Who You Needed

Helen vulnerably discusses the importance of rest, why she's stopping the 100-day challenge for the sake of her mental health, and meditation practice. 

Products/Books Mentioned (Afilliate Links)

• Think Like a Monk 

Show Notes

*Full transcript can be found at WhoYouNeeded.com

[00:00:00]  Welcome back. My name is Helen from "WhoYouNeeded.Com" and today's episode is about mindset. It's about resetting when you feel tired and not yourself lately. I know that with the year Mark coming to a close with the global pandemic, some of us can feel down. We can feel discouraged about the progress or lack thereof that's being made.

[00:00:23] So I really want today's episode to feel a little bit. Relaxing and a bit of a cleanse from the rest of the news that you might be reading about the state of the world. So, sit back, relax, drink your afternoon tea or coffee. Maybe you're listening to this in the morning and just rest with me for a little bit.

[00:00:43] I just posted something a few minutes ago about rest, how important it was to just reset, to not move at the pace that everyone else expects you to be moving in. But to just take a deep breath, wake up. Take some time to yourself and think about what I really need right now with everything that's going on.

[00:01:03] Sometimes I forget to meditate to really take a pause. And there's the digital space. There is the need to Oprah overproduce and to overwork yourself because you are working from home. And a lot of us haven't been taught those boundaries of when do I shut it off? When do I stop? And I'm here to tell you that I'm learning this too.

[00:01:26] There's so much information out there that now that my phone is available at my fingertips at 24 hours a day, seven days a week, it's hard to not be consumed by online media and by the surmounting pressures of being perfect during a pandemic. It's actually something I wanted to talk to you about today.

[00:01:48] The last few days I just haven't been doing so well mentally. That sends me to say that I have to stop me a hundred days of podcasts and it breaks my heart because I realized that content creation is such a personal endeavor that I wouldn't be doing my audience, a genuine service if I just posted something just for the clout of it.

[00:02:10] And who you needed is very anti clout or not about the reputation we're about serving with meaning and because who you needed is such a vulnerable podcast. To go there every single day would just seem inauthentic because I'm just not my best every day. And you, as my audience deserve the very best, this is starting to sound like a breakup, but I'm not quitting who you needed.

[00:02:35] I'm just being better about my time and notice that I'm in a pattern of overworking myself. And it's something that I'm mentally learning to work through that I don't need to perform so much in order to get. The approval that I want for myself and for the sake of my own mental health and just for the service that I want to provide for this podcast, I am going to take most of the week off instead of posting an episode every single day with working, part-time going to grad school, trying to write a dissertation, just trying to keep my head above water.

[00:03:09] I realized that a hundred days of podcasts just. Would be a loss in both areas. And I want to keep doing podcasts long-term these hundred days, or these last 25 days have really taught me about audio production, about content creation, about content planning and how to be very intentional about how I show up to spaces that I never want to turn on a mic because I have to, I want to create from a place of love and authenticity, and I will still post episodes two, three times a week.

[00:03:42] This has taught me a lot. I think taking on a big challenge in the midst of chaos was definitely a challenge. And so, thank you for letting me be honest with you and for allowing me to fail because. Wow. I wouldn't have been okay with this a year ago. I would've kept going and just burnt myself out, but we want to be able to prevent burnout.

[00:04:08] And so that means catching the areas in your life where you feel like you aren't being healthy early. It took some time to think about what it was that was going on. And, and I sat there, and I thought about. What's really in my heart right now. What's something that our community is going through. And with every conversation that I've had, I'm sensing this general pattern of just tired.

[00:04:33] I'm so tired of going on zoom and having to pretend like everything is okay. I'm tired of not having a genuine conversation or I'm not thinking about the state of the world. I really just want to engage in genuine conversation. And so, I wanted to hold that space for people who might just, jus...

Show Notes

[00:01:47] Balancing multiple things at one time. Helen asks Tom: How do you manage all of those passion projects and having a full-time job too?

[00:02:08] When you do everything you’re ‘supposed’ to and you are still unhappy

 “I was lost. I did everything I was supposed to. I chased, I was well paid. I had titles, all this stuff and I have an amazing wife and three amazing daughters and I felt dead inside. And there, I believe there are a lot more people that are that way. They just don't know it, or they're afraid they don't know who to talk to about it.”

[00:04:33] Am I living in everyone else’s expectations?

[00:07:05] Authors as Your Chosen Mentors – Our Desire to Grow is a Gradual, Learning Process

[00:13:03] The Process of Getting Comfortable with the Hard Questions

[00:15:29] The process of accepting your past, embracing Self-Forgiveness: “I have to shed that because I can't move forward.”

[00:22:20] The Art of Focus: Our minds focus on THOUSANDS of things a day

[00:25:54] Finding Release from Unnecessary Stressors

[00:30:15] Importance of Spiritual Practices

[00:32:07] Escaping from our “hamster wheel of torture

 [00:34:32] Boundaries in Media Consumption

[00:42:03]-  [00:44:59] Tom Shares a Story of His Daughter: On Perceived Failure + Perspective

[00:48:26] Healing from Hard Circumstances:  “awaken and be at peace and ease”. 

[00:55:36] Shutting Off our “Monkey Minds”