Ep. 109 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

11/29/21 • 81 min

3 Listeners

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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It's time for 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer straight out of G-Bay studios! It was Bert's birthday so we reveal how Tom one-upped the last birthday gift given in the exchange: a chartered private jet. Bert starts getting anxiety about how he'll be able to top this gift and instead tries to pivot. The bears exchange some stories about jet ski accidents, a guy laughed at Bert when he said he felt skinny, and Bert has a great idea for experiencing history! They talk about how weird Hollywood casting decisions can get like with animated shows like Big Mouth, The Simpsons, Family Guy. Also, Bert decides that he's kept in a secret for long enough and he's tired of hiding it from the world. Bert Kreischer, the comedian you know and love, is coming out as fat and reveals hey burps and farts a hundred times a day and is constantly throwing up in his mouth. Is this normal? The bears then each describe their perfect day of eating while Bert begins to drool all over the table.

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Ep. 108 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer is back for another episode out of G-bay studios! Tom starts with how he grew up thinking he wanted to become a doctor, but realized he needed a higher GPA than the second lowest. The bears get into the trade off between working hard and enjoying nice things and if it's ultimately worth it. Bert then describes the BEST pep talk he ever got before going to an audition, which leads the bears to trade nightmare Hollywood stories. Bert then actively drinks water for a bit trying to reach a gallon for the day and how drinking out of water bottles makes his stomach hurt. Then the bears trade gambling stories about blackjack roulette, and craps, which then leads the bears to share confrontation stories with security.

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Ep. 110 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer out of G-Bay studios! The bears start off with talking about what prison would be like and trade some Al Capone stories from Alcatraz. Bert then reveals how he'd make love with his night terrors when he was younger and Tom shows Bert some neat things on his Instagram. Bert continues to struggle with his recent coming out as fat and is debating if shaving his entire body would be a good motivation for weight loss. Bert runs a couple of scenarios involving having sex with people that are not their wives. Tom tells Bert about a recent show on a Saturday late show in Charlottesville that devolved into pandemonium and hanging out with Chris Long. Bert tries to figure out the guest list to his secret celebrity football dinner then tries to guess the colors of their eyes. They talk about the comedians they bring on the road and start discussing possible gimmicks that would work well for comics. Then, they circle back to the fat shaming argument and who is the actual delusional one and they face time with Pat McAfee.

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