"If you’ve ever been unemployed, you’re applying for everything to be fair. I don’t think (people) realise how much of an identity a job gives you and how much not having one takes it away.”
Eventually Dan went to the doctor and was put on antidepressants. Over time, his medication was changed, increased and he says the medication helped numb the worst of his feelings some of the time, but they didn't make him feel happy. "That's something that I’ve learnt on my mental health journey - only I can do that," he says.
Dan seriously considered suicide and had a letter written for a long time. “I took quite a practical approach to the matter. If I was going to do it, I was going to get it done. I couldn't imagine having to deal with life after a failed attempt. I know it shouldn’t be a stigma, but at the time you’re in a different head space. It was a very difficult time."In 2013, Dan got a job and life began to change for him. His first run was a charity event organised at his work in aid of St Michael's Hospice. He raised £200, enjoyed the experience and felt a real sense of achievement - something that has been key in helping improve Dan's mental state. He made friends at work, started to develop a social life and got positive feedback in his job and a pay rise, improving his self worth.
For the first time, Dan felt able to open up to one of his closest friends about his depression and, as a result, then had the confidence to talk to his parents too.
CBT through work was 'intense' but it really helped Dan to challenge his negative thoughts. "If you go in with a core belief that you're useless and then talk about how you've achieved this and that, you find yourself losing your own argument."
Dan then ran the London Marathon for his work charity, Guide Dogs UK, and got involved with Tough Mudders - a challenge that is far less about individual success than team work and camaraderie. "I love it, because you can run along with people, help them and talk to them along the way."
Through his running, Dan has displayed a real mental strength and determination. He admits he's quite an extreme person and loves the thrill of completing events - Park Runs, 10Ks and particularly ultra events like the Man Vs series that others would struggle to finish.
Having something to focus on has been key in Dan's mental health recovery and management. "It seems to be one of the key things for me. With depression, I spent hours lying bed hoping it would go away, but it doesn't and life just becomes more difficult."
Dan has realised that has his depression has no one specific factor, he needs to develop his own self care. "I still have periods when I get down. But I tell myself, 'I have to do this'. I've learnt I have to s
Thank you for listening today.
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03/14/22 • 30 min
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