christmas
Sausage
Babe
Talent Show
Christmas cookies
Professional voice work
Liz Lemon shoots her Dealbreaker intro on 30 Rock.
World War II
Nazis
Amateur butt vs. pro butt
The Back-Up Beaver
Sexy Lady Godzilla
Crystal Gayle / Emmylou Harris / Loretta Lynn
The Nutcracker
"What are cows?"
The opening of the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

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Next Episode

020: A Pair of Overalls for the Pleasingly Plump Farmer

It's our first podcast of 2023! And we're so happy to discover that this strip still makes no goddamned sense at all. We begin our twelve-strip journey (yes! twelve!) with a customer service rep responding to texts from what turns out to be Thorax. Thorax is looking for overalls in XXXXL-Tall, so naturally his path to purchasing said clothing begins with texting a customer service person. And once he finds out it's a lady -- with the doubly unlikely name of Verity Dupee -- Thorax begins his harrassment. We're sorry, we totally mean romance. Romance as defined by Brooke McEldowney. Verity seems totally annoyed wiht Thorax. Who wouldn't be? But in the end she quits her job and travels to New Hampshire to hand deliver the overalls to Thorax, because she's in love with him. Right up until he tells her he's from another planet.

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Thorax's romance/stalking of Verity Dupee begins right here.
Verity DEFINITELY seems like she might call the cops on Thorax right here.
For some reason, Verity is charmed by Thorax and visits him in New Hampshire right here.
Verity is ready to get it on with Thorax but he ruins it by saying he's from another planet right here.