2 Trauma Queens (formerly The Stuck Stops Here)

For years (actually decades!) Carol didn’t know what she wanted to do. She had been working in the corporate world for over 20 years, most recently in a leadership role at a Fortune 5 company.
Although she worked hard and was consistently recognized and promoted, she somehow knew that she was meant to do something different. she felt stuck in a life that didn’t fit.
In early 2018, she left her corporate job and made the leap into the unknown. After doing months of intense inner work with her coach, Michael Sandler, and reconnecting to her higher wisdom, she discovered that she could combine her life and business experience with her soul-aligned interests. She knew she had a talent for building thriving, productive teams and helping people to see their unique strengths and gifts, but it took a while for her Soul-aligned purpose to emerge
She became the creator and Co-founder of The Divine Breadcrumb, a global online community and podcast, which showcases amazing people shining their light around the world. She started writing a blog to share her own story. These are things she couldn’t have imagined a few years ago. But as often is the case, the Universe had an even bigger plan for her than she had for herself.

She is now a certified Inspire Nation coach, focusing on awareness, empowerment & transition. She helps her clients to clear old patterns & beliefs, connect to their heart intelligence, re-wire the mind and discover meaning and purpose. It’s when we do this inner work that we can move forward towards our goals with confidence.
Her Soul knew what she would be doing long before she did, and she is grateful that she followed the Divine map that was laid out before her.
She loves traveling, exploring new cultures, being in nature and helping people on their own paths. She holds a B.A. in Communications from Hofstra University. She lives in Massachusetts with her rambunctious and hilarious rescue cats, Petey and Emmett.

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A false self is created as an adaptation to emotionally ignorant and immature parents who selfishly wallowed in self-unawareness and project their needs and misery onto an infant rather than reflecting the infant's actual moods. Simply put, the false self is not real. It is the disconnected self. You do not naturally belong here or anywhere and you use defense mechanisms and search for all the wring ways to fill up your emptiness. The True Self is characterized by inner peace, acceptance and deep contentment. It’s okay, right here, right now
My parents were toxic, selfish, greedy, fragile and inconsistent. I was unnaturally and unhealthily attuned to their demands, sensing that I had to comply in order to be loved and tolerated; I had to be false before I had the chance to feel properly alive. And as a result, many years later, without knowing why, I felt dead inside. I now know I was forced to comply far too early; I was obedient at the expense of my ability to be authentic.
The false-self thought and behavior patterns stayed with me as an adult. While they used to be helpful when I was young, this toxic thought process and negative behavior patterns was an not only an obstacle to inner peace and spiritual fulfillment but actually slowly killed me from the inside out.
About Dr. Winicott
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Season 3 Episode 3
Our brains overreact when facing uncertainty because they’re wired to react to it with fear. Research has shown that as the uncertainty of scenarios increase, the subjects’ brains shifted control over to the limbic system, the place where emotions, such as anxiety and fear, are generated. This brain quirk worked great eons ago, when cavemen encountered a woolly mammoth. Overwhelming caution and fear ensured survival. But that’s not the case today. This mechanism, which hasn’t evolved, is a hindrance in the world of business, where uncertainty rules and important decisions must be made every day with minimal information.
If you google antonyms for the word “uncertainty”, these are some of what comes up – trust, self-confidence, positivity and patience. We have all heard over and over that people are creatures of habit. It doesn't seem to matter whether those habits are good for us or bad for us; they provide comfort. I held such a tight death-grip on everything is because I was afraid if I let go, things won't be okay. Survivors of emotional abuse and neglect are terrified of abandonment and will hold on tightly to anything in order not to re-experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with broken people who were never there emotionally for us.
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Season 3 Episode 2 - human DOings & human BEings
Doing more, constantly putting myself out there, saying yes to every opportunity, cradling every tangible and intangible experience like a an Olympic medal...I believed these things will get me exposure, accolades, recognition and sales...but in reality they brought on stress, depression, frustration, more emptiness and anxiety.

When we conduct our lives from a place of being rather than doing, we accept uncertainty and don’t focus on self-protection. When we plan, organizing every step and making sure we’ve covered all bases, fear drives that. Real fear comes from wanting to protect ourselves instead of wanting to let go.

I had it backwards and found out it takes more courage to trust the process and let things happen the way they are supposed to.
I was conditioned to DO for acceptance and validation from when I was a baby. That’s how I got noticed and seen. Not for who I was (or who I was being). The result, over time, was a total disconnection from my soul/spirit and living a life from the outside in - virtually guaranteeing multiple mental health issues.
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Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Anger. I used to be angry...most of the time. I have a mother, father and stepfather with various personality disorders who erratically switch back and forth from being overly demanding or callously indifferent. I was set up for a life of no confidence, perpetual sadness masked by raged and an addiction to results and outcomes. I carried terrible shame of coming from people who didn’t give me the attention I needed and deserved – as all young children do. Throughout adulthood, the occasional flashbacks and anxiety attacks seemed to never end. And neither did questioning my ability to be a good mother. I was constantly in fear of not being strong enough to break the cycle of abuse.

When you have a temper like I used to, it is difficult to admit there's a problem. I would go from zero to 100 too often. I would snap, freak out, feel guilty and repeat that cycle. I was a boiling kettle with nowhere for the steam to go. If a kettle has no way to release steam, it explodes...like I used to. Looking back, I wish I had more self-control but at the time it seemed impossible to change. I saw my anger as a genetic flaw that I had to put up with along with the negative consequences that always followed my tantrums.
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