20 Minute Christian Counselor

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Are there some things you want to change about your spouse? Have you been trying to change them, and been unsuccessful? Is it even possible to change them? In this episode I address this complicated issue, and offer some very practical strategies you can immediately begin to implement to promote change.
Here are some key passages from the bible which provide specific instructions relevant to marriage relationships:
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Matthew 7:1-5)
"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4)
"...submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:21-33)

If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message.

Have you been through a tough season of suffering? Are you experiencing significant suffering right now? In this episode, I wrestle with why we suffer, and share realities about suffering that can help us get through it.
Some of the Scripture I reference in this episode:
“Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy” (1 Peter 4:12-13).
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4).
“For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps” (1 Peter 2:21).
“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, & establish you”
(1 Peter 5:10).
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction...” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message.

In this episode, Robb defines boundaries, shares practical steps on how to develop boundaries as a couple, explains how to share your boundaries with your parents and in-laws, and addresses what to do when they won't abide by them.
Relevant Scripture references in this episode:
Genesis 2:24 ("leave and cleave")
Mark 3:31-35
John 2:1-10 (wedding in Cana)
Proverbs 25:17

If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message.

In this episode, Robb helps identify abusive behaviors in a marriage, discusses unhelpful ways of responding to them, and provides practical steps to take to end the abuse.
Recommended resources:
"Desperate Marriages" by Dr. Gary Chapman
www.focusministries1.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233
Note: During this episode, I accidentally reference Galatians 9:19-21. There is no Galatians 9! I meant to say Galatians 5:19-21.
Other biblical references I mention:
Psalm 11:5
Ephesians 4:31-32
Colossians 3:19
1 Peter 3:7
Ephesians 5:33
Matthew 11:28-30
Matthew 19:26

If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message.

In this episode, Robb talks about the importance of trust in a marriage, and shares the attitudes and steps which must be taken in order to rebuild trust when it has been broken.

If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.